I Overheard 2 Women Discuss The 'Good Old Days.' Here's The Unpleasant Truth People Seem To Forget.

clovenhooves The Personal Is Political Women's Rights Article I Overheard 2 Women Discuss The 'Good Old Days.' Here's The Unpleasant Truth People Seem To Forget.

Article I Overheard 2 Women Discuss The 'Good Old Days.' Here's The Unpleasant Truth People Seem To Forget.

Article I Overheard 2 Women Discuss The 'Good Old Days.' Here's The Unpleasant Truth People Seem To Forget.

Elsacat

172

Feb 3 2025, 10:38 AM

#1

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/discrimination-against-women-equal-rights_n_679a798ce4b0bc13214399cb

I couldn't help but picture my mother and grandmothers as I read this, and even the older sisters of people my age. I was lucky to be part of what was likely the first generation to not be bound so heavily by convention.

Elsacat

Feb 3 2025, 10:38 AM #1

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/discrimination-against-women-equal-rights_n_679a798ce4b0bc13214399cb

I couldn't help but picture my mother and grandmothers as I read this, and even the older sisters of people my age. I was lucky to be part of what was likely the first generation to not be bound so heavily by convention.

drdee

65

Feb 3 2025, 10:54 AM

#2

I just finished rereading and annotating this book, to send around to fellow feminists (if you or anyone else wants to join the 'chain letter' let me know!):

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/720217.Reflecting_Men

Several similar stories to this one.

I've written and said this before, and no doubt will again - last year I bought a house, with my own money, that I earned from my professional job, that I got because of my good education. None of these things would have been possible for my mother, and not only that, when I was born she would never have thought that any of these things would have been possible for me.

Some people toss around the expression 'compulsory heterosexuality' as if it means something like 'people at work ask me about my boyfriend', or some other horribly traumatic experience - what it actually means is that until those laws were changed in the 1970s women had no independent access to financial or physical resources and literally had to establish a sexual relationship with a man in order to survive.

Edited Feb 3 2025, 10:55 AM by drdee.

drdee

Feb 3 2025, 10:54 AM #2

I just finished rereading and annotating this book, to send around to fellow feminists (if you or anyone else wants to join the 'chain letter' let me know!):

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/720217.Reflecting_Men

Several similar stories to this one.

I've written and said this before, and no doubt will again - last year I bought a house, with my own money, that I earned from my professional job, that I got because of my good education. None of these things would have been possible for my mother, and not only that, when I was born she would never have thought that any of these things would have been possible for me.

Some people toss around the expression 'compulsory heterosexuality' as if it means something like 'people at work ask me about my boyfriend', or some other horribly traumatic experience - what it actually means is that until those laws were changed in the 1970s women had no independent access to financial or physical resources and literally had to establish a sexual relationship with a man in order to survive.

komorebi
“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

240

Feb 4 2025, 9:13 PM

#3

My mother, who was just here visiting over the holidays, told me about her friend's grandmother when she was growing up. The woman had bound feet, and as such, spent most of her time in her later years lying prone in bed. My mom said there was always a bad smell around her when she visited...as though her feet were rotting.

I think about things like this, too, whenever people talk about the "good old days." When Chinese women had their feet literally broken, bound, and permanently deformed as a symbol of status and femininity. Think I prefer to live in this day and age, thanks.

komorebi

“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

Feb 4 2025, 9:13 PM #3

My mother, who was just here visiting over the holidays, told me about her friend's grandmother when she was growing up. The woman had bound feet, and as such, spent most of her time in her later years lying prone in bed. My mom said there was always a bad smell around her when she visited...as though her feet were rotting.

I think about things like this, too, whenever people talk about the "good old days." When Chinese women had their feet literally broken, bound, and permanently deformed as a symbol of status and femininity. Think I prefer to live in this day and age, thanks.

Clover
Kozlik's regular account 🍀🐐

663

Feb 5 2025, 11:28 PM

#4

(Feb 4 2025, 9:13 PM)komorebi My mother, who was just here visiting over the holidays, told me about her friend's grandmother when she was growing up. The woman had bound feet, and as such, spent most of her time in her later years lying prone in bed. My mom said there was always a bad smell around her when she visited...as though her feet were rotting.

Woah, that's so morbidly "fascinating" (weird word to use) that you know someone who knew a woman with bound feet. A harrowing reminder of how "not so long ago" it all was.

Kozlik's regular member account. 🍀🐐

Clover

Kozlik's regular account 🍀🐐

Feb 5 2025, 11:28 PM #4

(Feb 4 2025, 9:13 PM)komorebi My mother, who was just here visiting over the holidays, told me about her friend's grandmother when she was growing up. The woman had bound feet, and as such, spent most of her time in her later years lying prone in bed. My mom said there was always a bad smell around her when she visited...as though her feet were rotting.

Woah, that's so morbidly "fascinating" (weird word to use) that you know someone who knew a woman with bound feet. A harrowing reminder of how "not so long ago" it all was.

Kozlik's regular member account. 🍀🐐

komorebi
“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

240

Feb 6 2025, 1:52 PM

#5

(Feb 5 2025, 11:28 PM)Clover Woah, that's so morbidly "fascinating" (weird word to use) that you know someone who knew a woman with bound feet. A harrowing reminder of how "not so long ago" it all was.

It really wasn't that long ago. I knew my great-grandmother—she reached the ripe old age of 106, died when I was about twelve or so. I grew up with an awareness that her generation (not her specifically, obviously) would drown unwanted baby girls in wells. 😔

komorebi

“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

Feb 6 2025, 1:52 PM #5

(Feb 5 2025, 11:28 PM)Clover Woah, that's so morbidly "fascinating" (weird word to use) that you know someone who knew a woman with bound feet. A harrowing reminder of how "not so long ago" it all was.

It really wasn't that long ago. I knew my great-grandmother—she reached the ripe old age of 106, died when I was about twelve or so. I grew up with an awareness that her generation (not her specifically, obviously) would drown unwanted baby girls in wells. 😔

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