+- clovenhooves (https://clovenhooves.org)
+-- Forum: The Personal Is Political (https://clovenhooves.org/forumdisplay.php?fid=3)
+--- Forum: Everyday Sexism (https://clovenhooves.org/forumdisplay.php?fid=33)
+--- Thread: Social Media “I'm having a son and my dad's reaction broke my heart” (/showthread.php?tid=1354)
“I'm having a son and my dad's reaction broke my heart” - Clover - Jul 7 2025
r/TwoXChromosomes https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1ltosyh/im_having_a_son_and_my_dads_reaction_broke_my/
Cute-Delivery-5752 I'm pregnant for the first time and we recently found out that we're having a boy. Me and my husband didn't have gender preference, we were just happy the test didn't show any genetic abnormalities.
However some of the reactions from people are kinda getting on my nerves. My friend said "your husband is so lucky to have a son at first try". Excuse me? Would he be unlucky if we had a daughter? We also heard "that's good, boys are easier" and "the bond between mother and son is unlike any other". Um, thanks? I guess the bond I have with my mom is not as precious then.
Then my dad's reaction was the most painful for me to see. He was so excited. Celebrating. Telling my husband "good job!", "lucky you!". It's like I've never seen him so happy. It made me feel really bad because I am his daughter. Does it mean he was disappointed with me?
I don't have any brothers. My husband says I am overthinking it and my dad is just happy cause he never experienced having a son and if I were a boy, he'd probably wish his grandkid was a girl. But I'm not sure.
This took away from my enjoyment of having a son. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to have a boy. It's not about who he is, it's about who I am. Was I not good enough?
RE: “I'm having a son and my dad's reaction broke my heart” - Elsacat - Jul 8 2025
No she's not overthinking it, she's surrounded by people who value boys more than girls.
I've always suspected part of that bias is a subtle, sometimes unspoken, maybe sometimes unconscious fear of another mouth to feed, the worry about the daughter becoming pregnant before she's launched her own separate life, and making that baby the responsibility of her parents. People don't seem to worry about that with their sons, probably because that baby isn't going to live with them. The baby will ultimately be the problem of the son's girlfriend and her family.
RE: “I'm having a son and my dad's reaction broke my heart” - OffMyTit - Jul 9 2025
This is how most people feel. I’m surprised it took this for her to see it.
You know, I don’t even think it’s about it’s about the baby a girl might have. I think men just think boys make better virility tokens than girls and women want most of all to please the men in their lives.
RE: “I'm having a son and my dad's reaction broke my heart” - Magpie - Jul 9 2025
The prevailing preference can also be influenced by gender roles. South Korea is a good example of this, as it's the only country I know of that actually switched. Sons used to be preferred because they were seen as financial providers for when the parents got older, but because society has changed having a caretaker has taken priority, causing a shift to daughter preference (though there are of course also other factors involved).