The Trans Kid That Should've Been Protected

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Article The Trans Kid That Should've Been Protected

Elsacat

274

Yesterday, 7:38 AM

https://oakleafdreams.substack.com/p/the-trans-kid-that-shouldve-been

I saw this posted on Ovarit and read it. What a heartbreaking story, probably the best first-hand account I've ever seen of not only getting into the trans cult and the difficulty leaving it, but about what led this woman to her transition in the first place. Anyone with an interest in why girls and women would transition should read it, even though she only speaks for herself. I hope everyone who reads it doesn't just focus on "of course she got into the trans cult, she was finding trans people online! and in school support groups!" It started long before she was online or in environments with in-person trans support.

I hope readers really think about what this woman's early life was like, the homophobia, misogyny, and male violence that made her feel like she couldn't be a girl. I hope readers also really think about what it was like for her after she finally found her place with women who could love and appreciate her as she is.

There's a place in hell for her family, especially her father, and there are so many families like that today, smug in their red state, Fox News households thinking that no dykes or f@ggots or tr@nnies will be allowed any more. When the pendulum eventually swings back away from conservatism, we're setting up to have a new explosion of trans youth. The only way out of this is NOT just "keep kids away from the trans cult"; it's making sure they never feel like they have to turn to any cult in the first place. And if it hadn't been trans, it would have been something else for this woman, some other cult or cult-adjacent group that would lovebomb and welcome her.

Let kids be gender nonconforming and lesbian/gay, if that's who they are. Be good parents. Stop making womanhood look like a prison. And stop abusing and bullying your kids, for god's or someone's sake. For the kids' sake.

Elsacat

Yesterday, 7:38 AM #1

komorebi
“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

347

Yesterday, 6:28 PM

This was such a harrowing, incredible read. I kept having to take breaks and come back to it later. I'd like to quote one part of it here, because it touched me deeply:

Quote:Now, I wish trans people would dare to accept themselves, as they are, and realize that they are not the problem, the way society is structured is the problem. I want them to know that no one is born incorrectly. No life is incorrect. No body must be reshaped to be an authentic expression of the self, nor is transitioning a rebellion from the gender binary: that is a lie that we have been told in the interest of upholding patriarchal standards of manhood and womanhood, and the ulterior goal behind such standards is to maintain and expand patriarchal power. When feminine men can't be men, and masculine women can't be women, who benefits? Patriarchy does. Gender roles keep everyone in line. If a feminine man maintains his identity as a man (rather than transitioning to a trans woman), the male sex is emasculated, and in patriarchal terms, disempowered, because the masculine is viewed as more powerful than the feminine; the most disempowering state of being is femininity, as women are seen as mere sexual objects. The gender-non-conforming male must be punished and exiled from his brethren. If a masculine woman maintains her identity as a woman (rather than transitioning to a trans man), she loses her use in patriarchal society, as her use as a woman hinges upon her sexual objectification and servitude to male power. The gender-non-conforming woman must be punished and exiled into inhumanity, relating to no one. Gender non-conforming people are a threat to patriarchal power because we rebel against social coercion and conditioning. Of course we would be encouraged to transition! It's a brilliant method to silence us, busy us, while the world goes on as it's been for millenia! These standards of gender roles hurt everyone. I wish society allowed us all to express ourselves as we wish while keeping biological fact intact: I dream of the abolition of gender roles, I dream of a world where no one wants to transition. I dream of a world where the healthcare system doesn't make billions of dollars each year by exploiting the insecurities of gender-non-conforming people through medical experimentation (with hidden health complications) marketed as life saving, gender affirming care. Transgender healthcare (if you can even call it that) is a criminal deception on a massive scale, driven by greed and patriarchal power. The only way that society will change for the better is if we make it that way. It produces much more social change to reject the rigid, unfair gender roles thrust upon us by our birth sex and express ourselves as we feel, rather than reinforce gender roles by transitioning. Because when you transition, you perpetuate the idea that feminine=woman, and masculine=man, and that simply isn't true, nor has it ever been. A woman is a female, a man is a male, and there's nothing that should tell us what to say, how to act, what clothes to wear or who to love. In my personal opinion, going down the arduous and honorable path of radical self-acceptance is the most important work anyone can do. Self-acceptance is a much more rewarding and worthwhile task, rather than changing yourself into something more palatable within our society and within your own perspective. Self-acceptance leads to a fuller, richer, more authentically joyful life.

komorebi

“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

Yesterday, 6:28 PM #2

This was such a harrowing, incredible read. I kept having to take breaks and come back to it later. I'd like to quote one part of it here, because it touched me deeply:

Quote:Now, I wish trans people would dare to accept themselves, as they are, and realize that they are not the problem, the way society is structured is the problem. I want them to know that no one is born incorrectly. No life is incorrect. No body must be reshaped to be an authentic expression of the self, nor is transitioning a rebellion from the gender binary: that is a lie that we have been told in the interest of upholding patriarchal standards of manhood and womanhood, and the ulterior goal behind such standards is to maintain and expand patriarchal power. When feminine men can't be men, and masculine women can't be women, who benefits? Patriarchy does. Gender roles keep everyone in line. If a feminine man maintains his identity as a man (rather than transitioning to a trans woman), the male sex is emasculated, and in patriarchal terms, disempowered, because the masculine is viewed as more powerful than the feminine; the most disempowering state of being is femininity, as women are seen as mere sexual objects. The gender-non-conforming male must be punished and exiled from his brethren. If a masculine woman maintains her identity as a woman (rather than transitioning to a trans man), she loses her use in patriarchal society, as her use as a woman hinges upon her sexual objectification and servitude to male power. The gender-non-conforming woman must be punished and exiled into inhumanity, relating to no one. Gender non-conforming people are a threat to patriarchal power because we rebel against social coercion and conditioning. Of course we would be encouraged to transition! It's a brilliant method to silence us, busy us, while the world goes on as it's been for millenia! These standards of gender roles hurt everyone. I wish society allowed us all to express ourselves as we wish while keeping biological fact intact: I dream of the abolition of gender roles, I dream of a world where no one wants to transition. I dream of a world where the healthcare system doesn't make billions of dollars each year by exploiting the insecurities of gender-non-conforming people through medical experimentation (with hidden health complications) marketed as life saving, gender affirming care. Transgender healthcare (if you can even call it that) is a criminal deception on a massive scale, driven by greed and patriarchal power. The only way that society will change for the better is if we make it that way. It produces much more social change to reject the rigid, unfair gender roles thrust upon us by our birth sex and express ourselves as we feel, rather than reinforce gender roles by transitioning. Because when you transition, you perpetuate the idea that feminine=woman, and masculine=man, and that simply isn't true, nor has it ever been. A woman is a female, a man is a male, and there's nothing that should tell us what to say, how to act, what clothes to wear or who to love. In my personal opinion, going down the arduous and honorable path of radical self-acceptance is the most important work anyone can do. Self-acceptance is a much more rewarding and worthwhile task, rather than changing yourself into something more palatable within our society and within your own perspective. Self-acceptance leads to a fuller, richer, more authentically joyful life.

VerdantHorizon

11 hours ago

Quote:I had to mourn the woman I could never be: that heterosexual, obedient ingénue. I will never know the woman I would’ve grown up to be had I never been medicalized. What would she look like naturally, if there was never any medical intervention? What would she sound like? Who would she be? Happy and whole? Unlike me?

This whole thing is heartbreaking, but this line in particular hurts to read :(

Quote:When feminine men can't be men, and masculine women can't be women, who benefits? Patriarchy does. Gender roles keep everyone in line.

And this is a line I wish a lot of people would read.

VerdantHorizon

11 hours ago #3

Quote:I had to mourn the woman I could never be: that heterosexual, obedient ingénue. I will never know the woman I would’ve grown up to be had I never been medicalized. What would she look like naturally, if there was never any medical intervention? What would she sound like? Who would she be? Happy and whole? Unlike me?

This whole thing is heartbreaking, but this line in particular hurts to read :(

Quote:When feminine men can't be men, and masculine women can't be women, who benefits? Patriarchy does. Gender roles keep everyone in line.

And this is a line I wish a lot of people would read.

Wandering_Feminist56

6 hours ago

(Yesterday, 7:38 AM)Elsacat https://oakleafdreams.substack.com/p/the-trans-kid-that-shouldve-been

I hope readers really think about what this woman's early life was like, the homophobia, misogyny, and male violence that made her feel like she couldn't be a girl. I hope readers also really think about what it was like for her after she finally found her place with women who could love and appreciate her as she is.

There's a place in hell for her family, especially her father, and there are so many families like that today, smug in their red state, Fox News households thinking that no dykes or f@ggots or tr@nnies will be allowed any more. When the pendulum eventually swings back away from conservatism, we're setting up to have a new explosion of trans youth. The only way out of this is NOT just "keep kids away from the trans cult"; it's making sure they never feel like they have to turn to any cult in the first place. And if it hadn't been trans, it would have been something else for this woman, some other cult or cult-adjacent group that would lovebomb and welcome her.

I so agree with this. A lot of people see conservative parents as ''based'' or something, but sometimes when I read accounts of how they reacted to their child's coming out, I just think, ''that's abusive, that's bullying, that's not loving them or wanting to protect them''.

No wonder they gravitate to Discord groomers and lovebombers!

Because liberals in the US and leftists here in the EU are associated with trans a lot of people assume that those parents are the worst in this. And that may be so, for a lot of reasons, but let's not fail to see how a lot of conservative parents don't exactly help and how abusive parenting can directly lead kids to cults like this. It's all not so simple. And when you've been the greatest threat to your child's well-being for many years, you don't get to ''protect'' them from the one group that seems to love, accept and encourage them. By then it's too late, and any attempts to ''protect'' the child from groomers will instead be interpreted as another example of your abusive behaviour and desire to harm and isolate the child. You don't get to be the child's worst bully for many years, to then suddenly turn into their protector.

Even a nebulous sense of lack of love and acceptance, such as feeling very well that your LGB nature won't be respected can be enough to make the trans movement appealing. Conservative people don't get to just point at and blame whatever passes for leftists these days; they need to look themselves in the mirror as well.

Wandering_Feminist56

6 hours ago #4

(Yesterday, 7:38 AM)Elsacat https://oakleafdreams.substack.com/p/the-trans-kid-that-shouldve-been

I hope readers really think about what this woman's early life was like, the homophobia, misogyny, and male violence that made her feel like she couldn't be a girl. I hope readers also really think about what it was like for her after she finally found her place with women who could love and appreciate her as she is.

There's a place in hell for her family, especially her father, and there are so many families like that today, smug in their red state, Fox News households thinking that no dykes or f@ggots or tr@nnies will be allowed any more. When the pendulum eventually swings back away from conservatism, we're setting up to have a new explosion of trans youth. The only way out of this is NOT just "keep kids away from the trans cult"; it's making sure they never feel like they have to turn to any cult in the first place. And if it hadn't been trans, it would have been something else for this woman, some other cult or cult-adjacent group that would lovebomb and welcome her.

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