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Ovarit post on o/Lesbians: "Where have we all gone?" - komorebi - Dec 16 2024
https://ovarit.com/o/Lesbians/633964/where-have-we-all-gone
Many users discussing how the lesbophobia on Ovarit (among other issues) has led them to participate less. :(
(Note: only lesbians are allowed to participate in o/Lesbians! I subscribe, but just to see what women are talking about.)
RE: Ovarit post on o/Lesbians: "Where have we all gone?" - Clover - Dec 16 2024
I think one of the first telltale signs that Ovarit was leaning towards conservatism was when a detrans woman spoke about how she felt unwelcome on Ovarit. Back then I was surprised, because there is even a circle dedicated to detrans women! But it is an extremely inactive circle. And then I started paying closer attention and I saw what she meant. Sometimes you can just pick up a vibe and tell you're not "welcome" there. Especially if a detrans woman chose to be trans due to wanting to be GNC, when a large majority of Ovarit don't really have GC takes or support GNC, they just want trans to "go away" and I guess they think gender non-conformity is just magically going to go away with it..? It very much doesn't feel like a place where one can feel vulnerable/supported about such topics.
Anyway, I guess my point there is "just because a circle exists for a group of women, doesn't mean the website as a whole is welcoming of that group." I am disappointed to see one of them said “I came in here to say that lesbians get banned for standing up to the homophobic nonsense here.” Although I am a strange mixture of shocked and yet also unsurprised? Right-wing rhetoric doesn't jump out guns blazing right away, it creeps in slowly. The idea of "dogwhistles" gets a fair amount of mockery, no thanks to TRAs abusing that term to claim anything under the sun is a "terf/transphobic dogwhistle," but I do believe dogwhistles exist (I just know claiming is a dogwhistle is absolutely useless nowadays, but to actually pick apart the dogwhistle takes so much energy than it does for the person who uses it). Those who are part of minority groups are more likely to pick up on it sooner, more likely to voice concerns, and more likely to "act out of line" (get warnings/bans) when calling out prejudiced takes they see (especially when earlier concerns may have been dismissed). Or they can just get fed up with seeing such takes and just leave. Although, another caveat to all this that I'm saying, conservative/right-wing lesbians exist lol, so that might make a lesbian online community (especially on Ovarit which is welcomes right-wingers) even more fractured/less likely to engage with each other, since politics have become so extremely polarized.
TLDR; sadge for lesbian women on Ovarit.
RE: Ovarit post on o/Lesbians: "Where have we all gone?" - komorebi - Dec 16 2024
Yeah, it sucks that a lot of useful ideas (not just dogwhistles, but like, intersectionality for example...) have been coopted, made useless, or otherwise turned on their heads by TRAs. In my experience, though, sometimes things went way past "dogwhistle" on Ovarit into blatant homophobia, and as far as I could tell the behavior was never censured or even corrected by mods in any way. I remember some posts just showing like the regular old rainbow pride flag and people saying hateful things, and some users piping up being like "hey this is the normal pride flag, not the ugly 'progress' one, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater," and then other posters being like "well it's all the same shit." So much for solidarity with our lesbian sisters, eh?
(Dec 16 2024, 11:43 AM)Clover Especially if a detrans woman chose to be trans due to wanting to be GNC, when a large majority of Ovarit don't really have GC takes or support GNC, they just want trans to "go away" and I guess they think gender non-conformity is just magically going to go away with it..? It very much doesn't feel like a place where one can feel vulnerable/supported about such topics.
Yep--and they don't seem to mind if gay people are collateral damage either. It really goes to show that "gendercrit" has grown to be so large of an umbrella as to become useless, which is ironic, because that's exactly what happened to "trans/queer" as umbrella terms too.
I came to GC thinking in large part because I strongly objected to things like the "cotton ceiling," which I interpreted as corrective rape, and the idea that lesbians had to accept men as sexual partners just because of their internal gender identities. Now "GC" women laud the removal of pride flags and celebrate the silencing of lesbians and the stifling of gender nonconformity. 🤷 Sigh.
RE: Ovarit post on o/Lesbians: "Where have we all gone?" - YesYourNigel - Dec 16 2024
Quote:Although, another caveat to all this that I'm saying, conservative/right-wing lesbians exist lol, so that might make a lesbian online community (especially on Ovarit which is welcomes right-wingers) even more fractured/less likely to engage with each other, since politics have become so extremely polarized.
I very rarely see right-wing lesbians, compared to right-wing gay men (most of whom want to keep their white male privileges while fucking men on the down low). Almost all the best takes I've seen on radical feminism have come from lesbians, and generally the more a place becomes overtaken with straight/bi women, the more the "Not my Nigel" bullshit and the associated persecution complex over Nigel's bullshit starts creeping in, until it's glaringly obvious that most of the ideas are just parroted hubby's rants (which in turn are just parroted from his favourite podcasters or influencers). Obvs lesbians are also raised in a patriarchy but since they don't pair off with men they're not going to be so vulnerable to just nodding at whatever the authoritive male voice next to them says.
Certainly there's a subset of butch lesbians (which also frequently devolve into straight up TIFs) that awkwardly try to roleplay as misogynistic dudebros because they think their "unfuckable" status among dudebros amounts to being respected by men, but I find that they're really rare due to how self-hating you have to be to reach that point. I think women like that know they need to avoid thinking too hard about these things so their male-approval-seeking raison d'etre wouldn't come crashing down, so they're not going to get too involved in anything too verbose, they're just gonna be high-fiveing and clapping for the dudebros losing their shit over feminazis. At least that's been my observation.
RE: Ovarit post on o/Lesbians: "Where have we all gone?" - sealwomyn - Dec 17 2024
Oh hey, thanks for posting this - we'll see if Ovarit mods delete my comments on that thread. There are definitely a handful of annoying rightwing and adjacent lesbians on that site, and they also complain about most other lesbians wanting nothing to do with them, hmmm I wonder why! Lol.
And yeah mainly it's nonstop homophobia, hate for GNC people rather than specifically the misogynistic aspects of the gender movement, and all kinds of garden variety usamerican and UK style bigotry from the users of the other circles that give the site a well-deserved bad name among radical feminists I know in person. Especially the constant racism and the absolute failure to create a WOC circle, to the point multiple users left or were banned over it... Their mods have given me several reasons over the years as to why they say they care a lot about racism but can't build one, which hold less and less water for me as they continue to pull in donations every month to pay off the costs of hosting the site and no WOC centric space is forthcoming. Other comments here are right that a lot of it is rhetoric and language/mindset rather than simply typing racial slurs, so the mods can conveniently say "who is being racist? please report them" while clearly having zero intention to put a stop to it and expecting us to just Civilly Discuss with garbage humans literally defending white nationalism.
The constant vitriol for trans-identifying women and girls is disgusting, especially antifeminist mockery of their looks and mental health, and most especially from the smugly ignorant, gender conforming, clueless straight women who think they are soooo much smarter than dysphoric women while they themselves are obeying all these patriarchal dictates and will start a 200 comment defensive outrage thread if you mention that makeup is not feminist or how women's clothing is designed to objectify, degrade, and to hamper your movement. Dysphoric and gender noncompliant women and girls are seeing many aspects of society more clearly than these obedient wives could manage, yet they think we are so delusional and beneath them it's actually laughable to me personally, but yeah I definitely would not post deeply personal and traumatic history about my early disidentification from womanhood there for them to mock and get homophobic about, nor suggest any woman struggling with newly reidentifying, desisting or detransitioning do so either unless she is in a sound mental space to deal with complacent, ignorant assholes who refuse to educate themselves on gendered socialization, cheerfully talk plans to put their poor daughters into womanhating catholic schools to keep them away from trans-identifying friend groups, repeat gender essentialist ladybrain stuff all the time, and blame dysphoric women and girls for problems caused by the deep-seated misogyny in patriarchal societies. It is not a supportive place for desisting women in my experience - even though they may welcome new desisted users, it's also with an outpouring of condescendingly scolding them in the same breath.
I am glad I signed up for this site, reading a few threads has been a breath of fresh air in comparison so far. I thought about suggesting this forum over there but I haven't been here long enough to see if we have an active lesbian community here.
RE: Ovarit post on o/Lesbians: "Where have we all gone?" - komorebi - Dec 17 2024
@sealwomyn: I was going to quote your post to respond but then realized I was quoting all of it. XD You said everything I feel quite succinctly, from the frustration with inaction on the part of the mods, to being pissed off about the rampant and brazen homophobia. It's become one of those sites where I always regret reading the comments. 😔 I really should know better by now!
Quote:I am glad I signed up for this site, reading a few threads has been a breath of fresh air in comparison so far. I thought about suggesting this forum over there but I haven't been here long enough to see if we have an active lesbian community here.
The active community is pretty small, but hey, gotta start somewhere, right? :) If enough women start checking and posting every day, we'll have a bigger community!
RE: Ovarit post on o/Lesbians: "Where have we all gone?" - YesYourNigel - Dec 17 2024
Quote:Especially the constant racism and the absolute failure to create a WOC circle, to the point multiple users left or were banned over it...
That was the wakeup call for me. Esp white women saying stupid-ass shit like "White women being mocked and dismissed proves anti-white racism exists! (and my Nigel totally cares about my rights when he complains about white men having it so hard these days!)", and if you had the gall to challenge this, mods would rush in to delete it for being "off-topic" or "hostile". Because it's totally not off-topic and hostile to appropriate blatant misogyny to justify white supremacist delusions.
Quote:Their mods have given me several reasons over the years as to why they say they care a lot about racism but can't build one
lol would love to hear their reasoning. Is it "divisive"? Funny how white supremacism is never "divisive.
Quote:a lot of it is rhetoric and language/mindset rather than simply typing racial slurs, so the mods can conveniently say "who is being racist? please report them" while clearly having zero intention to put a stop to it and expecting us to just Civilly Discuss with garbage humans literally defending white nationalism.
It's such a popular tactic in the vast majority of nominally progressive or "anti-hate" spaces. People think it's just about the most villainous slurs and rants, when in reality it's slapping women and minorities for daring to even mention any problems (because that's "hostile" and "bigoted"), while letting short Twitter-style comments slide so long as no-one challenges them and turns them into "drama" (in which case we half-heartedly slap the first poster on the wrist, while also deleting the person who called them out for being "combatative" and "extremist", and pat ourselves on the back for recognising that two wrongs don't make a right 🙃).
Quote:especially from the smugly ignorant, gender conforming, clueless straight women who think they are soooo much smarter than dysphoric women while they themselves are obeying all these patriarchal dictates and will start a 200 comment defensive outrage thread if you mention that makeup is not feminist or how women's clothing is designed to objectify, degrade, and to hamper your movement.
I can't handle seeing yet another gender-complacent boomer woman complaining about kids these days and how back in her day girls could be tomboys for a little while before growing up into sex objects, so why are all these whipper-snappers whining so much? Also, porn is the only thing that made/makes men shitty towards women!
I ultimately got banned from Ovarit because I told women on a thread about how women's clothes are made for female bodies that, no, women's clothes are made to objectify us, and normal clothing is not actually supposed to prioritise emphasising your bodily curves, and maybe give the actually comfortable male clothing a try for a change without worrying about how much it hugs your hips. Bunch of them got pissy at me for "discrediting their experiences" and the mods swooped in to punish me for being "hostile". Mind you I never insulted anyone, but I held my ground that objectively uncomfortable clothing cannot be "actually totally comfy" just because some woman claims to be from another planet where different laws of physics and evolution apply (which is a cope from women I've been hearing about everything from high heels to lacy bras to long hair).
Got booted from another GC space when I argued that long hair takes much more upkeep, even if we only look at the time it takes to dry, let alone combing, products etc. But basic laws of physics apparently change just by coping women feeling gender euphoria. So many of these women scoff at the idea of gendersouls trumping reality, and yet will insist that walking on a tall spike is just as comfy as normal flat shoes, human anatomy and ergonomics be damned.
Obviously "gendersouls", aka obsession over gender roles isn't something trans people invented, but these women think they're somehow special and above it all just because they're obedient and compliant, and it's obvious that they're just as manipulated as trans people, hell, even moreso. At least trans people had to disagree with a part of patriarchal ideology (not the gender roles part ofc, just the "you can't change your sex" part), whereas these women think they're somehow brave and daring for just having the most milquetoast view that yes, women have vaginas. Have a fucking medal.
Quote: I definitely would not post deeply personal and traumatic history about my early disidentification from womanhood there for them to mock and get homophobic about, nor suggest any woman struggling with newly reidentifying, desisting or detransitioning do so either unless she is in a sound mental space
I remember seeing a picture of a confident butch desisted woman who was smiling and living her best life, even though she underwent masectomy. I wish more desisters understood that life isn't over just because you stop lying to yourself, or just because you were preyed on to damage your body. And esp that they're not somehow less female. The whole point is that it's impossible to change your femaleness. My heart sinks every time a "GC" or desisted woman caked in makeup, fake eyelashes, nails etc. (they seem to be even moreso than average women) gets reposted talking about how anyone can be anything they want and you can totally be gender nonconforming and no-one will care, so trans people are just making a big deal out of nothing. Yeah right.
I couldn't handle keeping up with the detrans subreddit because of how many detrans women were posting about how to look more feminine and womanly and how to use makeup, and I couldn't say anything because I wasn't detrans myself. Often you'd even see horny detrans straight men chime in.
Quote:repeat gender essentialist ladybrain stuff all the time
omfg the straight women who parrot this drive me up a wall. And I'm sure it's the straight ones because I never see them really put much thought into it - they mostly just parrot their hubbies and reblog male influencers talking about it. So many straight women there romanticise their own inferiority. I do understand it's a result of a lifetime of patriarchy, but like...I've seen them equate women to little children in regards to physical strength, and just use their husbands as a solution for everything. They basically like the idea that brainsex is women being motherly and sth sth sacred femininity, and their husbands are knights in shining armour which is lmao not how that works. It's like tradwives who think traditional relationships are what's depicted in their romance novels, which is wildly at odds with what men keep pushing.
EDIT: fixed the messy formatting
RE: Ovarit post on o/Lesbians: "Where have we all gone?" - Elsacat - Dec 17 2024
This thread is giving me a lot to think about, and this in particular really hit:
"Got booted from another GC space when I argued that long hair takes much more upkeep, even if we only look at the time it takes to dry, let alone combing, products etc. But basic laws of physics apparently change just by coping women feeling gender euphoria."
Until now, I'd have insisted women (unless maybe some TIFs) don't experience "gender euphoria." But what else is it when I'm in a nice feminine outfit, hair and makeup done, looking at myself in the mirror and feeling "pretty"?
Would I feel the same way if I were in a clean pressed button-down dress shirt, pressed trousers, shined flat dress shoes, hair short and neatly slicked back, face clean but no trace of makeup?
Or does the traditional gender presentation make me feel some kind of way, not sexual like with so many TIMs, but still an "I feel pretty" buzz? Is that not some kind of gender euphoria?
RE: Ovarit post on o/Lesbians: "Where have we all gone?" - komorebi - Dec 17 2024
YesYourNigel I ultimately got banned from Ovarit because I told women on a thread about how women's clothes are made for female bodies that, no, women's clothes are made to objectify us, and normal clothing is not actually supposed to prioritise emphasising your bodily curves, and maybe give the actually comfortable male clothing a try for a change without worrying about how much it hugs your hips.
I think I remember a thread like that! LOL, "made for female bodies." I am a tall woman who grew up in Asia, where fashion tends to be very petite, and let me tell you, those clothes weren't made to fit my body. I have been a healthy weight all my life, so this isn't a gripe about a lack of plus-size options (which is a separate problem). I was the tallest of my friend group by far, and whenever we went out shopping together, I would pretty much just hang out while they tried stuff on (they were sympathetic, of course, but it's not like any of us could do anything about it). Imagine the utter despair I felt upon finding a pair of jeans where both legs were just about wide enough to fit a single one of mine 🤣
The silver lining of all this is that I ended up buying from the men's section and realizing that their clothes are really comfortable, LMAO. As I now live in the US I no longer have a sizing problem, but I still shop in the men's section generally because I prefer the styles and comfort. (For anyone who has a similar problem, I highly recommend UNIQLO's men's EZY jeans! Sooo comfy, they feel like sweatpants.)
sealwomyn ...but yeah I definitely would not post deeply personal and traumatic history about my early disidentification from womanhood there for them to mock and get homophobic about, nor suggest any woman struggling with newly reidentifying, desisting or detransitioning do so either unless she is in a sound mental space to deal with complacent, ignorant assholes who refuse to educate themselves on gendered socialization...
Speaking of, I had a few such aggressive interactions with other Ovarit users whenever I shared my personal experiences (ended up deleting my comments, so they're probably not in my history), and then I resolved to never talk about myself on Ovarit again, lol. I don't know what it is about that place, it just gets so damn toxic. I'm hoping Cloven Hooves can be a bit more uplifting in terms of community-building!
Elsacat: I wanted to respond to you too, but I've got to run to an appointment! I'll be back later 🫡
RE: Ovarit post on o/Lesbians: "Where have we all gone?" - Clover - Dec 19 2024
komorebi In my experience, though, sometimes things went way past "dogwhistle" on Ovarit into blatant homophobia, and as far as I could tell the behavior was never censured or even corrected by mods in any way. I remember some posts just showing like the regular old rainbow pride flag and people saying hateful things, and some users piping up being like "hey this is the normal pride flag, not the ugly 'progress' one, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater," and then other posters being like "well it's all the same shit." [...] I came to GC thinking in large part because I strongly objected to things like the "cotton ceiling," which I interpreted as corrective rape, and the idea that lesbians had to accept men as sexual partners just because of their internal gender identities. Now "GC" women laud the removal of pride flags and celebrate the silencing of lesbians and the stifling of gender nonconformity.Woof. That reminds me of how much schadenfreude there seemed to be when June pride festivities were decreasing (which was attributed to transmania). I was like "yeah I kind of hate the commercialization of gay pride," but some of the comments just seemed gleeful that pride was reducing in general. I'm still so disappointed about how the TQ force-teamed itself so successfully with LGB. It feels like conservatives might as well have been rooting for the force-teaming to happen, in order to reduce people's support for LGB in general, as then conservatives claims of LGB being "degenerate" was strengthened by every TIM being a fool and invading women's spaces and rights. And gender non-conformity/gender abolition has taken a massive hit because of transgenderism and the conservative backlash to transgenderism.
YesYourNigel I very rarely see right-wing lesbians, compared to right-wing gay men (most of whom want to keep their white male privileges while fucking men on the down low). Almost all the best takes I've seen on radical feminism have come from lesbians, and generally the more a place becomes overtaken with straight/bi women, the more the "Not my Nigel" bullshit and the associated persecution complex over Nigel's bullshit starts creeping in, until it's glaringly obvious that most of the ideas are just parroted hubby's rants (which in turn are just parroted from his favourite podcasters or influencers). Obvs lesbians are also raised in a patriarchy but since they don't pair off with men they're not going to be so vulnerable to just nodding at whatever the authoritive male voice next to them says.Yeah, I think lesbian women have extremely valuable insights on patriarchy and women's oppression, as they cannot be swayed by any desire to change themselves or their thoughts just for the attention of a man. That is why this /o/Lesbian discussion post is quite saddening to see, as the loss of lesbian community on Ovarit means the loss of a lot of unique perspectives, especially regarding feminist/pro-woman causes. I honestly didn't even think much about the possibility of right-wing lesbians existing until I had a run-in with one on Ovarit that left me quite shook (very misogynistic reductive anti-choice takes). Then a lesbian woman on radblr actually discussed right-wing lesbians, so I thought that was interesting to see expanded upon. But yeah, I do imagine the intersection of "right-wing" and "lesbian" is quite small.
sealwomyn There are definitely a handful of annoying rightwing and adjacent lesbians on that site, and they also complain about most other lesbians wanting nothing to do with them, hmmm I wonder why!I am curious, is there ever any uh, "addressing of the elephant in the room" when it comes to them wondering such a thing? lol.
sealwomyn hate for GNC people rather than specifically the misogynistic aspects of the gender movement, and all kinds of garden variety usamerican and UK style bigotry from the users of the other circles that give the site a well-deserved bad name among radical feminists I know in person.Dang. 😔 I guess I can't say I'm surprised, but it always sucks to hear. Because it means the chances of radfem/feminist women joining Ovarit to shift the Overton window more left continues to be reduced. It's like a negative feedback loop.
sealwomyn Other comments here are right that a lot of it is rhetoric and language/mindset rather than simply typing racial slurs, so the mods can conveniently say "who is being racist? please report them" while clearly having zero intention to put a stop to it and expecting us to just Civilly Discuss with garbage humans literally defending white nationalism.Okay, I even touched on this a bit in RusticTroglodyte's "elephant in the room" thread! Someone was asking for instances of this "supposed" right-wing shift with a lot of investigative sounding questions and I replied with something like "that just sounds utterly exhausting" to sit there and compile every instance?!
And like you point out, it's not like these users sit there and scream homophobic or racial slurs in every post. It's "subtle" things. It reminds me of respectability politics in a way. Like oh, because a user is "politely" or "respectfully" promoting white supremacism, if we don't "politely" or "respectfully" engage with them on how white supremacism is uhhhh fucking racist??? and instead express disgust/anger/annoyance then we're the bad ones?
YesYourNigel touches on this well in her response. Though ironically—"It's such a popular tactic in the vast majority of nominally progressive or "anti-hate" spaces."—it feels like Ovarit is happy to allow hatred of transgender-identifying people (which I feel like they forget includes women and girls?!). (I literally remember making a post a long time ago, where I think the OP was trying to clarify being gender critical is about liberating women, not about shitting on trans people or something, and I chimed in agreeing and stated something like "I don't hate transgender-identifying people" in a part of my post, and someone replied to me like "NO, I HATE THEM" and continued a loooong tirade about how much she hates transgender-identifying people and it was just like "oof"...)
And the thing is, usually the racist, misogynistic, homophobic, etc. takes get taken down by mods/admins, but by that point, all the anger people feel from seeing those takes being up, and all the energy of people trying to "engage/argue in good faith" is wasted. And what drives me up the wall is apparently how many chances people who make racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. takes get, because their bigoted comments are just removed from public eye and they can mosey on along to make new ones a few days later, is infuriating.
sealwomyn The constant vitriol for trans-identifying women and girls is disgusting, especially antifeminist mockery of their looks and mental health, and most especially from the smugly ignorant, gender conforming, clueless straight women who think they are soooo much smarter than dysphoric women while they themselves are obeying all these patriarchal dictates and will start a 200 comment defensive outrage thread if you mention that makeup is not feminist or how women's clothing is designed to objectify, degrade, and to hamper your movement. Dysphoric and gender noncompliant women and girls are seeing many aspects of society more clearly than these obedient wives could manage, yet they think we are so delusional and beneath them it's actually laughable to me personally, but yeah I definitely would not post deeply personal and traumatic history about my early disidentification from womanhood there for them to mock and get homophobic about, nor suggest any woman struggling with newly reidentifying, desisting or detransitioning do so either unless she is in a sound mental space to deal with complacent, ignorant assholes who refuse to educate themselves on gendered socialization, cheerfully talk plans to put their poor daughters into womanhating catholic schools to keep them away from trans-identifying friend groups, repeat gender essentialist ladybrain stuff all the time, and blame dysphoric women and girls for problems caused by the deep-seated misogyny in patriarchal societies. It is not a supportive place for desisting women in my experience - even though they may welcome new desisted users, it's also with an outpouring of condescendingly scolding them in the same breath.I wanted to try shortening this quote lol but I couldn't find anything that deserved to be cut because it's all valid. I remember seeing a post in /o/TransLogic where the OP literally just scraped a bunch of selfies from a TIF subreddit and made fun of their looks. The comments, mainly from her, were absolutely atrocious. Calling these young women "clowns" and "mimes" and "demons" and encouraging others to laugh, it was sick. Luckily this post got removed (I reported it, it had absolutely nothing to do with trans logic) but I'm still shocked that this person thought Ovarit is a place where they can "safely" ridicule young women (teenage girls even?) struggling with mental health issues, internalized and externalized misogyny, and living in a gender-conforming patriarchal society (where most people are unaware of, and don't care, or don't even believe exists), instead of... showing some basic human empathy?!
And yes, I have witnessed that Ovarit is not a particularly safe place to talk about serious mental health issues. "Garden variety" depression and anxiety might be tolerable and acceptable to discuss, but I've seen some dehumanizing/callous takes when it comes to people with more stigmatized mental health conditions.
The makeup apologia, the Abrahamic religion apologia (oh but Islam is fair game!! that Abrahamic religion is allowed to be criticized!! the one they don't follow!! the one led by foreign men!! [and they never refer to their religion as Abrahamic because then they'd have to acknowledge their religion is under the same misogynistic patriarchal religion umbrella as Islam]), the marriage and "taking husband's last name" apologia, etc. My favorite is how we are supposed to be understanding of women defending these practices because "internalized misogyny"... and yet this same grace and understanding seems to be absent for transgender-identifying women and girls..?
sealwomyn I thought about suggesting this forum over there but I haven't been here long enough to see if we have an active lesbian community here.This forum is still small. There are, I would say, (and given its small size) a fair amount of lesbian women registered, but I don't think all of them are active. Some made accounts but don't check in or participate very often. It's somewhat similar to what was discussed in the o/Lesbians post, where I assume people want the community, but it takes work to build the community. (For instance, there was a lot of hype for CH when I was developing it and sharing updates on Tumblr, but all those like/reblogs didn't necessarily translate to active CH users. And I understand, it takes effort to make posts, use a new website, build up activity, remember to check in, etc. I'm happy when anyone participates whenever they do.)
I also don't really advertise this place a lot lol. I try to crosspost posts to Tumblr/Ovarit when I can, but I try to be mindful about it.
YesYourNigel I ultimately got banned from Ovarit because I told women on a thread about how women's clothes are made for female bodies that, no, women's clothes are made to objectify us,Women's clothing is also made to waste our money on selling us cheap-ass garbage shit that breaks down faster than men's, so we pay more for new clothes more often than men, all while being paid less on the dollar than men!
YesYourNigel Got booted from another GC space when I argued that long hair takes much more upkeep, even if we only look at the time it takes to dry, let alone combing, products etc.Damn. I got long hair, and there's no way I could deny that it is heavy, it gets in the way, it takes REALLY LONG to dry, it's inconvenient, it takes more effort, etc. (and that's with me not even doing typical styling like hair products beyond just shampoo/conditioner).
YesYourNigel whereas these women think they're somehow brave and daring for just having the most milquetoast view that yes, women have vaginas. Have a fucking medal.lmao. fr.
YesYourNigel I remember seeing a picture of a confident butch desisted woman who was smiling and living her best life, even though she underwent masectomy. I wish more desisters understood that life isn't over just because you stop lying to yourself, or just because you were preyed on to damage your body. And esp that they're not somehow less female. The whole point is that it's impossible to change your femaleness. My heart sinks every time a "GC" or desisted woman caked in makeup, fake eyelashes, nails etc.Yeah... It is a lil' heart breaking when desisted/detrans women dive back into performative femininity. I hope they realize that... they don't have to do that and they're still 100% valid as women. But maybe their desire to "fit in", somewhere, anywhere, might be stronger than just being themselves. I hope they realize "woman is not a costume" applies to actual women just as much as it does to men who pretend to be women.
YesYourNigel They basically like the idea that brainsex is women being motherly and sth sth sacred femininityThis makes me
whenever I see it. It's like the Borax mixed with sugar used to kill ants. It's "so sweet" on the surface so it's easier to ingest while it rots out your guts and soul.komorebi (For anyone who has a similar problem, I highly recommend UNIQLO's men's EZY jeans! Sooo comfy, they feel like sweatpants.)Omg, we're pants buddies. I love Uniqlo men's jeans! Their men's skinny jeans. 💋👌 My pockets are so massive (I'm used to them now since I've been buying/wearing them for years, so much so that when I wear women's pants I get so angery over the small pockets lol.)