"There Is No Safe Word—How the best-selling fantasy author Neil Gaiman hid the darkest parts of himself for decades."

cloven hooves The Personal Is Political Violence Against Women Sexual Assault & Rape Article "There Is No Safe Word—How the best-selling fantasy author Neil Gaiman hid the darkest parts of himself for decades."

Article "There Is No Safe Word—How the best-selling fantasy author Neil Gaiman hid the darkest parts of himself for decades."

Article "There Is No Safe Word—How the best-selling fantasy author Neil Gaiman hid the darkest parts of himself for decades."

komorebi
“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

134

Jan 13 2025, 7:18 PM

#1

Vulture (archive link), January 13, 2025. Note: Contains graphic descriptions of sexual assault and other disturbing content.

This is a long, harrowing, absolutely horrific piece. I'm not sure if I can gather my thoughts after having just read it; I feel like I need some brain bleach after reading about this absolute piece of shit. These poor women didn't deserve any of this, and I hope they're coming to a place of healing.

One libfemmy thing that bothered me as I was reading it was how the author kept emphasizing that it would have all been OK if only there had been consent, as though the lack of consent was the only thing that made this disgusting. But how can anyone possibly consent to abuse? Abuse is by nature coercive; consent doesn't come into it.

komorebi

“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

Jan 13 2025, 7:18 PM #1

Vulture (archive link), January 13, 2025. Note: Contains graphic descriptions of sexual assault and other disturbing content.

This is a long, harrowing, absolutely horrific piece. I'm not sure if I can gather my thoughts after having just read it; I feel like I need some brain bleach after reading about this absolute piece of shit. These poor women didn't deserve any of this, and I hope they're coming to a place of healing.

One libfemmy thing that bothered me as I was reading it was how the author kept emphasizing that it would have all been OK if only there had been consent, as though the lack of consent was the only thing that made this disgusting. But how can anyone possibly consent to abuse? Abuse is by nature coercive; consent doesn't come into it.

Elsacat

74

Jan 13 2025, 8:26 PM

#2

So gross. He should be in jail. Amanda Palmer probably should too. She practically trafficked these homeless, mentally struggling young women to Gaiman.

Elsacat

Jan 13 2025, 8:26 PM #2

So gross. He should be in jail. Amanda Palmer probably should too. She practically trafficked these homeless, mentally struggling young women to Gaiman.

wormwood

3

Jan 13 2025, 10:45 PM

#3

What a vile, grubby little man. That he would do it in front of his kid is suggestive of a very high degree of narcissism, too.
Like, nowhere near this scale but my narcissistic abuser wanting to have sex even when we were sharing a room with our one year old, that was part of why I finally managed to leave.

I wonder if other women will come forward, or how many.

I wonder whether his cancellation will last. I suspect it won’t.

wormwood

Jan 13 2025, 10:45 PM #3

What a vile, grubby little man. That he would do it in front of his kid is suggestive of a very high degree of narcissism, too.
Like, nowhere near this scale but my narcissistic abuser wanting to have sex even when we were sharing a room with our one year old, that was part of why I finally managed to leave.

I wonder if other women will come forward, or how many.

I wonder whether his cancellation will last. I suspect it won’t.

komorebi
“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

134

Jan 15 2025, 1:53 PM

#4

Vile, grubby little man responds:

Neil Gaiman responds to explosive report of sexual assault, NYT, Jan 14, 2025.

Quote:“I have never engaged in non-consensual sexual activity with anyone,” said the best-selling author in response to allegations in New York magazine.

Really? Never? Not even once? 🙄 Let alone hundreds of times, with dozens of women who have never met each other yet all have the same kind of story? Please.

komorebi

“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

Jan 15 2025, 1:53 PM #4

Vile, grubby little man responds:

Neil Gaiman responds to explosive report of sexual assault, NYT, Jan 14, 2025.

Quote:“I have never engaged in non-consensual sexual activity with anyone,” said the best-selling author in response to allegations in New York magazine.

Really? Never? Not even once? 🙄 Let alone hundreds of times, with dozens of women who have never met each other yet all have the same kind of story? Please.

Clover
Kozlik's regular account 🍀🐐

452

Jan 15 2025, 3:34 PM

#5

(Jan 15 2025, 1:53 PM)komorebi Vile, grubby little man responds:

Neil Gaiman responds to explosive report of sexual assault, NYT, Jan 14, 2025.

Quote:“I have never engaged in non-consensual sexual activity with anyone,” said the best-selling author in response to allegations in New York magazine.

Men's idea of "non-consensual" is "well, she didn't say no." They dont want to think about power dynamics in any sense, nor do they want others to. They repudiate the notion of "affirmative consent" (yes means yes) because they need coercive consent to be deemed "acceptable" in society so they can 1. console/delude themselves and others into thinking they're not rapists and, if that fails, 2. justify being rapists.

Kozlik's regular member account. 🍀🐐

Clover

Kozlik's regular account 🍀🐐

Jan 15 2025, 3:34 PM #5

(Jan 15 2025, 1:53 PM)komorebi Vile, grubby little man responds:

Neil Gaiman responds to explosive report of sexual assault, NYT, Jan 14, 2025.

Quote:“I have never engaged in non-consensual sexual activity with anyone,” said the best-selling author in response to allegations in New York magazine.

Men's idea of "non-consensual" is "well, she didn't say no." They dont want to think about power dynamics in any sense, nor do they want others to. They repudiate the notion of "affirmative consent" (yes means yes) because they need coercive consent to be deemed "acceptable" in society so they can 1. console/delude themselves and others into thinking they're not rapists and, if that fails, 2. justify being rapists.

Kozlik's regular member account. 🍀🐐

Elsacat

74

Jan 15 2025, 8:47 PM

#6

The details some of the women provide in the original story are so vile, I can't imagine wanting to say all that just to be a money-grubber or attention-getter. (Money-grubber/attention-getter is likely the angle Gaiman will push) It's only worth it if you know those details will be associated as much or more with your attacker(s). As a heroic woman recently said, shame must change sides.

Elsacat

Jan 15 2025, 8:47 PM #6

The details some of the women provide in the original story are so vile, I can't imagine wanting to say all that just to be a money-grubber or attention-getter. (Money-grubber/attention-getter is likely the angle Gaiman will push) It's only worth it if you know those details will be associated as much or more with your attacker(s). As a heroic woman recently said, shame must change sides.

wormwood

3

Yesterday, 6:48 AM

#7

(Jan 15 2025, 3:34 PM)Clover
(Jan 15 2025, 1:53 PM)komorebi Vile, grubby little man responds:

Neil Gaiman responds to explosive report of sexual assault, NYT, Jan 14, 2025.

Quote:“I have never engaged in non-consensual sexual activity with anyone,” said the best-selling author in response to allegations in New York magazine.
Men's idea of "non-consensual" is "well, she didn't say no." They dont want to think about power dynamics in any sense, nor do they want others to. They repudiate the notion of "affirmative consent" (yes means yes) because they need coercive consent to be deemed "acceptable" in society so they can 1. console/delude themselves and others into thinking they're not rapists and, if that fails, 2. justify being rapists.

Bingo. “The traumatised young lesbian with a crush on my ex wife, the one who was broke and still hoping to be paid for the childcare sh was doing, she didn't say no. Even though she says she did. The divorced mother financially dependent on living in my property, she didn’t say no either.”

wormwood

Yesterday, 6:48 AM #7

(Jan 15 2025, 3:34 PM)Clover
(Jan 15 2025, 1:53 PM)komorebi Vile, grubby little man responds:

Neil Gaiman responds to explosive report of sexual assault, NYT, Jan 14, 2025.

Quote:“I have never engaged in non-consensual sexual activity with anyone,” said the best-selling author in response to allegations in New York magazine.
Men's idea of "non-consensual" is "well, she didn't say no." They dont want to think about power dynamics in any sense, nor do they want others to. They repudiate the notion of "affirmative consent" (yes means yes) because they need coercive consent to be deemed "acceptable" in society so they can 1. console/delude themselves and others into thinking they're not rapists and, if that fails, 2. justify being rapists.

Bingo. “The traumatised young lesbian with a crush on my ex wife, the one who was broke and still hoping to be paid for the childcare sh was doing, she didn't say no. Even though she says she did. The divorced mother financially dependent on living in my property, she didn’t say no either.”

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