Quote:Under a patriarchy, women are raised to be subservient to men. This service manifests mostly in the home, in child-raising and in community building. From this, men gain the invaluable labor of having someone take care of them and their kids. How men encourage women to continuously engage in this system is to romanticize it–literally.

Quote:In the ideal fairytale romance where are you? Behind the white picket fence, in the white two story home, where do you lie? As a woman, I can identify myself easily. I am the wife in the kitchen. I am the mom tucking her kids to bed. I am in the backyard on my knees, tending to the garden. Where does a man see himself? Nowhere, probably.

(Dec 28 2025, 9:29 AM)Elsacat I feel like it's also designed to enforce women's chastity for men's benefit. No giving yourself up until you find The One!

Quote:In the ideal fairytale romance where are you? Behind the white picket fence, in the white two story home, where do you lie? As a woman, I can identify myself easily. I am the wife in the kitchen. I am the mom tucking her kids to bed. I am in the backyard on my knees, tending to the garden. Where does a man see himself? Nowhere, probably.

Take the kids and men out of the picture and yeah, that is kind of my fairytale life. A cute little house with a yard, room enough for a couple of pets and me to enjoy indoors, and enough space outdoors for a modest garden. if a man was going to be in there somewhere, he better have his own place to live and his own life that doesn't involve trying to ruin mine.

Quote:Partnering with a man needs to be done with eyes wide open, lots of discernment, and an escape route kept open.

(Dec 28 2025, 2:16 PM)YesYourNigel I feel like it's more obvious with these very traditional narratives, but something I particularly hate is how women are discouraged from bringing "politics" into a relationship, and told to overlook the mentality of primitive regressive misogynists for "love". And all the BS about "self-sacrifice" and "understanding" that is superficially presented as being general relationship advice for everyone but that, due to how our society socialises us, only women are really primed to take in. So you just get all this self-help relationship advice gaslighting women and telling them they need to turn the other cheek and be more tolerant when the man is being a dead weight.

Quote:Partnering with a man needs to be done with eyes wide open, lots of discernment, and an escape route kept open.

Quote:I'd want women to only partner with men if he can at the very least put in the work of reconsidering his patriarchal socialisation and ideology. I feel all too often men get away with keeping their misogyny as part of their "normal" male attitude, and feminism gets treated as some side-project for the woman in relationship with him, instead of the man putting in the work to not be a burden and to not be explotative towards the woman he supposedly loves. If you're keeping your radfem ideology on the down-lo because he'll get pissy and defensive, then don't bother.