TIF drama on r/trans

clovenhooves The Personal Is Political Gender Critical TIF drama on r/trans

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YesYourNigel

233

Jul 13 2025, 8:08 PM

There's drama on r/trans where a woman posted the most milquetoast post imaginable about TIF struggles. It was super apologetic that of COURSE women don't suffer more than men and she'd never dream of implying that TIMs aren't super duper oppressed...but you know, TIFs have their own unique struggles that no-one talks about, like suffering more sexual assault than men because they're women (which is an example of transphobia, ofc) and the fact that an roll of arm skin over one's genitals isn't seen as a real penis the way that a vagina and vulva are easily appropriated by an empty hole in the groin (which is also transphobia, ofc) and the worst injustice: experiencing misogyny meant for all those other pink-souled bimbos who surely like it and not ME, a boysouled boy who's #NotLikeOtherGirls. Now, we have no clue whatsoever why all these different genders that all happen to be AFAB might be experiencing consistent, systematic oppression that is absolutely identical to misogyny (but isn't because we're ofc #NotLikeOtherGirls and TIMs would nevereverever act like men, you TERF) at the hands of all those different genders that happen to be AMAB, and we would never EVER imply that it's due to the sexist behaviour of the male members of the movement...we just want to TaLk about it!

Post apparently got locked for "bitching" (literally that word) and being "divisive" by a TIM mod lmao! This apparently proves even more that this mystical form of oppression of TIFs from mysterious unknowable forces needs to be talked about! Don't think about the only commonality these people have and how they match centuries of the exact same thing happening, this is very special and unique and isolated random cases against a "minority" for being "different". Don't think about it further than that!

TIFs are so desperately trying to describe the misogyny they experience within a trans framework, and consistently failing.

Edited Jul 13 2025, 8:12 PM by YesYourNigel.

I refuse to debate two obvious facts: 1. the patriarchy exists 2. and that's a bad thing

YesYourNigel

Jul 13 2025, 8:08 PM #1

I refuse to debate two obvious facts: 1. the patriarchy exists 2. and that's a bad thing

OffMyTit

Jul 15 2025, 12:46 AM

Hard to feel bad for them. If a regular woman who knows she’s a woman had said the same thing this TIF did, the TIF would have been first in line to give her the same treatment.

OffMyTit

Jul 15 2025, 12:46 AM #2

Hard to feel bad for them. If a regular woman who knows she’s a woman had said the same thing this TIF did, the TIF would have been first in line to give her the same treatment.

YesYourNigel

233

Jul 18 2025, 4:40 PM

(Jul 15 2025, 12:46 AM)OffMyTit Hard to feel bad for them. If a regular woman who knows she’s a woman had said the same thing this TIF did, the TIF would have been first in line to give her the same treatment.

I mean sure, but you can say that for most women. They are told to throw more "suitable" women into the patriarchal meat grinder in exchange for the desperately coveted male approval. It's the same with any woman who responds to feminist awareness with aggression and backstabbing. I used to be like that until I finally accepted that men will never stop hating me and other women regardless of what we do or how much we try to appease them.

What makes trans, specifically the queer libfem branch of it (standard butch TIFs are just self-hating OneOfTheBoys women on steroids, both figuratively and literally) especially insidious is that it preys on women who have some semblance of feminist awareness, enough to at least allow themselves to notice the unfair behaviour. When it turns out the supposedly enlightened men around them (whether through being liberal, having pink girlsouls, self-describing themselves as feminist etc.) are still pulling the same shit that any other man is pulling and that other women are dealing with the exact same problems, they're check-mated with "How dare you GeNeRaLiSe people" and "This is very gender-invalidating" bs, because this was a premise they had to accept when entering the libfem arrangement. So they're stuck in this confusing loop where they continuously want to TaLk AbOuT some mysterious unknowable force screwing them over because they're never allowed to actually talk about it and put their finger on the problem. That would crash the whole libfem system where people can just call themselves unproblematic and gain immunity from criticism.

Edited Jul 18 2025, 4:42 PM by YesYourNigel.

I refuse to debate two obvious facts: 1. the patriarchy exists 2. and that's a bad thing

YesYourNigel

Jul 18 2025, 4:40 PM #3

(Jul 15 2025, 12:46 AM)OffMyTit Hard to feel bad for them. If a regular woman who knows she’s a woman had said the same thing this TIF did, the TIF would have been first in line to give her the same treatment.

I refuse to debate two obvious facts: 1. the patriarchy exists 2. and that's a bad thing

OffMyTit

Jul 18 2025, 11:55 PM

(Jul 18 2025, 4:40 PM)YesYourNigel I mean sure, but you can say that for most women. They are told to throw more "suitable" women into the patriarchal meat grinder in exchange for the desperately coveted male approval. It's the same with any woman who responds to feminist awareness with aggression and backstabbing.

I think this ignores the concerted cancelling of terfs (ie, women) in particular that this specific ideology encouraged to the point of violence. I’m not willing to let it slide because women in general are discouraged from solidarity. It was a vitriolic targeting of women for shunning, ridicule, harassment, and assault (including murder—Dana Rivers is largely sympathized with by the TQ community) unlike anything I have ever seen in the US in my lifetime.

OffMyTit

Jul 18 2025, 11:55 PM #4

(Jul 18 2025, 4:40 PM)YesYourNigel I mean sure, but you can say that for most women. They are told to throw more "suitable" women into the patriarchal meat grinder in exchange for the desperately coveted male approval. It's the same with any woman who responds to feminist awareness with aggression and backstabbing.

YesYourNigel

233

Jul 19 2025, 8:52 AM

(Jul 18 2025, 11:55 PM)OffMyTit
(Jul 18 2025, 4:40 PM)YesYourNigel I mean sure, but you can say that for most women. They are told to throw more "suitable" women into the patriarchal meat grinder in exchange for the desperately coveted male approval. It's the same with any woman who responds to feminist awareness with aggression and backstabbing.
I think this ignores the concerted cancelling of terfs (ie, women) in particular that this specific ideology encouraged to the point of violence. I’m not willing to let it slide because women in general are discouraged from solidarity. It was a vitriolic targeting of women for shunning, ridicule, harassment, and assault (including murder—Dana Rivers is largely sympathized with by the TQ community) unlike anything I have ever seen in the US in my lifetime.

Uhh are you new to feminism? Feminists have been mocked, silenced, cancelled, called slurs and attacked for as long as there has been feminism. There is no shortage of violent anti-feminist male fantasies and rhetoric openly and massively posted online as well as death and rape threats against prominent feminists. If you've genuinely never seen this I don't know what to tell you. You might need to pause your focus on trans and direct your involvement into actual feminism more, especially given the current state of women's rights and male attitudes in the US.

Edited Jul 19 2025, 8:53 AM by YesYourNigel.

I refuse to debate two obvious facts: 1. the patriarchy exists 2. and that's a bad thing

YesYourNigel

Jul 19 2025, 8:52 AM #5

(Jul 18 2025, 11:55 PM)OffMyTit
(Jul 18 2025, 4:40 PM)YesYourNigel I mean sure, but you can say that for most women. They are told to throw more "suitable" women into the patriarchal meat grinder in exchange for the desperately coveted male approval. It's the same with any woman who responds to feminist awareness with aggression and backstabbing.
I think this ignores the concerted cancelling of terfs (ie, women) in particular that this specific ideology encouraged to the point of violence. I’m not willing to let it slide because women in general are discouraged from solidarity. It was a vitriolic targeting of women for shunning, ridicule, harassment, and assault (including murder—Dana Rivers is largely sympathized with by the TQ community) unlike anything I have ever seen in the US in my lifetime.

I refuse to debate two obvious facts: 1. the patriarchy exists 2. and that's a bad thing

OffMyTit

Jul 19 2025, 10:35 AM

(Jul 19 2025, 8:52 AM)YesYourNigel
(Jul 18 2025, 11:55 PM)OffMyTit
(Jul 18 2025, 4:40 PM)YesYourNigel I mean sure, but you can say that for most women. They are told to throw more "suitable" women into the patriarchal meat grinder in exchange for the desperately coveted male approval. It's the same with any woman who responds to feminist awareness with aggression and backstabbing.
I think this ignores the concerted cancelling of terfs (ie, women) in particular that this specific ideology encouraged to the point of violence. I’m not willing to let it slide because women in general are discouraged from solidarity. It was a vitriolic targeting of women for shunning, ridicule, harassment, and assault (including murder—Dana Rivers is largely sympathized with by the TQ community) unlike anything I have ever seen in the US in my lifetime.

Uhh are you new to feminism? Feminists have been mocked, silenced, cancelled, called slurs and attacked for as long as there has been feminism. There is no shortage of violent anti-feminist male fantasies and rhetoric openly and massively posted online as well as death and rape threats against prominent feminists. If you've genuinely never seen this I don't know what to tell you. You might need to pause your focus on trans and direct your involvement into actual feminism more, especially given the current state of women's rights and male attitudes in the US.

Nope not new to feminism. I think your empathy for people who have been called freaks blinds you to exactly how misogynist (and racist) this movement was. I’ve noticed a lot of apologia for the trans from you. Im not going to “not all trans,” “not all democrats,” or anything else that allows leftists to get away with the pushing this ideology on girls and women. I’m not in any way a trumper. I begged leftist organizations and democratic caucuses to see reason and they wouldn’t. It’s done as much damage as any other patriarchal religion and I am out of excuses for any of the people involved. If that makes you think I’m new to feminism, feel free to disengage the noob.

ETA: and since you were so diplomatic (sarcasm) in your response, you sound like you had pronouns in your email signature not too long ago. Are you sure you’re not the one new to feminism?

Edited Jul 19 2025, 10:38 AM by OffMyTit.

OffMyTit

Jul 19 2025, 10:35 AM #6

(Jul 19 2025, 8:52 AM)YesYourNigel
(Jul 18 2025, 11:55 PM)OffMyTit
(Jul 18 2025, 4:40 PM)YesYourNigel I mean sure, but you can say that for most women. They are told to throw more "suitable" women into the patriarchal meat grinder in exchange for the desperately coveted male approval. It's the same with any woman who responds to feminist awareness with aggression and backstabbing.
I think this ignores the concerted cancelling of terfs (ie, women) in particular that this specific ideology encouraged to the point of violence. I’m not willing to let it slide because women in general are discouraged from solidarity. It was a vitriolic targeting of women for shunning, ridicule, harassment, and assault (including murder—Dana Rivers is largely sympathized with by the TQ community) unlike anything I have ever seen in the US in my lifetime.

Uhh are you new to feminism? Feminists have been mocked, silenced, cancelled, called slurs and attacked for as long as there has been feminism. There is no shortage of violent anti-feminist male fantasies and rhetoric openly and massively posted online as well as death and rape threats against prominent feminists. If you've genuinely never seen this I don't know what to tell you. You might need to pause your focus on trans and direct your involvement into actual feminism more, especially given the current state of women's rights and male attitudes in the US.

komorebi
“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

378

Yesterday, 1:06 AM

(Jul 15 2025, 12:46 AM)OffMyTit Hard to feel bad for them. If a regular woman who knows she’s a woman had said the same thing this TIF did, the TIF would have been first in line to give her the same treatment.

Strange take on a feminist forum. So you only care about women who "deserve" to be cared about, whatever that means to you? Women who have never made imperfect or ignorant choices, I suppose? Perhaps women who have never been callous about the suffering of other women? I wonder if you would qualify under these standards.

komorebi

“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

Yesterday, 1:06 AM #7

(Jul 15 2025, 12:46 AM)OffMyTit Hard to feel bad for them. If a regular woman who knows she’s a woman had said the same thing this TIF did, the TIF would have been first in line to give her the same treatment.

OffMyTit

Yesterday, 3:50 AM

(Yesterday, 1:06 AM)komorebi
(Jul 15 2025, 12:46 AM)OffMyTit Hard to feel bad for them. If a regular woman who knows she’s a woman had said the same thing this TIF did, the TIF would have been first in line to give her the same treatment.

Strange take on a feminist forum. So you only care about women who "deserve" to be cared about, whatever that means to you? Women who have never made imperfect or ignorant choices, I suppose? Perhaps women who have never been callous about the suffering of other women? I wonder if you would qualify under these standards.

Feminism was there for these women the entire time. Many feminists interacted with these women from about 2007 or so in my case, attempting to connect with them and get them to understand the classist nature of sexism. Often, having gotten through, I was simply told that agreeing with me publicly would lose them friends. So, that was their choice.

Let me ask you a question. Does one have to feel sorry for recalcitrant women to still do feminist work on their behalf? Is the pity the feminist part for you? Asking because all I said was that it was hard to feel sorry for them, not that I was happy they boarded the boat they’re in.

OffMyTit

Yesterday, 3:50 AM #8

(Yesterday, 1:06 AM)komorebi
(Jul 15 2025, 12:46 AM)OffMyTit Hard to feel bad for them. If a regular woman who knows she’s a woman had said the same thing this TIF did, the TIF would have been first in line to give her the same treatment.

Strange take on a feminist forum. So you only care about women who "deserve" to be cared about, whatever that means to you? Women who have never made imperfect or ignorant choices, I suppose? Perhaps women who have never been callous about the suffering of other women? I wonder if you would qualify under these standards.

komorebi
“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

378

Yesterday, 10:46 AM

(Yesterday, 3:50 AM)OffMyTit Let me ask you a question. Does one have to feel sorry for recalcitrant women to still do feminist work on their behalf? Is the pity the feminist part for you? Asking because all I said was that it was hard to feel sorry for them, not that I was happy they boarded the boat they’re in.

Obviously, feminist action is the feminist part, not pity, but I would argue that such feminist action is typically preceded by caring about the suffering of other women. I'm sorry if you don't like me holding up a mirror to your actions, but you're doing exactly the thing that you're accusing these hypothetical women of doing. We don't know you and all we have to understand you by are your comments on the thread, so if the thing you choose to represent yourself with is the throwaway answer "I don't care about the suffering of these women," then why be upset that people are drawing conclusions, right or wrong, from your words?

komorebi

“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

Yesterday, 10:46 AM #9

(Yesterday, 3:50 AM)OffMyTit Let me ask you a question. Does one have to feel sorry for recalcitrant women to still do feminist work on their behalf? Is the pity the feminist part for you? Asking because all I said was that it was hard to feel sorry for them, not that I was happy they boarded the boat they’re in.

alefia

Yesterday, 2:44 PM

#10

(Jul 15 2025, 12:46 AM)OffMyTit Hard to feel bad for them. If a regular woman who knows she’s a woman had said the same thing this TIF did, the TIF would have been first in line to give her the same treatment.

I second this. I could sympathize if they were children, but I hold no solidarity toward the self-hating women that "would help a transwoman" almost kill my girlfriend during a Dyke March.

Shielding a man who has a woman on a headlock makes you trash, but when the shielder is a woman herself, she is worse than trash.

alefia

Yesterday, 2:44 PM #10

(Jul 15 2025, 12:46 AM)OffMyTit Hard to feel bad for them. If a regular woman who knows she’s a woman had said the same thing this TIF did, the TIF would have been first in line to give her the same treatment.

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