BigFatBlackCat I finally made myself watch it. I didn’t want to because:

- I’m sick of how American media exploits pretty young women who go missing

- I resent that only white women get this attention

- I felt like I already lived through the story as it happened in real time, why do I need to watch a show about it?

I’m really glad I watched it now. It was a good reminder not just for myself but as a person with women friends and family members, to not dismiss bad behavior from men.

I believe this series will help many women realize they need to leave a bad relationship, and will prevent many women from entering long term relationships that could end up dangerous.

One of the most enlightening parts was the cop body cam footage from Utah. You get a really good glimpse into how woefully unprepared and untrained cops are when it comes to domestic violence.

I no longer see her story as one of exploitation but rather a powerful message that every woman needs to hear.

Even if you don’t think you’ll ever be in this situation, you may end up knowing someone who is. If I had teenage daughters, I would insist they watch this to understand how abusive relationships can look.

Please watch, please encourage women to watch.

And don’t ever forget that men don’t die from women the way women die from men.

Sherd_nerd_17 Augh. I teach college, and *just yesterday* one of my female students shared that her boyfriend put AirTags on her car (she dumped him, hallelujah).

[edit: the dumping came *after* the AirTag incident, and she factory reset them and kept them, bc she’s fabulous]

I regularly discover that my immensely intelligent, incredible female students have horrific dating partners. They’re *always* possessive, and get butthurt over perceived “slights” such as: her not paying enough attn to him; wanting to continue her education in a different town; not wanting to get married/settled down immediately, and more.

One “boyfriend” even came *to my office hours* to argue about something that I taught his partner that he didn’t like. He is not my student. I don’t even know if he attended our school. But there he was, in my office, trying to argue with me that I was wrong about something in a field that I have a PhD in. The topic had to do with misinformation about- you guessed it- male “dominance” - in nonhuman primate species.

It brings up very vivid memories of my own dating life, lol. My student yesterday said, “this generation, I swear…”- and I had to stop her and tell her that I experienced much the same twenty years ago. Whatever is wrong with dudes has been wrong for some time.

BigFatBlackCat I think we as women really need to spread awareness amongst ourselves that there is a type of man out there who is so insecure they will make it their life’s mission to tear a woman down in every big and small way.

They get us because they get us to care about them first. And then little by little, they chip away at us.

These men carry huge voids inside them, and they use whatever woman they can find to fill it. Sometimes they use many women to fill it. And we fall for it because we care about them and want to help them.

(Mar 22 2025, 12:44 AM)drdee I wish we could transfer this knowledge from older women (who've been through this) to younger women. It may be happening, at least a little - I think FDS is doing the lord's work here. And our next book club book is Hags - will be interested to hear how the younger women process it.