thrway-fatpos I'm not trying to generalize here. This is just based on my friend group and my experience as an urban 26 year old woman.

My best friend was just dumped by her bf of 5 years because she didn't want kids (something they had EXTENSIVELY discussed) and he woke up on his 30th birthday and decided suddenly he needed a legacy.

Men in their late 20s early 30s are OBSESSED with having kids. And the women my age? My girlfriends are all super ambivalent, if not hostile, to the idea. Like, it seems like wanting kids among women is less and less common with the late 20s early 30s demographic, while its ALL men can think of.

It's so weird because growing up all the media, all the movies and TV shows taught me that women are baby crazy, the biological clock is ticking, and yet in real life its the MEN who are relentless about being fathers.

Its really weird and its put every pop culture depiction of women I've ever seen in question.

Daydreaming_demond Time has shifted the perspective.

Men: i want kids because I want the life my dad had.

Women: I don't want kids because I don't want the life my mother had.

Fjordgirl I'm 60 years old with 3 kids in their early 20s. I think one huge reason this is happening is because men can have kids with virtually no impact on their careers and goals in life. Women, on the other hand, often have to back-burner their careers when they have kids. I don't even mean be the total stay-at-home mom, but rather, they pursue "easier" careers, don't push for that promotion, do freelance or contract work, curtail travel, do fewer "networking" events like happy hours, golf games, etc.

MOST of the moms I know have sacrificed their careers in some way. Sure, not all of them, but many. But I know very very few men who have had to do the same thing.

ejdax37 I have seen studies that show men actually do better in their careers! If a man has a family their employer sees them as stable, but a woman is a liability because she will miss more work, or not be as "focused" whether this is true or not.

Bundt-lover There was that absolutely infuriating statistic about, when lockdown took place in 2020, men with academic positions furthered their careers because they used that time to write and publish, while women with academic careers spent that time trying to teach their kids and actually fell behind professionally.

blueavole Right now having a miscarriage  in some US states means we might be forced to go a week without treatment for septic shock. 

If men want women to consider being mothers :  maybe they should vote like they care about our lives. 

https://www.texastribune.org/2024/11/27/texas-abortion-death-porsha-ngumezi/

Or harassed for having pregnancy complications when there was no fetus to save

https://www.texastribune.org/2023/12/13/texas-abortion-lawsuit/

While the state of Texas forces employees to stay at work ,  dening them pregnancy care, which caused her to lose her very wanted pregnancy

https://www.texastribune.org/2023/08/11/texas-prison-lawsuit-fetal-rights/

Harmless_Poison_Ivy If I had a nice orgasm and that was my contribution to having a baby, maybe I would want kids too.

Freshy007 As a 40 year old woman, I find this hilarious in an ironic way. When I was in my 20's dating, most men acted like women were secretly trying to harvest their precious sperm to impregnate themselves despite their objections. We were all trying to baby trap them even when we were insistent we didn't want kids. I didn't even meet a man who wanted to marry and have kids until I was in my mid 30's (not that I was interested in that before then). They all just wanted girlfriends and long term sex on tap with no real commitment.

Boy oh boy have the tables turned. Good on you ladies, they're never happy with anything we do or want.

sanityjanity They don't want to *raise* babies.  They're just weirdly obsessed with their "fabulous" DNA being passed on.

Do these men want to change 13 diapers a day?  Do they want to do 10+ feedings a day for a newborn?  Do they want to get up in the middle of the night to comfort a weeping child, even though they have a big day at work?  No.

They have an image of playing with some elementary aged kids on the lawn with the dog once, and maybe opening some Christmas gifts together (but the gifts were shopped and wrapped by someone else), and then playing in the snow, and coming in to drink hot cocoa.

But they don't fantasize about shopping for snow pants and hunting down lost gloves.

Women have gotten the word.  Social media and their own eyes have let them know that even now, women are doing the lion's share of the labor, and it is not remotely mandatory.

LadyMageCOH They want babies the same way that children want puppies.  They want all the fun, but none of the responsibility

Zlifbar Women at looking at the world and seeing reality and making a decision. Men are trying to manifest wish fulfillment for “propagating their lines” or whatever.

coconutpiecrust Women evolved past basic biology, I guess, men did not. Life is too complicated now to just bone and hope for the best. 

As a side note, men can’t have children. The woman has a child and they share responsibility for it. They definitely do not “have” it together. 

ahoveringhummingbird This observation lines up perfectly with the relentless propaganda hitting young men from "Men's Rights" and Right Wing influencers. Men have always seemed ambivalent about this issue and it's been only recently that the messaging has directly tied their manhood and success in life with how many spawn they produce. Conversely all talk about the "falling birth rate" is posed as specifically an issue with uncooperative women and specifically that it shouldn't be a choice for women because when give the choice they may choose not to.

If you follow the breadcrumbs it all circles back to control of women. RW men do not like women to have agency so they are whirling young men into a frenzy by using enflamed language that denigrates women who use that agency or tell men no. The language used permits and even excuses violence toward women (in the name of preventing human extinction!) while they work behind the scenes to limit what choices women have such as birth control and pregnancy prevention or interruption.

Women should 100% reject this framing and reject any men who subscribe to this framing. The  male loneliness "epidemic" should continue until women get the rights they deserve.

boommdcx Young women know that they are the ones who will do 99% of the childcare, household admin, emotional labour etc and are saying no thanks….

This is probably the first generation that is openly talking about the reality of motherhood imo. Previous generations were always silenced when it came to talking about the negative realties of being mothers, often by other women imo.

I enjoy motherhood, but the reality of the workload is intense and I am here for young women openly saying they don’t want to sign up for all that.

Quote:Over the course of our Tech Bro 2.0 project, in which we spoke to nearly two dozen young male founders, one problem emerged repeatedly. Although the vast majority want the strangely specific number of four children, they are single, grind more than 80 hours a week, and aren’t on dating apps. Many can’t name a single bar or club they frequent, or a single hobby they have outside of work. 

Quote:Gouailhardou said she’s seen the tech bros around her become more conservative; she has yet to meet one who answers “yes” when asked if he’s a feminist. She said Silicon Valley men want to date ambitious women “but then want lifestyles that are not going to allow an ambitious woman to achieve her dreams.” 

Quote:One 25-year-old AI founder said he wants seven kids, then shrugged. “I gotta find my first girlfriend.”