Are You Asking Why? Detransitioned and Reidentified Women Speak Out

sealwomyn

Dec 17 2024, 12:56 AM

Are You Asking Why? is the website of a group of women who were there quite some years ago when I was first reidentifying, and who I think have strong feminist principles sorely needed in this movement, and have put together a lot of great writing and resources to that end. Here's some information from their homepage:

Quote:
We are a group of detransitioned and re-identified women who have been doing grassroots organizing since 2013.
We oppose collusion with the right-wing. We do not consent to our stories being co-opted by an anti-LGBT and anti-woman agenda.

Some Reasons Why it Matters:

Feminists in the Crosshairs - Not Just "Reaching Across the Aisle"
"We may think we are engaged on a single-issue basis with these groups, especially when they appropriate secular, even feminist language, but we are also in their crosshairs. The fact that they've shifted their attention, for the moment, to trans-women should fool nobody. Gender identity is a wedge issue against the whole package of what is known, in terms of international law, as 'SOGI - sexual orientation and gender identity - and against everything represented by the left, including anti-racism and feminism."

- "Women and the Religious Right" by Jayne Egerton

LGBT Rights

"While we believe it protects the well-being of all patients for negligent medical providers to be held accountable, any relationship formed with [far-right organizations] assists them in their agenda of eroding the autonomy of lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans-identified and gender non-conforming youth [and adults] by legitimizing conversion therapy based on Christian fundamentalism."
- Statement adapted from "Detransitioned Women Resist the ADF" website

We Speak for Ourselves Better Than They Can

"You may have seen detransition as a topic in the news. Distorted and sensationalized, our existence as detransitioned women is either presented as the ultimate tragedy or decried as a conservative myth, depending on what political agenda needs furthering that day. ... Being treated as ideologically inconvenient aberrations who are mistaken about the meaning of our experiences by liberal allies is not comparable to the incredibly well-funded, ongoing attacks on our basic civil rights (as women and, for many of us, as lesbians) by conservatives."
- Detransition: Beyond Before and After by Max Robinson

komorebi
“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

165

Dec 17 2024, 1:51 AM

Thank you for sharing the useful resource! I'm glad you found your way back.

I hesitate to call myself "detrans" as I never went through a period of actually identifying as trans, internally or externally. It was just something I considered very deeply, for perhaps half a year, when I was going through a period of trying to understand myself in relation to the world in my teens. Without going into too much detail, I check a great many of the boxes for "being trans," both the traditional ones (stereotypical interests and dress from a very young age) as well as the more modern ones (interest in anime and yaoi subcultures).

The thing that shook me out of it was actually confiding about my gender doubts in a female friend at the time, who basically went, "Huh? What?? No!!!" XD I was deeply hurt by her reaction at the time, but it got me to put a pause on thinking about that stuff, at least. She probably ended up saving me from going down that rabbit hole.

What women in this situation need is compassion, not to be used as political footballs for conservative agendas. I can only hope more and more space is made for their voices.

Elsacat

Dec 17 2024, 9:58 AM

Has this ever been posted on Ovarit? If not, would you be willing to? I'm not detrans, so I have that circle blocked so I don't accidentally post there and if it's been posted there I haven't seen it.

I believe TIMs are simply a foot in the door for a lot of these right-wing organizations. If they succeed in pushing back trans agendas, they won't be like a dog who caught the car and doesn't know what to do with it. They know exactly what they want to do and what to move forward with once they've gotten one less popular cause - and group of people - "under control."

sealwomyn

Jan 21 2025, 9:40 PM

(Dec 17 2024, 9:58 AM)Elsacat Has this ever been posted on Ovarit? If not, would you be willing to? I'm not detrans, so I have that circle blocked so I don't accidentally post there and if it's been posted there I haven't seen it.

Yes, I remember someone from the group posting it onto Ovarit. She may have only put it in the detrans circle, which is pretty dead for, well, obvious reasons if you are familiar the absolute state of that site's obtuse femininity-conforming userbase and the cruel and condescending way they speak about trans-identifying women and girls.

sealwomyn

Jan 21 2025, 10:10 PM

(Dec 17 2024, 1:51 AM)komorebi Thank you for sharing the useful resource! I'm glad you found your way back.

I hesitate to call myself "detrans" as I never went through a period of actually identifying as trans, internally or externally. It was just something I considered very deeply, for perhaps half a year, when I was going through a period of trying to understand myself in relation to the world in my teens. Without going into too much detail, I check a great many of the boxes for "being trans," both the traditional ones (stereotypical interests and dress from a very young age) as well as the more modern ones (interest in anime and yaoi subcultures).

The thing that shook me out of it was actually confiding about my gender doubts in a female friend at the time, who basically went, "Huh? What?? No!!!" XD I was deeply hurt by her reaction at the time, but it got me to put a pause on thinking about that stuff, at least. She probably ended up saving me from going down that rabbit hole.

What women in this situation need is compassion, not to be used as political footballs for conservative agendas. I can only hope more and more space is made for their voices.

I agree that there is a glaring lack of compassion for girls who have suffered from gender dysphoria and from the horrible, restrictive, dehumanizing rules girls are expected to abide by. I checked a lot of the boxes from very young childhood too, and questioned if something was medically wrong with me years before I ever heard of even the concept of being transgender, so the medical professionals considered me a pretty cut and dry case I think. The modern signs being anime-based is interesting, I do think that the way mangaka draw men and women is so ridiculous that I can definitely see it exacerbating dysphoria about your body. I know I certainly hated seeing anime p*rn of ridiculously proportioned women all over the place in Japan, it made me really want that mastectomy so nobody would look at me like those gross portrayals of women anymore and random dudes wouldn't say creepy shit to me in public...

In a way I can understand your friend's comment being hurtful because the patriarchal idea is that we are lesser mentally, physically, spiritually, and so not just asserting feminist thought but even expressing a transgender identity is seen as sort of trying to rise above your station as a female human... so some people have to put you down for even daring to say you have a lot of interests more in common with men or etc.

I know when I was considering taking that path in life that I would have had to be "stealth" and never reveal myself as born female or I would simply never access that basic respect in the workplace and academic settings afforded to males, so the idea of being vocally transgender or nonbinary never crossed my mind - that would completely defeat the purpose of the endeavor. If it were not for discovering the existence of remnant lesbian communities, I may have gone ahead and done it because it's so futile as a woman to try and be respected or treated as an equal by men. I had to really recognize the fact that I'm not the problem, men are the problem, and straight men are usually just vile predators with no moral compass who make women's lives around them hell, so why would I want their acceptance or respect? and so on and so forth lol.

I'm glad you found your way back as well. I don't identify as detrans either since I canceled my appointment to go on hormones, but I think desisted or reidentified could still apply to you if you had disidentified from womanhood for a while. Gender dysphoric women have a lot in common even if we didn't undertake medical transition, and sometimes there are spaces just for women who did undergo that but often times it's a mix of both groups of women IME. I was able to meet in person with a bunch of detrans and desisted women I knew online for years recently and it was really wonderful to be able to have that space in person to be with women who just get it but also have a feminist framework to analyze our experiences. I hope we continue to hold spaces like that and share our past experiences with the scumbags on the religious right so no more of our sisters get taken advantage of for their womanhating agendas.