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+---- Thread: why has sexual choking become so prevalent among young people? (/showthread.php?tid=870)
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why has sexual choking become so prevalent among young people? - Fortherecord - Mar 24 2025
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/sep/02/i-think-its-natural-why-has-sexual-choking-become-so-prevalent-among-young-people
RE: why has sexual choking become so prevalent among young people? - VerdantHorizon - Mar 24 2025
Every now and then I think about dating again, and then I remember that before sleeping with any man I would have to explicitly tell him "I do not want you to strangle me" because otherwise there's a good chance he'll do it without asking, even if he seems like a kind man up till that point. I know from my friends who date that it's just expected at this point, at least in our area and age group, and treated the same as nonviolent sex acts.
Society is just really broken if being violent with your sex partner is just status quo.
edit because I wasn't done reading the article
Quote:“It kind of feels like a very ultimate form of intimacy, in the way that someone actually genuinely trusts you with their life,” he says.
RE: why has sexual choking become so prevalent among young people? - Feministunderyrbed - Mar 24 2025
I read a sex scene in a book (Fiona and Jane by Jean Ho) where choking/strangling was weirdly tender, not violent or confrontational, just the man cutting off the woman’s breath to heighten her pleasure. It’s still dumb and I wouldn’t do it, but it gave me a different perspective on how people who do it see it.
RE: why has sexual choking become so prevalent among young people? - YesYourNigel - Mar 24 2025
(Mar 24 2025, 1:03 PM)VerdantHorizon edit because I wasn't done reading the articlelol I feel men like this just parrot what women say to cover their asses - like with BDSM where women wax philisophical about how "intimate" and "trusting" it is and how incredibly important it is for consent, whereas men are just jerking each other off to slurs. Men are just so unconcerned with the deeper emotional aspects of it that women project onto it unless they need to make themselves seem less sus to draw in more victims.
Quote:“It kind of feels like a very ultimate form of intimacy, in the way that someone actually genuinely trusts you with their life,” he says.
RE: why has sexual choking become so prevalent among young people? - Puffin - Mar 26 2025
(Mar 24 2025, 5:49 PM)Feministunderyrbed I read a sex scene in a book (Fiona and Jane by Jean Ho) where choking/strangling was weirdly tender, not violent or confrontational, just the man cutting off the woman’s breath to heighten her pleasure. It’s still dumb and I wouldn’t do it, but it gave me a different perspective on how people who do it see it.
Tender strangulation is an oxymoron. It's not like men are some alien species who don't know humans need oxygen to survive, they know what strangulation is, they know they're playing chicken with death. There are 100 other ways to heighten a woman's pleasure that don't involve risking her life. I don't see how cutting off someone's oxygen supply can be anything but violent.
RE: why has sexual choking become so prevalent among young people? - Clover - Mar 26 2025
(Mar 26 2025, 12:45 PM)Puffin(Mar 24 2025, 5:49 PM)Feministunderyrbed I read a sex scene in a book (Fiona and Jane by Jean Ho) where choking/strangling was weirdly tender, not violent or confrontational, just the man cutting off the woman’s breath to heighten her pleasure. It’s still dumb and I wouldn’t do it, but it gave me a different perspective on how people who do it see it.
Tender strangulation is an oxymoron. It's not like men are some alien species who don't know humans need oxygen to survive, they know what strangulation is, they know they're playing chicken with death. There are 100 other ways to heighten a woman's pleasure that don't involve risking her life. I don't see how cutting off someone's oxygen supply can be anything but violent.
This. Might as well talk about "tender assault" or "tender murder." Romanticizing sexual violence appears to happen a decent amount in novels. Doesn't make it actually justifiable.
Why is society sexualizing strangulation? Why is society wanting women to think strangulation is arousing or sexually desirable? It takes one of the most telltale signs that a man might murder a female domestic partner and turning it into "kink." The glamorization of violent kinks is Rohypnol to sedate us to our violently misogynistic society.
RE: why has sexual choking become so prevalent among young people? - YesYourNigel - Mar 26 2025
(Mar 26 2025, 12:45 PM)PuffinI know nothing about this kink but does the way it's practiced actually involve cutting off oxygen supply? I always thought it's just grabbing a person's neck, but not literally suffocating them (though obviously it's easy for it to escalate to the latter).(Mar 24 2025, 5:49 PM)Feministunderyrbed I read a sex scene in a book (Fiona and Jane by Jean Ho) where choking/strangling was weirdly tender, not violent or confrontational, just the man cutting off the woman’s breath to heighten her pleasure. It’s still dumb and I wouldn’t do it, but it gave me a different perspective on how people who do it see it.
Tender strangulation is an oxymoron. It's not like men are some alien species who don't know humans need oxygen to survive, they know what strangulation is, they know they're playing chicken with death. There are 100 other ways to heighten a woman's pleasure that don't involve risking her life. I don't see how cutting off someone's oxygen supply can be anything but violent.
Regarding what the other person said, women tend to romanticise male violence over them as "trust" and "vulnerability", which men don't understand. They either don't understand the appeal of the kink but do it anyway because the woman has talked them into it due to aforementioned romanticised and normalised ideas about male violence and for men it's just another patriarchal sex act that isn't that different from the degrading misogynistic porn shit that they jerk off to on the daily. Or they "understand" it from the POV of violence over women getting them off.
Women will wax poetical til the cows come home about how deep and philosophical being abused by men is and how much respect that demands from your partner, and meanwhile men will just jerk off to slurs. Women lie to themselves against all evidence that men see them as human beings and that all the misogynistic acts are just playing around when in reality men see women exclusively from that misogynistic POV and all the other non-sexual/human aspects of a woman are either getting in the way of obtaining sex, or heightening the appeal due to the Madonna-wh*re complex.
RE: why has sexual choking become so prevalent among young people? - Sunny - Mar 27 2025
(Mar 26 2025, 6:03 PM)YesYourNigel I know nothing about this kink but does the way it's practiced actually involve cutting off oxygen supply? I always thought it's just grabbing a person's neck, but not literally suffocating them (though obviously it's easy for it to escalate to the latter).
Men lie about all kinds of things to bed women, from their values to sti status to how many partners they have, and this is a huge one I encountered before I stopped dating men. I had sexual encounters with 43 men in a year span in 2020 and the statistics I can give from that period are chilling.
It was horrifying the amount of guys that bought into bdsm but had no idea how to dom "properly", didn't know how to "safely strangle" me, would beat me in places that could have ruptured internal organs, etc. I was sold a fantasy where I would have a special place and be a special girl and he would know just how to treat me bc "real doms" aren't like the shitty ones women warn other women about! I just hadn't found the right one! And out of those 43 men I can report that not a single one knew shit, even ones who were supposedly veterans of the lifestyle. They all were more than happy to throw out the safety rules, to take away safe words, to refuse to bond with me as I was told was necessary. It's just lies to get women into bed, like so much else they do.
RE: why has sexual choking become so prevalent among young people? - Feministunderyrbed - Mar 29 2025
The last thing I want to do is promote strangulation, but I think men have a history of self-strangulation while masturbating, to the point that some men have accidentally hanged themselves (e.g. Michael Hutchence, the singer from 1980’s band INXS). Supposedly the oxygen deprivation heightens something something, I don’t want to go into it any further. I’m sure some men like choking because they like the idea of (nearly, lol) killing a woman. But I can still see some of it as just another dangerous sexual practice.
RE: why has sexual choking become so prevalent among young people? - wormwood - Mar 29 2025
Autoerotic strangulation is a real thing some men do.
And the eroticising of male violence against women is a thing patriarchy does, so I’m not surprised there’s tender choking in a novel.
I stopped dating too long ago to have experienced this, but it’s a porn thing, right? Porn shows women being choked because porn gets more violent the more its audience gets jaded, because it’s a hell of symbol of male domination, because it’s visually compelling. And as porn becomes ubiquitous, as, what, two generations now learn their sexual vocabulary from porn, what had been rare becomes common.