Ovarit post on o/Lesbians: "Where have we all gone?"

clovenhooves The Personal Is Political Lesbian & Bisexual Rights Social Media Ovarit post on o/Lesbians: "Where have we all gone?"

Social Media Ovarit post on o/Lesbians: "Where have we all gone?"

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ShameMustChangeSides

Feb 13 2025, 12:05 PM

#21

(Feb 13 2025, 11:50 AM)lesbiansherlock Lesbians are only used as a counter argument against TIMs, when it’s convenient.

When it comes to standing up for us I found most people on Ovarit really insensitive and low key homophobic.

The glee people had trashing everything gay, the original gay flag and any and all festivities during pride month was very telling. There’s a difference complaining about the furry and trans takeover and… whatever it is they do over there these days.

Also it’s just me being petty but a while ago I posted a thread with pictures of Blake Lively wearing suits (I mean what’s more lesbian than that) and it got deleted without any explanation so yeah bye.

Yeah last pride month really brought out the homophobes and made them way too comfortable hating on gay people.

ShameMustChangeSides

Feb 13 2025, 12:05 PM #21

(Feb 13 2025, 11:50 AM)lesbiansherlock Lesbians are only used as a counter argument against TIMs, when it’s convenient.

When it comes to standing up for us I found most people on Ovarit really insensitive and low key homophobic.

The glee people had trashing everything gay, the original gay flag and any and all festivities during pride month was very telling. There’s a difference complaining about the furry and trans takeover and… whatever it is they do over there these days.

Also it’s just me being petty but a while ago I posted a thread with pictures of Blake Lively wearing suits (I mean what’s more lesbian than that) and it got deleted without any explanation so yeah bye.

Yeah last pride month really brought out the homophobes and made them way too comfortable hating on gay people.

lesbiansherlock

Feb 13 2025, 12:22 PM

#22

(Feb 13 2025, 12:05 PM)ShameMustChangeSides
(Feb 13 2025, 11:50 AM)lesbiansherlock Lesbians are only used as a counter argument against TIMs, when it’s convenient.

When it comes to standing up for us I found most people on Ovarit really insensitive and low key homophobic.

The glee people had trashing everything gay, the original gay flag and any and all festivities during pride month was very telling. There’s a difference complaining about the furry and trans takeover and… whatever it is they do over there these days.

Also it’s just me being petty but a while ago I posted a thread with pictures of Blake Lively wearing suits (I mean what’s more lesbian than that) and it got deleted without any explanation so yeah bye.

Yeah last pride month really brought out the homophobes and made them way too comfortable hating on gay people.

Lol people lost it over a random town in Canada painting ONE crosswalk with rainbow colors… Says it all.

lesbiansherlock

Feb 13 2025, 12:22 PM #22

(Feb 13 2025, 12:05 PM)ShameMustChangeSides
(Feb 13 2025, 11:50 AM)lesbiansherlock Lesbians are only used as a counter argument against TIMs, when it’s convenient.

When it comes to standing up for us I found most people on Ovarit really insensitive and low key homophobic.

The glee people had trashing everything gay, the original gay flag and any and all festivities during pride month was very telling. There’s a difference complaining about the furry and trans takeover and… whatever it is they do over there these days.

Also it’s just me being petty but a while ago I posted a thread with pictures of Blake Lively wearing suits (I mean what’s more lesbian than that) and it got deleted without any explanation so yeah bye.

Yeah last pride month really brought out the homophobes and made them way too comfortable hating on gay people.

Lol people lost it over a random town in Canada painting ONE crosswalk with rainbow colors… Says it all.

komorebi
“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

240

Feb 13 2025, 1:00 PM

#23

(Feb 13 2025, 11:50 AM)lesbiansherlock When it comes to standing up for us I found most people on Ovarit really insensitive and low key homophobic.

The glee people had trashing everything gay, the original gay flag and any and all festivities during pride month was very telling. There’s a difference complaining about the furry and trans takeover and… whatever it is they do over there these days.

(Feb 13 2025, 12:05 PM)ShameMustChangeSides Yeah last pride month really brought out the homophobes and made them way too comfortable hating on gay people.

Yeah, the homophobia is pretty high-key, I'd say. 🫠 A whole lotta "I saw something rainbow-colored in a store and my delicate eyes can't handle it!!!"

komorebi

“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde

Feb 13 2025, 1:00 PM #23

(Feb 13 2025, 11:50 AM)lesbiansherlock When it comes to standing up for us I found most people on Ovarit really insensitive and low key homophobic.

The glee people had trashing everything gay, the original gay flag and any and all festivities during pride month was very telling. There’s a difference complaining about the furry and trans takeover and… whatever it is they do over there these days.

(Feb 13 2025, 12:05 PM)ShameMustChangeSides Yeah last pride month really brought out the homophobes and made them way too comfortable hating on gay people.

Yeah, the homophobia is pretty high-key, I'd say. 🫠 A whole lotta "I saw something rainbow-colored in a store and my delicate eyes can't handle it!!!"

lesbiansherlock

Feb 13 2025, 1:17 PM

#24

(Feb 13 2025, 1:00 PM)komorebi
(Feb 13 2025, 11:50 AM)lesbiansherlock When it comes to standing up for us I found most people on Ovarit really insensitive and low key homophobic.

The glee people had trashing everything gay, the original gay flag and any and all festivities during pride month was very telling. There’s a difference complaining about the furry and trans takeover and… whatever it is they do over there these days.

(Feb 13 2025, 12:05 PM)ShameMustChangeSides Yeah last pride month really brought out the homophobes and made them way too comfortable hating on gay people.

Yeah, the homophobia is pretty high-key, I'd say. 🫠 A whole lotta "I saw something rainbow-colored in a store and my delicate eyes can't handle it!!!"

I have no doubt that some people hide behind the strong anti-trans sentiment as a way to be not-so-subtly homophobic without getting called out.

It’s hard to prove to non-homosexual people that the « vibe » is homophobic without anything concrete or without insults to report.

lesbiansherlock

Feb 13 2025, 1:17 PM #24

(Feb 13 2025, 1:00 PM)komorebi
(Feb 13 2025, 11:50 AM)lesbiansherlock When it comes to standing up for us I found most people on Ovarit really insensitive and low key homophobic.

The glee people had trashing everything gay, the original gay flag and any and all festivities during pride month was very telling. There’s a difference complaining about the furry and trans takeover and… whatever it is they do over there these days.

(Feb 13 2025, 12:05 PM)ShameMustChangeSides Yeah last pride month really brought out the homophobes and made them way too comfortable hating on gay people.

Yeah, the homophobia is pretty high-key, I'd say. 🫠 A whole lotta "I saw something rainbow-colored in a store and my delicate eyes can't handle it!!!"

brusquette

Feb 15 2025, 2:25 AM

#25

I agree with everything that's been said here, but I also stopped really participating because a lot of the o/Lesbians posts were about 'fakebians.'

On the one hand, I know the social media trends a lot of this was in reference to show a lot of people, men included, trying to co-opt the lesbian identity.

But on the other hand, so much of the lesbian experience, current and historic, is gross disbelief that a woman could not like men. Men will disbelieve you because they want to f you, nice old church ladies will tell you it's a phase they had too because how much men suck but they 'got over' it, people will think your relationship and having sex isn't real because there's no penis involved, family will desperately cling to the date you had at 15 that they pressured you into or any crumb from your childhood, a lot of gay men will just straight up not really believe on some level that you exist.

brusquette

Feb 15 2025, 2:25 AM #25

sealwomyn

Feb 24 2025, 12:57 AM

#26

(Feb 12 2025, 5:07 PM)eyeswideopen I remember a discussion of new circles over there and suggesting that maybe we could merge the Gardening and Fiber Arts circles into one circle since they both are very low traffic and set up a new circle for women of color. My comment was deleted for "shit posting". At this point, the decision to not have a WOC circle is not bc they can't find a mod for it or for lack of resources. It's bc they don't want one.

For "shitposting"? That's patently ridiculous, oh my goddess! The women's organizing I do is primarily IRL and I can't imagine any of the organizers getting away with the sheer incoherent tomfoolery that online moderators do (online where they don't have to look in multiple aggrieved women's eyes who've donated time, energy, and money to their cause and try to justify their actions).

I used to chime in over there bringing up the WOC circle again anytime I saw someone ask for some other circle, and I don't think my comments got deleted but they sure got pretty universally ignored. I'm glad this site has a lot more circles? boards? whatever they're called

sealwomyn

Feb 24 2025, 12:57 AM #26

(Feb 12 2025, 5:07 PM)eyeswideopen I remember a discussion of new circles over there and suggesting that maybe we could merge the Gardening and Fiber Arts circles into one circle since they both are very low traffic and set up a new circle for women of color. My comment was deleted for "shit posting". At this point, the decision to not have a WOC circle is not bc they can't find a mod for it or for lack of resources. It's bc they don't want one.

sealwomyn

Feb 24 2025, 1:14 AM

#27

Quote:They're very defensive over white feminism, to the point where you can't even bring up nasty behavior from any white woman without the hivemind getting enraged.

Yes ugh that was incredibly transparent and annoying too, not only defending their white supremacy apologist youtube fakefem faves but just the constant threads pretending Karen is a real slur and that they've been personally harmed lmao.

Edited Feb 24 2025, 1:16 AM by sealwomyn.

sealwomyn

Feb 24 2025, 1:14 AM #27

Quote:They're very defensive over white feminism, to the point where you can't even bring up nasty behavior from any white woman without the hivemind getting enraged.

Wandering_Feminist56

Feb 24 2025, 3:21 AM

#28

(Feb 24 2025, 1:14 AM)sealwomyn
Quote:They're very defensive over white feminism, to the point where you can't even bring up nasty behavior from any white woman without the hivemind getting enraged.

Yes ugh that was incredibly transparent and annoying too, not only defending their white supremacy apologist youtube fakefem faves but just the constant threads pretending Karen is a real slur and that they've been personally harmed lmao.

I hope I'm not being horrible here, please tell me if I am.

I consider ''Karen'' as one of those things that started as a legitimate theme/thing, but it got watered down to any woman standing up for herself or others in any situation. People say ''well I was being a Karen'' as a bit of a self-deprecating thing, when they were doing really legitimate and necessary things.

I think it's both at the same time (legit, and a now-overused slur) Am I wrong in this?

This is not trying to take away from the issues with Ovarit with regard to race, to be clear. I've seen it myself, where they completely denied WoC's experiences, argued against a focus on how race intersects with misogyny, feminism and also that racism against black women doesn't exist as a distinct form of oppression. Obviously I heavily disagree with this.

Wandering_Feminist56

Feb 24 2025, 3:21 AM #28

(Feb 24 2025, 1:14 AM)sealwomyn
Quote:They're very defensive over white feminism, to the point where you can't even bring up nasty behavior from any white woman without the hivemind getting enraged.

Yes ugh that was incredibly transparent and annoying too, not only defending their white supremacy apologist youtube fakefem faves but just the constant threads pretending Karen is a real slur and that they've been personally harmed lmao.

ExitStageLeft

Feb 24 2025, 6:58 AM

#29

(Feb 24 2025, 3:21 AM)Wandering_Feminist56
(Feb 24 2025, 1:14 AM)sealwomyn
Quote:They're very defensive over white feminism, to the point where you can't even bring up nasty behavior from any white woman without the hivemind getting enraged.

Yes ugh that was incredibly transparent and annoying too, not only defending their white supremacy apologist youtube fakefem faves but just the constant threads pretending Karen is a real slur and that they've been personally harmed lmao.

I hope I'm not being horrible here, please tell me if I am.

I consider ''Karen'' as one of those things that started as a legitimate theme/thing, but it got watered down to any woman standing up for herself or others in any situation. People say ''well I was being a Karen'' as a bit of a self-deprecating thing, when they were doing really legitimate and necessary things.

I think it's both at the same time (legit, and a now-overused slur) Am I wrong in this?

This is not trying to take away from the issues with Ovarit with regard to race, to be clear. I've seen it myself, where they completely denied WoC's experiences, argued against a focus on how race intersects with misogyny, feminism and also that racism against black women doesn't exist as a distinct form of oppression. Obviously I heavily disagree with this.

I agree that "Karen" has become another way to call women "b*tch" or others slurs. I was called a Karen for telling a man (white man) to stop bothering two teenage girls sitting in a coffee shop. He was probably in his mid-30s and would not leave them alone. They both looked incredibly uncomfortable.

My friend was called it by an entire table of young men at a cafeteria. I won't go into the details here but Karen is not the only thing they called her.

It did start as a way to rightfully critique white women, but it is now used to insult any woman for being anything other than demure.

ExitStageLeft

Feb 24 2025, 6:58 AM #29

(Feb 24 2025, 3:21 AM)Wandering_Feminist56
(Feb 24 2025, 1:14 AM)sealwomyn
Quote:They're very defensive over white feminism, to the point where you can't even bring up nasty behavior from any white woman without the hivemind getting enraged.

Yes ugh that was incredibly transparent and annoying too, not only defending their white supremacy apologist youtube fakefem faves but just the constant threads pretending Karen is a real slur and that they've been personally harmed lmao.

I hope I'm not being horrible here, please tell me if I am.

I consider ''Karen'' as one of those things that started as a legitimate theme/thing, but it got watered down to any woman standing up for herself or others in any situation. People say ''well I was being a Karen'' as a bit of a self-deprecating thing, when they were doing really legitimate and necessary things.

I think it's both at the same time (legit, and a now-overused slur) Am I wrong in this?

This is not trying to take away from the issues with Ovarit with regard to race, to be clear. I've seen it myself, where they completely denied WoC's experiences, argued against a focus on how race intersects with misogyny, feminism and also that racism against black women doesn't exist as a distinct form of oppression. Obviously I heavily disagree with this.

YesYourNigel

117

Feb 24 2025, 5:05 PM

#30

(Feb 24 2025, 3:21 AM)Wandering_Feminist56 [quote pid="2026" dateline="1740384897"]
I hope I'm not being horrible here, please tell me if I am.

[/quote]
No-one should feel horrible for questioning what other women here are saying, or even uninentionally having un-feminist takes, as long as they are genuinely trying to employ and understand feminist reasoning instead of getting defensive over the patriarchy. I would hope that women here hold other women to scrutiny for the sake of strenghtening our reasoning and counter-arguments, instead of having to agree with everyone for the sake of "unity" and "getting along" - that's how you get echo chambers and milquetoast feminism where everyone awkwardly avoids uncomfortable questions (I'll make an exception for basic feminism 101 understanding of how the patriarchy works - people who don't have that understanding clearly resisted putting in even the most basic amount of work and understanding to feminist reasoning)

"Karen" is undoubtedly a misogynistic insult (and I question its validity given how much more common it is for men to get violent or broody or act like wailing brats, with their wives needing to damage control or calm them down), I think we can all agree on that. What it isn't is a racist slur. Slurs that target white-women for being WOMEN does not prove that white people are targetted for their skin colour. Conservative women and cool-girls love to pretend that it does because that allows their Nigels to redirect the convo to their white male persecution complex and MeMeMeMe while women default to their usual cheerleader status for men (all the while lying to themselves that their Nigel is passionate about this injustice because he's concerned about women's rights). White people do not deal with an organised societal historical system of oppression based on their skin colour, and white women being hated for being women does not prove that they do.

I refuse to debate two obvious facts: 1. the patriarchy exists 2. and that's a bad thing

YesYourNigel

Feb 24 2025, 5:05 PM #30

(Feb 24 2025, 3:21 AM)Wandering_Feminist56 [quote pid="2026" dateline="1740384897"]
I hope I'm not being horrible here, please tell me if I am.

I refuse to debate two obvious facts: 1. the patriarchy exists 2. and that's a bad thing

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