"Men Cause 100% of Unwanted Pregnancies"

clovenhooves The Personal Is Political Reproductive Rights Article "Men Cause 100% of Unwanted Pregnancies"

Article "Men Cause 100% of Unwanted Pregnancies"

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komorebi
“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

240

Jan 20 2025, 1:03 PM

Men Cause 100% of Unwanted Pregnancies (archive link), Gabrielle Blair on Medium, Sep 24, 2018 (original link)
Our conversation about abortion places the burden of responsibility on women. I argue men are the root cause.

Quote:If you want to prevent abortion, you need to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Men seem unable (or unwilling) to admit that they cause 100% of them.

Quote:As a society, we really don’t mind if women suffer, physically or mentally, as long as it makes things easier for men.

I've always liked this article. (It surprises me a bit that it was written by a Mormon woman, as I thought that Mormons were generally anti-abortion.)

komorebi

“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

Jan 20 2025, 1:03 PM #1

Quote:If you want to prevent abortion, you need to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Men seem unable (or unwilling) to admit that they cause 100% of them.

Quote:As a society, we really don’t mind if women suffer, physically or mentally, as long as it makes things easier for men.

I've always liked this article. (It surprises me a bit that it was written by a Mormon woman, as I thought that Mormons were generally anti-abortion.)

YesYourNigel

117

Feb 1 2025, 2:16 PM

This is such a good article!

Quote:we’ve trained men from birth to disassociate sex and pregnancy.

That's also a massive way in which ✌️"sexual liberation"✌️(of men's dicks) has screwed women over: it started portraying sex as this super casual, inconsequential thing because men wanted it to be that way. Christianity at least recognised PiV for the reproductive act that it is, though heaven forbid they actually let go of this being the only acceptable way to have sex.
It's like how Islam hates women being seductive and distracting with their hair, but also still demands that women be conventionally attractive. There's a reason why they have to veil, and not shave their heads, or draw silly moustache and missing teeth on themselves.

Quote:A woman’s orgasm has literally nothing to do with pregnancy or fertility — her clitoris exists simply for pleasure, not for creating new humans.

NORMALISE OUTERCOURSE! ✊️
I am fully concinced that, if women hadn't been conditioned to see PiV as a norm, that very few of them would care about it to the degree that they do now. The risks and inconvenience just aren't worth it. Also, our clits are on the outside so it's absurd that the standard isn't penis&clit sex rather than PiV (or even P&V). PiV should be treated as a risky kink, not a norm. If men decided tomorrow that they'd never want to deal with the risks of PiV, women would fall in line because women's preferences are defined in response to male ones, both due to the patriarchy and women actually giving a shit about their partners instead of seeing them merely as the closest real-life approximation of a bangmaid.

Quote:Vasectomies are very safe, highly reversible, and about as invasive as a woman getting an IUD implanted

Actually less invasive given that women don't even get pain relief despite overwhelmingly experiencing pain from it.

Edited Feb 1 2025, 7:40 PM by YesYourNigel.

I refuse to debate two obvious facts: 1. the patriarchy exists 2. and that's a bad thing

YesYourNigel

Feb 1 2025, 2:16 PM #2

This is such a good article!

Quote:we’ve trained men from birth to disassociate sex and pregnancy.

Quote:A woman’s orgasm has literally nothing to do with pregnancy or fertility — her clitoris exists simply for pleasure, not for creating new humans.

Quote:Vasectomies are very safe, highly reversible, and about as invasive as a woman getting an IUD implanted

Actually less invasive given that women don't even get pain relief despite overwhelmingly experiencing pain from it.

I refuse to debate two obvious facts: 1. the patriarchy exists 2. and that's a bad thing

ShameMustChangeSides

Feb 5 2025, 9:13 PM

(Jan 20 2025, 1:03 PM)komorebi Men Cause 100% of Unwanted Pregnancies (archive link), Gabrielle Blair on Medium, Sep 24, 2018 (original link)
Our conversation about abortion places the burden of responsibility on women. I argue men are the root cause.

Quote:If you want to prevent abortion, you need to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Men seem unable (or unwilling) to admit that they cause 100% of them.

Quote:As a society, we really don’t mind if women suffer, physically or mentally, as long as it makes things easier for men.

I've always liked this article. (It surprises me a bit that it was written by a Mormon woman, as I thought that Mormons were generally anti-abortion.)

I've noticed something with Mormon women though. They look at the world around them (school, sports, friend groups) and then go back and experience the much more heavily patriarchal structure of church, and the older they get the more stark this contrast seems. A woman usually responds in two ways: patriarchy is divinely-instituted so she must cling to it harder, or it is flawed and it feels unfair so she questions it. Sometimes this can result in some good (though often very slow over the course of years) analysis. I think that's likely what happened for Blair. Mormon women are told to be chaste and not tempt men, but be sexy so you can get a good husband and keep him, and men can't control themselves so whatever happens is on the woman, but don't forget that everyone has "agency" so you make your choices freely and so does he but not really.

ShameMustChangeSides

Feb 5 2025, 9:13 PM #3

(Jan 20 2025, 1:03 PM)komorebi Men Cause 100% of Unwanted Pregnancies (archive link), Gabrielle Blair on Medium, Sep 24, 2018 (original link)
Our conversation about abortion places the burden of responsibility on women. I argue men are the root cause.

Quote:If you want to prevent abortion, you need to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Men seem unable (or unwilling) to admit that they cause 100% of them.

Quote:As a society, we really don’t mind if women suffer, physically or mentally, as long as it makes things easier for men.

I've always liked this article. (It surprises me a bit that it was written by a Mormon woman, as I thought that Mormons were generally anti-abortion.)

komorebi
“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

240

Feb 7 2025, 1:57 PM

(Feb 5 2025, 9:13 PM)ShameMustChangeSides I've noticed something with Mormon women though. They look at the world around them (school, sports, friend groups) and then go back and experience the much more heavily patriarchal structure of church, and the older they get the more stark this contrast seems. A woman usually responds in two ways: patriarchy is divinely-instituted so she must cling to it harder, or it is flawed and it feels unfair so she questions it. Sometimes this can result in some good (though often very slow over the course of years) analysis. I think that's likely what happened for Blair. Mormon women are told to be chaste and not tempt men, but be sexy so you can get a good husband and keep him, and men can't control themselves so whatever happens is on the woman, but don't forget that everyone has "agency" so you make your choices freely and so does he but not really.

I'm not that familiar with Mormonism, so thanks for the illuminating context! I think that all makes sense.

komorebi

“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

Feb 7 2025, 1:57 PM #4

(Feb 5 2025, 9:13 PM)ShameMustChangeSides I've noticed something with Mormon women though. They look at the world around them (school, sports, friend groups) and then go back and experience the much more heavily patriarchal structure of church, and the older they get the more stark this contrast seems. A woman usually responds in two ways: patriarchy is divinely-instituted so she must cling to it harder, or it is flawed and it feels unfair so she questions it. Sometimes this can result in some good (though often very slow over the course of years) analysis. I think that's likely what happened for Blair. Mormon women are told to be chaste and not tempt men, but be sexy so you can get a good husband and keep him, and men can't control themselves so whatever happens is on the woman, but don't forget that everyone has "agency" so you make your choices freely and so does he but not really.

I'm not that familiar with Mormonism, so thanks for the illuminating context! I think that all makes sense.

Clover
Kozlik's regular account 🍀🐐

663

Feb 7 2025, 3:23 PM

My partner is ex-Mormon, and I've visited his family in Utah (Mormon land), and I can confirm there is this sickening and strange expectation that Mormon women be absolutely beautiful. I saw a billboards all over the place for mommy makeovers, tummy tucks, facial plastic surgery, making your teeth look perfectly white and straight, etc.

I remember reading an article or a post or something that talked about how there are way more Mormon women than there are men, and I think the issue is that in Mormonism, to get to the "highest tier" of Mormon heaven (that's a whole 'nother topic lmao), you need to be married and "sealed" at a Mormon temple (and have children of course). So, all these Mormon women who are brainwashed into this cult are worried about the scarcity of Mormon men because I guess they won't be able to get to ultra high level heaven (?!), thus causing some sort of race to the bottom of trying to be "the most beautiful" Mormon woman in order to be able to get a Mormon husband. It's all gross and sad.

Edited Feb 7 2025, 3:24 PM by Clover.

Clover

Kozlik's regular account 🍀🐐

Feb 7 2025, 3:23 PM #5

ShameMustChangeSides

Feb 7 2025, 4:11 PM

(Feb 7 2025, 3:23 PM)Clover My partner is ex-Mormon, and I've visited his family in Utah (Mormon land), and I can confirm there is this sickening and strange expectation that Mormon women be absolutely beautiful. I saw a billboards all over the place for mommy makeovers, tummy tucks, facial plastic surgery, making your teeth look perfectly white and straight, etc.

I remember reading an article or a post or something that talked about how there are way more Mormon women than there are men, and I think the issue is that in Mormonism, to get to the "highest tier" of Mormon heaven (that's a whole 'nother topic lmao), you need to be married and "sealed" at a Mormon temple (and have children of course). So, all these Mormon women who are brainwashed into this cult are worried about the scarcity of Mormon men because I guess they won't be able to get to ultra high level heaven (?!), thus causing some sort of race to the bottom of trying to be "the most beautiful" Mormon woman in order to be able to get a Mormon husband. It's all gross and sad.

Yep, you are 100% correct. The only way for women to access God in Mormonism is through a male intermediary, through a spouse or local clergy leader, which is just some other Mormon dude from your community. Might be your dentist or local mechanic. Can't go to the highest heaven without a Mormon marriage to a "righteous man," either, like you said. And ask me how righteous any of them really are when, at best, they're benevolent sexists and at worst, see women as sex objects and servants. They're so fixated on not drinking coffee and not saying "oh my God" to actually be good people.

ShameMustChangeSides

Feb 7 2025, 4:11 PM #6

(Feb 7 2025, 3:23 PM)Clover My partner is ex-Mormon, and I've visited his family in Utah (Mormon land), and I can confirm there is this sickening and strange expectation that Mormon women be absolutely beautiful. I saw a billboards all over the place for mommy makeovers, tummy tucks, facial plastic surgery, making your teeth look perfectly white and straight, etc.

I remember reading an article or a post or something that talked about how there are way more Mormon women than there are men, and I think the issue is that in Mormonism, to get to the "highest tier" of Mormon heaven (that's a whole 'nother topic lmao), you need to be married and "sealed" at a Mormon temple (and have children of course). So, all these Mormon women who are brainwashed into this cult are worried about the scarcity of Mormon men because I guess they won't be able to get to ultra high level heaven (?!), thus causing some sort of race to the bottom of trying to be "the most beautiful" Mormon woman in order to be able to get a Mormon husband. It's all gross and sad.

periwinkle

Feb 7 2025, 9:42 PM

ShameMustChangeSides Yep, you are 100% correct. The only way for women to access God in Mormonism is through a male intermediary, through a spouse or local clergy leader, which is just some other Mormon dude from your community. Might be your dentist or local mechanic. Can't go to the highest heaven without a Mormon marriage to a "righteous man," either, like you said. And ask me how righteous any of them really are when, at best, they're benevolent sexists and at worst, see women as sex objects and servants. They're so fixated on not drinking coffee and not saying "oh my God" to actually be good people.

Wow, I hate this so much. Male religions are so deeply fucked up.

periwinkle

Feb 7 2025, 9:42 PM #7

ShameMustChangeSides Yep, you are 100% correct. The only way for women to access God in Mormonism is through a male intermediary, through a spouse or local clergy leader, which is just some other Mormon dude from your community. Might be your dentist or local mechanic. Can't go to the highest heaven without a Mormon marriage to a "righteous man," either, like you said. And ask me how righteous any of them really are when, at best, they're benevolent sexists and at worst, see women as sex objects and servants. They're so fixated on not drinking coffee and not saying "oh my God" to actually be good people.

Wow, I hate this so much. Male religions are so deeply fucked up.

ShameMustChangeSides

Feb 7 2025, 9:48 PM

(Feb 7 2025, 9:42 PM)periwinkle
ShameMustChangeSides Yep, you are 100% correct. The only way for women to access God in Mormonism is through a male intermediary, through a spouse or local clergy leader, which is just some other Mormon dude from your community. Might be your dentist or local mechanic. Can't go to the highest heaven without a Mormon marriage to a "righteous man," either, like you said. And ask me how righteous any of them really are when, at best, they're benevolent sexists and at worst, see women as sex objects and servants. They're so fixated on not drinking coffee and not saying "oh my God" to actually be good people.

Wow, I hate this so much. Male religions are so deeply fucked up.

Mormonism is a uniquely American crystallization of patriarchal religion. It's hard not to see it in every other religion once you see it there, it's such a blatant example.

ShameMustChangeSides

Feb 7 2025, 9:48 PM #8

(Feb 7 2025, 9:42 PM)periwinkle
ShameMustChangeSides Yep, you are 100% correct. The only way for women to access God in Mormonism is through a male intermediary, through a spouse or local clergy leader, which is just some other Mormon dude from your community. Might be your dentist or local mechanic. Can't go to the highest heaven without a Mormon marriage to a "righteous man," either, like you said. And ask me how righteous any of them really are when, at best, they're benevolent sexists and at worst, see women as sex objects and servants. They're so fixated on not drinking coffee and not saying "oh my God" to actually be good people.

Wow, I hate this so much. Male religions are so deeply fucked up.

Mormonism is a uniquely American crystallization of patriarchal religion. It's hard not to see it in every other religion once you see it there, it's such a blatant example.

YesYourNigel

117

Feb 11 2025, 3:26 PM

I feel like sometimes traditional religious women will have surprisingly feminist takes, but usually it's superficial and motivated by Madonna-wh*re dichotomies where violence and rape are bad not for beong bad, but when they're targeted at "good" women.

Also sometimes they try to apply at least part of religious purity and morality culture to men in order to realise the fairy tale of a loyal, morally upstanding religious husband, not realising that fellow religious men don't give a shit about playing along with that. Men are in it to control and exploit women, not to limit their own rise to power and sense of supremacism.

I had no idea about this Mormonism thing, and it absolutely sounds fucked up. I wonder why women are more attracted to it. Is it just the usual patriarchal brainwashing making them more vulnerable to religious authority? Or is it uniquely more attractive to them than other sects? Alternatively, is it unrelated to female numbership and instead due to being uniquely offputting to men compared to other sects? Like if female membership remains static but male drops, it would still look like women are more attracted to it, when it's really just that men are less attracted to it, woth no effect on female membership.

Edited Feb 11 2025, 3:35 PM by YesYourNigel.

I refuse to debate two obvious facts: 1. the patriarchy exists 2. and that's a bad thing

YesYourNigel

Feb 11 2025, 3:26 PM #9

I refuse to debate two obvious facts: 1. the patriarchy exists 2. and that's a bad thing

ShameMustChangeSides

Feb 11 2025, 4:32 PM

#10

(Feb 11 2025, 3:26 PM)YesYourNigel I feel like sometimes traditional religious women will have surprisingly feminist takes, but usually it's superficial and motivated by Madonna-wh*re dichotomies where violence and rape are bad not for beong bad, but when they're targeted at "good" women.

Also sometimes they try to apply at least part of religious purity and morality culture to men in order to realise the fairy tale of a loyal, morally upstanding religious husband, not realising that fellow religious men don't give a shit about playing along with that. Men are in it to control and exploit women, not to limit their own rise to power and sense of supremacism.

I had no idea about this Mormonism thing, and it absolutely sounds fucked up. I wonder why women are more attracted to it. Is it just the usual patriarchal brainwashing making them more vulnerable to religious authority? Or is it uniquely more attractive to them than other sects? Alternatively, is it unrelated to female numbership and instead due to being uniquely offputting to men compared to other sects? Like if female membership remains static but male drops, it would still look like women are more attracted to it, when it's really just that men are less attracted to it, woth no effect on female membership.

The Mormon church fudges a lot of their membership and growth numbers to boost members' faith that it really is "the one true church."

Most women who are in it were raised in it, and for those who convert, the aspects that are highly emphasized are the family friendliness. That is what appeals to most people who weren't raised in the faith. Mormonism puts on a very pleasant face to prospective tithe-payers, and only those who dig a bit find the ugly underneath.

Anymore, most converts are from poor countries that are already pretty patriarchal anyway.

ShameMustChangeSides

Feb 11 2025, 4:32 PM #10

(Feb 11 2025, 3:26 PM)YesYourNigel I feel like sometimes traditional religious women will have surprisingly feminist takes, but usually it's superficial and motivated by Madonna-wh*re dichotomies where violence and rape are bad not for beong bad, but when they're targeted at "good" women.

Also sometimes they try to apply at least part of religious purity and morality culture to men in order to realise the fairy tale of a loyal, morally upstanding religious husband, not realising that fellow religious men don't give a shit about playing along with that. Men are in it to control and exploit women, not to limit their own rise to power and sense of supremacism.

I had no idea about this Mormonism thing, and it absolutely sounds fucked up. I wonder why women are more attracted to it. Is it just the usual patriarchal brainwashing making them more vulnerable to religious authority? Or is it uniquely more attractive to them than other sects? Alternatively, is it unrelated to female numbership and instead due to being uniquely offputting to men compared to other sects? Like if female membership remains static but male drops, it would still look like women are more attracted to it, when it's really just that men are less attracted to it, woth no effect on female membership.

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