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Dutch young men more tolerant towards violence against women - Wandering_Feminist56 - Feb 28 2025
Quote:Young men increasingly tolerant of violence against women[url=https://pointer.kro-ncrv.nl/jonge-mannen-steeds-toleranter-over-geweld-tegen-vrouwen][/url]
February 25, 2025
Young European men tolerate more violence against women than older men, new research shows. Previously, this was the other way around. For example, more than a quarter of men under 45 believe that women often lie about sexual violence or exaggerate the severity of it, compared to 20 percent of older men. A misconception: "In reality, we know that women underreport," reports an author of the study.
The European Institute for Gender Equality (EIGE) published a report on inequality and violence against women yesterday. It concerns a survey among men and women in all European member states on physical and sexual violence, and on negative prejudices about women and how they can lead to violence.
Normalizing violence
For the first time, the group of men under 45 has more negative opinions about women and relationships than the older group. Younger men are most likely to blame victims and tolerate sexual violence against women the most. Within this younger age group, men and women also differ most in their acceptance of all forms of violence against women.
This increase is not without risks. EIGE researchers point out that these kinds of opinions help normalise violence against women. If women are not believed, or if harassment is seen as their own fault, this can lead to more serious physical and sexual violence.
Digital drawing in green and dark purple of a silhouette of a woman with shoulder-length hair and drawings of angry phone messages floating around her
Despite help from authorities, Merel fears her ex: 'He threw my head against the wall'
Merel's ex abused her. She has a restraining order against her ex that is about to expire and she is stuck in a tangle of authorities that can do little.
The data also shows this. For example, 1 in 10 men say they are fine with a man sometimes hitting his wife or girlfriend. And more than 1 in 10 men say that when a woman says 'no' to a sexual act, she means 'yes', because she is playing hard to get.
The idea that women often lie about sexual violence or exaggerate its seriousness (a quarter of European men under 45 believe this) is not true, says one of the researchers: "We know that it occurs more often in reality than in the data. Women often do not report it, because they are afraid of the perpetrator repeating it or fear that the reporting process will retraumatize them." Almost a third of Dutch women who have experienced physical or sexual violence say that they have never told anyone about it.
Pointer has been conducting research into femicide, violence against women and how victims are treated for some time. Member of Parliament Songül Mutluer recently called in Pointer for the appointment of a government commissioner for gender-related violence, among other things to better pick up early signals of violence.
The Netherlands in the data
On some points, the Netherlands stands out. We are in the top 5 of gender equality in Europe. Yet almost 6 in 10 (58 percent) Dutch people in the survey find it acceptable for a man to have control over his wife or girlfriend's finances. This is well above the European average. For comparison: that is much more than in Ireland (21 percent) and almost the same as in Hungary (62 percent).
The Netherlands also stands out when it comes to controlling behavior. A quarter of European men sometimes or always think it is fine for a man to control his partner's behavior and friendships - a third of Dutch men accept this. And Dutch women are also surprisingly open to this: 2 in 10 say they find this kind of control okay.
Furthermore, the Netherlands is one of only five EU countries without a special hotline for women who experience violence. Such a separate telephone line is not mandatory according to the international treaty on violence against women (Istanbul Convention). However, according to the guidelines, you must always be able to speak to someone with specific knowledge or training in this area. And that is still lacking in the Netherlands.
The fact that the Netherlands does not have a specific helpline for women is confirmed by Mariëtte Hamer, government commissioner for sexually transgressive behavior and sexual violence. "Veilig Thuis and Centrum Seksueel Geweld are helplines that can help women who experience sexual and/or domestic violence." Mariëtte Hamer, government commissioner for sexually transgressive behavior and sexual violence, confirms that the Netherlands does not have a specific helpline for women. "Veilig Thuis and Centrum Seksueel Geweld are helplines that can help women who experience sexual and/or domestic violence." However, women cannot always find the right help, according to Hamer. "That is why it is good that the Dutch government is working with various organizations on a joint approach to improve access to help."
If your partner does this, the alarm bells should start ringing
What are the risks of escalating violence in a relationship? And how do you recognize them in time?
Violence against women costs billions
EIGE estimates that violence against women costs the EU around 289 billion euros annually. This does not only involve lost income for women - for example because they are incapacitated by violence or are not allowed to work by their partner - but also missed costs for the business community, healthcare costs, police deployment and more.
Worrying development
Mariëtte Hamer calls the increase in old-fashioned views among young men a worrying development. "We also see internationally that young men are becoming more conservative and young women more progressive, partly due to various online bubbles."
However, there is also positive news, says Hamer. "We know from research that 84 percent of Dutch people believe that everyone has a role to play in tackling sexually transgressive behavior. At the same time, the extensive media attention and the behavioral changes that are required for this also create more resistance and discomfort. People, mostly men, find it difficult to determine: what is still allowed and what is not? This leads to uncertainty and tension, and unfortunately perhaps also the idea that women lie about (sexual) violence, while that is really not based on anything."
Jonge mannen steeds toleranter over geweld tegen vrouwen | KRO-NCRV
This is really bad news but not surprising in the slightest. We're actively moving backwards right now and I'm worried that sooner or later, I'll have to fight for abortion access just like my foremothers... And all the other stuff that women have fought hard for.
We need female solidarity now more than ever and that's also why I'm so incredibly frustrated with the trans madness. It completely deligitimizes feminism and other social causes, but that's for another time. Right now, I think we should invest in educating young girls and women on this, how to recognize manipulation and the early stages of abuse, what to do in that case, and so on. And for Christ's sake, do something about the useless police!
In any case, I think this is happening all over the world. It can't be helping that the Tate brothers are literally being rewarded for their heinous behaviour.
RE: Dutch young men more tolerant towards violence against women - OffMyTit - Feb 28 2025
This is terrible. It’s a trend that won’t be turned back easily, especially since women wasted so much politics capital on the trans madness and have little left to fight actual misogyny now. Everyone is sick of “feminists” so feminism must suffer.
I’m telling all the young women around me to prevent pregnancy at all costs. It will escalate the violence men are happier than before to inflict and mire them in poverty.
RE: Dutch young men more tolerant towards violence against women - Elsacat - Feb 28 2025
Big supporter of "prevent pregnancy" here. There is no sex so amazing that it's worth being dragged into poverty and shackled to a shitty man.
More girls should read "Why Does He Do That?" and "The Gift of Fear" too. Girls, not even just women. Learn and understand early.
RE: Dutch young men more tolerant towards violence against women - Clover - Feb 28 2025
Quote:For the first time, the group of men under 45 has more negative opinions about women and relationships than the older group. Younger men are most likely to blame victims and tolerate sexual violence against women the most. Within this younger age group, men and women also differ most in their acceptance of all forms of violence against women.
This increase is not without risks.
Early contender for the 2025 "No shit, Sherlock" Awards.
RE: Dutch young men more tolerant towards violence against women - Wandering_Feminist56 - Mar 1 2025
(Feb 28 2025, 5:38 AM)OffMyTit This is terrible. It’s a trend that won’t be turned back easily, especially since women wasted so much politics capital on the trans madness and have little left to fight actual misogyny now. Everyone is sick of “feminists” so feminism must suffer.
I’m telling all the young women around me to prevent pregnancy at all costs. It will escalate the violence men are happier than before to inflict and mire them in poverty.
Yeah, I'm incredibly frustrated with how the trans movement drags everything it latched onto down with it in its fall. I'm upset with how women are doing the ultimate patriarchal sacrifice by torpedoing our very own women's movement for the (non-existent) sake of a bunch of misogynistic fetishists. The damage is huge.
And good on you, yes, they should prevent pregnancy at all costs. Most men are completely unworthy of having their child carried by a woman, and they'll indeed trap her. I can only hope that young girls and women are open to these dire warnings because it may take some time to find out and establish that yes, men really are that fucking bad. I guess it's easier these days with the internet, but who knows...
RE: Dutch young men more tolerant towards violence against women - Wandering_Feminist56 - Mar 1 2025
(Feb 28 2025, 9:22 AM)Elsacat Big supporter of "prevent pregnancy" here. There is no sex so amazing that it's worth being dragged into poverty and shackled to a shitty man.
More girls should read "Why Does He Do That?" and "The Gift of Fear" too. Girls, not even just women. Learn and understand early.
Should be required reading (for girls) in schools, honestly.
RE: Dutch young men more tolerant towards violence against women - YesYourNigel - Mar 1 2025
(Feb 28 2025, 5:38 AM)OffMyTit This is terrible. It’s a trend that won’t be turned back easily, especially since women wasted so much politics capital on the trans madness and have little left to fight actual misogyny now.I also think that, now that TIF-ing out has become a popular mainstream option rather than something people weren't even aware of, we will see even more girls (specifically butch ones) reach for it as feminism becomes "uncool" and "cringe".
Trans, despite its association with feminism, gives girls something feminism never could - the possibility of hiding, keeping your head down and being "just a normal person" or (I'm struggling to contain an eyeroll) "myself", instead of an SJW gender-war-obsessed freak who thinks all women are angels because she herself is a biased woman. It promises the possibility of blending in as an "apolitical" man, one who performs the very comfortable and familiar role of a cheerleader for other men, and these women don't understand that said cheerleading isn't done to virtue signal to men that you're not one of the "bad women" who deserve abuse and dehumanisation, but rather because all men share an interest in maintaining patriarchal benefits that women are by definition excluded from.
I also think the butch TIFs (many of them lesbians) are going to be the worst struck by this, because they will both be more likely to engage in self-harm to prove their internalised misogyny, be especially grossed out by YASS QUEEN sparkledust makeup-obsessed liberal feminism that sees women who hate femininity as a part of the patriarchy, and also distance themselves from liberal feminism that, for all its faults, might at least draw a line on the most extreme and overt misogyny that women are tempted to go along with for male approval. The "UwU genderqueer gay femboy 🦄🌈" ones are mostly gonna stick with superficial things like pronoun pins and possibly outgrow it once they (and their boyfriends) get tired of the roleplaying. They will get groomed by liberal feminism into sexual exploitation much like other women, but they're less likely to amputate their body parts.
RE: Dutch young men more tolerant towards violence against women - Wandering_Feminist56 - Mar 2 2025
The odd thing is, I knew a bunch of TIF throughout the years and all of them were heterosexual (attracted to men). I agree, I think liberal feminism has done untold damage. One TIF for example was hated by men because they find her ugly (men would talk TO ME about how they hate her for being ugly!) and I think liberal feminism leaves very little space for such women. (sidestep here: it's absolutely crazy how men think, feel and talk about women they find ugly, it's completely deranged. Mind you, none of these women were really deformed or anything, and I'm not trying to be mean to women with abnormalities, but they were just women who were... unattractive? A bit unfortunate looking, I guess? But the HATE and DISGUST, omg)
Liberal feminism says that being a woman is to be a fuck-object, a lipsticked performance, an embrace of inferiority, a performance of a degradation ritual. This hinges on attractiveness and fuckability, and if you can't ''own your sexiness'' or whatever, or dislike this, you don't fit well into the narrative. In this pornified world it's even worse, and where girls and women desperately need to hear that porn is horrible, evil, and not good for us in the slightest, they're taught to reinforce porn culture even within themselves. No wonder women want out. Back in my day an eating disorder took care of that, but just escaping womanhood altogether is a good alternative.
''Not Like Other Girs'' is a bit of a double-edged sword: it is used to reinforce patriarchy and encourage the performance of femininity, but it's also true that women with internalized misogyny try to distance themselves from other women and girls whom they perceive as inferior, on the axis of what we ascribe to women as a class. (things like vanity, superficiality, low curiosity, vapidity, low intelligence, low morals)
RE: Dutch young men more tolerant towards violence against women - Clover - Mar 2 2025
(Mar 2 2025, 3:29 AM)Wandering_Feminist56 Liberal feminism says that being a woman is to be a fuck-object, a lipsticked performance, an embrace of inferiority, a performance of a degradation ritual.
All that and "being a woman" is to like all those things. It's the stupidest most vapid attempt at rebranding misogyny. It's like putting concealer over an infected wound — problem solved!
(Mar 2 2025, 3:29 AM)Wandering_Feminist56 In this pornified world it's even worse, and where girls and women desperately need to hear that porn is horrible, evil, and not good for us in the slightest, they're taught to reinforce porn culture even within themselves. No wonder women want out.
The worst part is that girls and women desperately need to hear that porn is horrible, evil, and not good for us in the slightest from a feminist perspective, but because nobody listens to women, instead the primary perspectives peddling that porn is horrible and evil are conservative religious crackpots who, along with saying those things against pornography, feel the need to emphasize that women are "pure docile beautiful little lambs of god uwu" and give girls stupid insulting lessons about how having sex before marriage is like being a chewed up piece of gum and whatever the fuck else.
Girls are then given an artificial dichotomy fully operating in a misogynistic system: quietly and gracefully be the Madonnas conservatives offer, or loudly and proudly be the "whores" neoliberal feminists offer. Wow, I wonder why so many girls and young women are instead completely "opting out of womanhood" by "transitioning"... 🤔🤔🤔
RE: Dutch young men more tolerant towards violence against women - Wandering_Feminist56 - Mar 3 2025
All of this brings me back to about a decade ago when I was in my early 20s and liberal feminism was at its worst in some respects. It was so insane that I googled terms like ''sex negative feminism'' because I couldn't imagine that participating in your own misogynistic degradation ritual is what women should strive for. It was all about boundaries, but you were shamed if you had them, you were to eagerly embrace being a fuck-object, the more you hurt your dignity, soul and body, the cooler you were. I occasionally wonder how many women were harmed by this, because back then, the messaging was really aggressive imo and there wasn't much space for debate or opposition.
This just can't be harmless. I knew a woman who'd make it her mission to learn all sex acts they show in porn. It seems to me that there's more visible opposition to it but maybe I'm wrong, and back then it was already BAD with men and the influence of porn, but now, they're downright demonic. This brand of feminism is anti-woman, there's no way around it. It has certain pro-woman standpoints such as abortion access but the core of its philosophy is anti-woman. In that sense it can't help that we gave men in fishnets such a loud voice.
I've been thinking about this lately, libfem caused such immense damage and is so ideologically bankrupt that it needs to be done away with. Girls and women need to reinvent feminism and it seems to slowly be happening but too little, too late. To me it feels like there's a decades-long hiatus where yes, a few things were accomplished, but we also slipped backwards because so much time was wasted on inane, navel-gazing, alienating nonsense. I think this made it easier for the conservative right to rise in a lot of countries, and it created a vacuum where traditionalism could step in. Not only were we too busy propping up the voices of fetishistic men at all costs, but also by discouraging healthy discussion and debate women ended up alienated, distanced and uninvolved from feminism. A lot of people aren't able to discern it well enough, that this is bullshit but that doesn't mean that all of feminism is bad.
We never should've given porn addicted men a voice in the women's movement and we never should've celebrated and embraced our own subjugation. Only now is there ever so slightly more healthy discussion (imo) but it's FAR too little, too late.