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Flipping Beauty the Bird - Printable Version +- clovenhooves (https://clovenhooves.org) +-- Forum: The Personal Is Political (https://clovenhooves.org/forumdisplay.php?fid=3) +--- Forum: Beauty Culture (https://clovenhooves.org/forumdisplay.php?fid=8) +--- Thread: Flipping Beauty the Bird (/showthread.php?tid=485) |
Flipping Beauty the Bird - Iota Aurigae - Dec 26 2024 https://rainyseason.substack.com/p/flipping-beauty-the-bird Quote:In the latter half of December 2021, I put down the razor for the final time. I stepped out of the shower, dried myself off. The sensation of my hairless legs felt strange against the pants I wore to bed that night. RE: Flipping Beauty the Bird - YesYourNigel - Dec 27 2024 Quote:Instead, my mom enlisted the help of a family friend to do my makeup and hair, and she went all out. I didn’t even recognize myself by the time she was done, and later that night, I cried as I tried to scrub it all off in the shower. Man, the only thing I could think of for this is how libfems would say "omg sounds like u have a boysoul! Have you ever considered you're twans?" Quote:I still feel sad when I look at that portrait in the yearbook. She isn’t me. She bears some resemblance to me, but she just isn’t. That's the creepy thing, isn't it? It's not about the woman, it's about how closely she can match this fictionalised idea of THE woman. It's so fictional that you need copious amounts of makeup, styling and even surgeries to even come close. Quote:This constant change of beauty standards is patriarchy and capitalism smashed together. It's surreal to see classical paintings or even art from a century ago and see women who look...relatively normal? And don't even shave. And then look at our society where women are no longer property, they can have jobs, they can vote, they're not locked up in houses etc. and yet the way they're depicted feels more at odds with reality and more incel-wet-dream-based than it's ever been. The commercial image of a woman, THE woman, is so artificial and unachievable that women are developing mental illnesses and reaching for fucking surgeries en masse, as well as spending every waking moment under layers upon layers of paint and chemicals. It's absolutely deranged. Even skin isn't allowed to look like skin anymore and has to look like rubber. I imagine it's precisely because women have more rights that more effort is exerted to compensate for it, along with technologies making people more and more stuck in la-la land. It's mighty convenient that every woman chooses to do the exact same thing that women have been forced into for centuries and, conveniently, that they have horrible fears and self-confidence issues to the point of developing mental illnesses and suffering actual negative societal consequences over it. But even beyond that, how is it possible that every single woman reinvented the exact identical feminine beauty standards for herself over and over again, complete with associated terror and insecurities over not achieving said beauty standard? What is the explanation for this? Because "I'm such a unique snowflake that I did it all by myself" would be a positively astronomical coincidence that simply doesn't fly. Libfems will paradoxically scoff at the notion that women evolved to be feminine while pretending like there's simply no explanation necessary for like 90% of women being this way. Not that evopsych is convincing - women couldn't have possibly evolved to shave, wear heels, makeup or long hair or require Photoshop filters just to look at themselves, things that are by no means universal nor even existed throughout human history. So what's the explanation, libfems? RE: Flipping Beauty the Bird - Yozakura - Feb 8 2025 Quote:Those beauty corporations will also sell you the solution to problems that they create. Makeup clogs pores, leading to acne. It’s no coincidence that, for example, Estée Lauder is the parent company that owns Mac (and other makeup brands), as well as the skincare brand Clinique. I wonder how many of these "create the problem and sell the solution" issues the beauty industry actually creates. My mother told me never to shave my legs because she used to have thin, barely noticeable leg hairs (same as I do now) but then she shaved them *once* and they grew back in big, black and noticeable, which she hated, so she felt like she had to keep shaving her legs constantly from then on. I don't know how accurate her story is, but since I share half of her genetics I figured I'd follow her advice. So far my leg hairs haven't changed from the way they've always been. Also, I can relate to the depiction in this story of feeling like you don't look like yourself with makeup on. When I was little I had dance recitals where I had to wear heavy makeup and I always thought it made me look like an alien... RE: Flipping Beauty the Bird - Shroom - Feb 8 2025 I'm so sorry your mother was the one who enforced feminine beauty standards onto you too, OP. Of course the ultimate blame and cause for it all lies with the men who made and uphold it, and of course mothers who do this are also suffering for following it, but it's a special kind of depressing when the last-and-only line of defense possible for you also fails you. And fails you when you're a child, meaning you both don't and can't know any better, and you've been raised to follow whatever your parents say. (It's honestly something I wish was talked about more in beauty-culture-critical/radfem spaces.) Good for you for not only snapping out of the routine but standing up for yourself when people tried to get you back into it! That takes a lot of courage and integrity, something we need to be supporting and modeling for other women and especially girls. (Dec 26 2024, 8:39 PM)Iota AurigaeQuote:I still feel sad when I look at that portrait in the yearbook. She isn’t me. She bears some resemblance to me, but she just isn’t. Yes this is the exact feeling I get when I see myself in makeup!! "That's not me." (And "this stuff takes way too long to put on and feels awful to have on my face all day" too haha.) How sad that it's so common for women to feel this way about something they're expected to do before being allowed to go outside, and how disturbing and depressing that we encourage women and girls to do this to the point they prefer a fake face to their own. (Feb 8 2025, 7:15 PM)Yozakura My mother told me never to shave my legs because she used to have thin, barely noticeable leg hairs (same as I do now) but then she shaved them *once* and they grew back in big, black and noticeable, which she hated, so she felt like she had to keep shaving her legs constantly from then on. I don't know how accurate her story is, but since I share half of her genetics I figured I'd follow her advice. So far my leg hairs haven't changed from the way they've always been. Take this with a grain of salt because I'm not sure how accurate this is, but the fact that our body hair that only grows in during puberty is noticeably darker and thicker than our body hair that's there from the start, I wonder if this is actually true. If our original body hair really is lighter and thinner because the hormone-induced effects on our hair during puberty hasn't kicked in yet, and once it does it affects all your hair follicles, but we didn't know until now because now we pressure women to shave off our initial hair en masse. I do know that when shaved hair first grows back it only appears darker/thicker because it was cut at an angle (so more surface area shows, from above a / looks like a - while a | looks like a . ) but I wouldn't be surprised if it actually was darker and thicker after fully growing out because of the above. Anecdotal experience but I can say I remember my body hair was thinner and lighter, even brown, before I shaved it (thanks, mom) and now it's black and thicker. Not that much thicker, but enough to be noticeable. RE: Flipping Beauty the Bird - Wandering_Feminist56 - Feb 10 2025 I've gone several years without shaving my legs because I thought to myself that the culture surrounding it is ridiculous. Obvious nonsense aside (such as the notion that it's unhygienic; they're just grasping at straws there) some people treat it as though it's some unsightly, contagious skin disease and offensively hideous, which to me became something to not adher to. School boys would snicker as my glorious dark leg hair waved in the wind. I had a guy chat me up and internally I laughed as I wondered when he'd notice, and as soon as he did he completely lost interest, cut off the conversation and scurried off. I then did shave for work. (reasons for that) But hey, maybe I should stop again. But I'm a massive hypocrite as I do still use makeup. Small steps. RE: Flipping Beauty the Bird - Elsacat - Feb 10 2025 I still shave and use makeup. Old habits die hard, and I just don't like the look or feel of having hairy legs or pits. I don't care what others do; it's about what I like for myself. All that aside, I wear less makeup and more rarely, and when I go without it for a while, putting it on makes me feel like I don't recognize myself, like I have stage makeup on, like I'm "fake". That's with a very minimal approach, too. If I decided to do "full face" for a fancy night out, I don't know if I'd recognize myself in the mirror. RE: Flipping Beauty the Bird - Shroom - Feb 12 2025 I've always found this radblr post to be a clever and insightful way of going about adjusting yourself out of performing feminine beauty standards*. "Reduce intensity, reduce frequency, reduce duration." *Should you want to—I always emphasize that the first step is that you have to want to in the first place. And for yourself too, not because someone else told you to. Otherwise you haven't yet escaped the mentality that got you started on following these standards in the first place. I also had an idea (which I actually posted in an Ovarit comment a while ago) for makeup specifically, where I wonder if starting a trend on Whatever Social Media Is Hip With The Kids (I'm pretty sure Tik Tok is the most popular so it would get the most exposure, but the issue it's fighting against is more prevalent on Instagram I think) where women and girls who regularly use "I have to put this on to be allowed to see myself in the mirror and go outside" makeup choose to paint it all on a mask and then wear it instead of putting it on their faces. Because technically, kind of, doing that still accomplishes the same "goal" of makeup, but having it be a literal mask separate from your face that you have to hide behind it makes you feel a certain way doesn't it? Also it protects their poor faces' pores from being caked in the stuff. But honestly, thinking up stuff to help counteract beauty rituals and judging whether they would actually work or not is really hard for me because I won the lottery and have never liked the vast majority of any of it from day one. I do still shave, but I do it much less often now. So, like, I can kind of say whatever I want here without knowing how effective or insightful it actually is, because I just am not on the same wavelength as most women on this specific thing. I defer to the experiences and knowledge of the women that beauty rituals are an actual struggle to stop doing. (Unnecessary TMI section but I very much think sharing how ""imperfect feminists"" we are does a lot more good than telling women to obey rules we don't even fully follow, and maybe there's another lady out there like me who will read this and feel seen: I only still shave because it's partially just a fact about reality that smooth skin feels different from skin with hair—even fully-grown-in not-prickly-stubble hair, there is a difference—and I happen to like that difference, and partially because for whatever reason my body hair naturally grows so long that it genuinely becomes painful to wear socks and anything long-sleeved that's not potato-sack-level-baggy because it gets pulled and twisted by them. Not knocking baggy clothes at all, they're my go-to favs, but it's just strange how not shaving for too long means I can't wear stuff that's still somewhat loose and not uncomfortable to wear whatsoever when I shave or my hair hasn't grown out too long yet.) RE: Flipping Beauty the Bird - Clover - Feb 12 2025 (Feb 12 2025, 3:52 PM)Shroom I've always found this radblr post to be a clever and insightful way of going about adjusting yourself out of performing feminine beauty standards*. "Reduce intensity, reduce frequency, reduce duration."That's a great post! RE: Flipping Beauty the Bird - ILoveKaleJustSoDangMuch - Feb 13 2025 (Feb 12 2025, 5:59 PM)Clover(Feb 12 2025, 3:52 PM)Shroom I've always found this radblr post to be a clever and insightful way of going about adjusting yourself out of performing feminine beauty standards*. "Reduce intensity, reduce frequency, reduce duration."That's a great post! I agree! I never thought about it the way the radblr post author stated it, but that makes a lot of sense. I'm a lot like @Shroom in that I never cared a ton for beauty rituals either, and as somebody who's worked from home for most of my career (10 yrs now, so definitely before it was as common as it is today), I think my day-to-day work life has insulated me from feeling pressure to opt into things like makeup and shaving. Maybe I'd feel differently if this weren't the case. |