cloven hooves The Personal Is Political General Discussion For women opposed to male gynecologists, have you noticed that opinion being ridiculed?

Discussion For women opposed to male gynecologists, have you noticed that opinion being ridiculed?

Discussion For women opposed to male gynecologists, have you noticed that opinion being ridiculed?

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flytraps_
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Feb 12 2025, 5:18 AM
#1
I watched a video I had in my watch later for awhile about the secret service issues months ago being blamed on women, and in the video there was a clip of Candace Owen’s saying how she wouldn’t want a female pilot. 

It got me thinking back to discussions I’ve had both online and irl about how I wouldn’t ever see a male gynecologist and some other women wouldn’t either. Opinions like Owen’s are seen as the norm and met with very little backlash even from most liberals. Despite the fact that there is no data backing the claim women would be poor pilots, engineers, etc. 

But when I’ve expressed my opinion on male gynecologists or seen other women have similar sentiments, it’s met with disdain by everyone from conservatives to liberals. Despite the fact that male gynecologists have historically used the field to abuse women. Despite the fact that the majority of rapists are male and the majority of the people they attack are female. Despite the fact that the healthcare sector as a whole has historically abused women. Women and girls who state they don’t want male gynecologists are told we’re being unreasonable, immature, stupid, paranoid, etc. By everyone from random people online to close family members. 

There is no empathy or understanding for our experiences, there is no nuanced discussion, it’s not an accepted idea in society. The very notion that men shouldn’t be gynecologists is seen as extremist and irrational. I was wondering what the experiences of women here were because I was thinking more of you would understand my pov on it, and might even agree with me.
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flytraps_
Feb 12 2025, 5:18 AM #1

I watched a video I had in my watch later for awhile about the secret service issues months ago being blamed on women, and in the video there was a clip of Candace Owen’s saying how she wouldn’t want a female pilot. 

It got me thinking back to discussions I’ve had both online and irl about how I wouldn’t ever see a male gynecologist and some other women wouldn’t either. Opinions like Owen’s are seen as the norm and met with very little backlash even from most liberals. Despite the fact that there is no data backing the claim women would be poor pilots, engineers, etc. 

But when I’ve expressed my opinion on male gynecologists or seen other women have similar sentiments, it’s met with disdain by everyone from conservatives to liberals. Despite the fact that male gynecologists have historically used the field to abuse women. Despite the fact that the majority of rapists are male and the majority of the people they attack are female. Despite the fact that the healthcare sector as a whole has historically abused women. Women and girls who state they don’t want male gynecologists are told we’re being unreasonable, immature, stupid, paranoid, etc. By everyone from random people online to close family members. 

There is no empathy or understanding for our experiences, there is no nuanced discussion, it’s not an accepted idea in society. The very notion that men shouldn’t be gynecologists is seen as extremist and irrational. I was wondering what the experiences of women here were because I was thinking more of you would understand my pov on it, and might even agree with me.

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Lemonade
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Feb 12 2025, 7:01 AM
#2
There is definitely a push from all sides (for different reasons) to frame wanting a female gynecologist as "misandry" equal to what men say about women. No analysis about maybe why "women shouldn't vote" or "women shouldn't be allowed to own property" isn't the same as "I would like someone with a vagina inspecting my vagina."  or, God forbid, "I am suspicious of men who become gynecologists." I think we should socially pressure men out of the field tbh.


I've felt a similar push with therapists. I really haven't had luck with therapy personally, but I was convinced to talk to a male one once (partially because he was the only one that I could get in to see at the time, partially because the people around me treated me like I was crazy for not wanting a male therapist) but it quickly became apparent that I needed to discuss female specific trauma and that there is no degree or experience that would make this man empathetic to me. When I tried to cross the subject of having an abusive relationship as a teenager, he kind of dismissed it as "that's the kind of thing you can get over with time". 🙄

Anywhere this comes up online, there always has to be someone. Even on Ovarit, anytime someone mentioned wanting a female gyno, someone swoops in talking about how their female gyno was terrible and how great their male gyno is. Like... okay? I had a female gyno I didn't like either, but I still don't want a man giving me a pap smear?

Side story, when I had my baby my obgyn was on vacation and the on call was a man. He was asking me questions and I told him to wait when I would have a contraction. He got huffy and told me I needed to answer him. 🤨 sir please.
Edited Feb 12 2025, 7:01 AM by Lemonade.
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Lemonade
Feb 12 2025, 7:01 AM #2

There is definitely a push from all sides (for different reasons) to frame wanting a female gynecologist as "misandry" equal to what men say about women. No analysis about maybe why "women shouldn't vote" or "women shouldn't be allowed to own property" isn't the same as "I would like someone with a vagina inspecting my vagina."  or, God forbid, "I am suspicious of men who become gynecologists." I think we should socially pressure men out of the field tbh.


I've felt a similar push with therapists. I really haven't had luck with therapy personally, but I was convinced to talk to a male one once (partially because he was the only one that I could get in to see at the time, partially because the people around me treated me like I was crazy for not wanting a male therapist) but it quickly became apparent that I needed to discuss female specific trauma and that there is no degree or experience that would make this man empathetic to me. When I tried to cross the subject of having an abusive relationship as a teenager, he kind of dismissed it as "that's the kind of thing you can get over with time". 🙄

Anywhere this comes up online, there always has to be someone. Even on Ovarit, anytime someone mentioned wanting a female gyno, someone swoops in talking about how their female gyno was terrible and how great their male gyno is. Like... okay? I had a female gyno I didn't like either, but I still don't want a man giving me a pap smear?

Side story, when I had my baby my obgyn was on vacation and the on call was a man. He was asking me questions and I told him to wait when I would have a contraction. He got huffy and told me I needed to answer him. 🤨 sir please.

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flytraps_
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Feb 12 2025, 8:11 AM
#3
(Feb 12 2025, 7:01 AM)Lemonade isn't the same as "I would like someone with a vagina inspecting my vagina."  or, God forbid, "I am suspicious of men who become gynecologists." I think we should socially pressure men out of the field tbh.

Anywhere this comes up online, there always has to be someone. Even on Ovarit, anytime someone mentioned wanting a female gyno, someone swoops in talking about how their female gyno was terrible and how great their male gyno is. Like... okay? I had a female gyno I didn't like either, but I still don't want a man giving me a pap smear?

Side story, when I had my baby my obgyn was on vacation and the on call was a man. He was asking me questions and I told him to wait when I would have a contraction. He got huffy and told me I needed to answer him. 🤨 sir please.

Men and even other women always try to reframe this as you being paranoid or self centered somehow when you say you’re suspicious of male gynos. It’s a bizarre reaction to me. Tbh the only reason I’m not fully against men in the field is because there are some women who prefer male gynos. But I really do think we’d be better off if it was only women becoming obgyns. 

Also I’m glad you mentioned the thing where they always have to talk about their great male gynecologists. Like okay, good for you, but I haven’t had that experience and would prefer a woman. It just feels like an attempt to get you to change your mind and give in.  The entire conversation is so dismissive. There’s also the issue of physical comfort which isn’t talked about much but Id imagine physical exams would be more painful with a male doctor than a female one. 

“he got huffy and told me I needed to answer him” How do these overgrown toddlers get license to practice? The patient is always supposed to be the priority in those situations.
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flytraps_
Feb 12 2025, 8:11 AM #3

(Feb 12 2025, 7:01 AM)Lemonade isn't the same as "I would like someone with a vagina inspecting my vagina."  or, God forbid, "I am suspicious of men who become gynecologists." I think we should socially pressure men out of the field tbh.

Anywhere this comes up online, there always has to be someone. Even on Ovarit, anytime someone mentioned wanting a female gyno, someone swoops in talking about how their female gyno was terrible and how great their male gyno is. Like... okay? I had a female gyno I didn't like either, but I still don't want a man giving me a pap smear?

Side story, when I had my baby my obgyn was on vacation and the on call was a man. He was asking me questions and I told him to wait when I would have a contraction. He got huffy and told me I needed to answer him. 🤨 sir please.

Men and even other women always try to reframe this as you being paranoid or self centered somehow when you say you’re suspicious of male gynos. It’s a bizarre reaction to me. Tbh the only reason I’m not fully against men in the field is because there are some women who prefer male gynos. But I really do think we’d be better off if it was only women becoming obgyns. 

Also I’m glad you mentioned the thing where they always have to talk about their great male gynecologists. Like okay, good for you, but I haven’t had that experience and would prefer a woman. It just feels like an attempt to get you to change your mind and give in.  The entire conversation is so dismissive. There’s also the issue of physical comfort which isn’t talked about much but Id imagine physical exams would be more painful with a male doctor than a female one. 

“he got huffy and told me I needed to answer him” How do these overgrown toddlers get license to practice? The patient is always supposed to be the priority in those situations.

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Clover
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Feb 12 2025, 11:39 AM
#4
I've also noticed that thing that happens when someone doesn't like male gynecologists on Ovarit and some women feel the need to swoop in and talk about how their male gynecologists are great. It reminds me of the whole "not my Nigel" attitude.

Hell, not only would I only look for a female gynecologist, I already only look for female doctors and female therapists. I also think it's funny when they claim "well being a woman doesn't make one necessarily good at being a gynecologist/doctor/therapist for other women" and then share stories about terrible experiences with female gynecologists or doctors or therapists. Yeah, well there's plenty of shitty male doctors too and yet somehow we just see them as doctors not "male doctors." Because male is the default. It also reminds me of that XKCD comic about how when a man sucks at math people say "wow, you suck at math", but when a woman sucks at math, they say "wow, women suck at math." I'd rather take my chances having a bad experience with a female doctor/gynecologist/therapist, than go to a male one. Because then I'm just gonna go find a new female doctor/gynecologist/therapist.

And yes, it's crazy to see how misogynistic the world is where a woman can say "I don't want/trust a female pilot" and no one bats an eye, but a woman can say "I don't want/trust a male gynecologist" and everybody loses their minds.

Lemonade Side story, when I had my baby my obgyn was on vacation and the on call was a man. He was asking me questions and I told him to wait when I would have a contraction. He got huffy and told me I needed to answer him. 🤨 sir please.
Straight to jail. And medical license revoked. :meowqueen:
Edited Feb 12 2025, 11:42 AM by Clover.
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Clover
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Feb 12 2025, 11:39 AM #4

I've also noticed that thing that happens when someone doesn't like male gynecologists on Ovarit and some women feel the need to swoop in and talk about how their male gynecologists are great. It reminds me of the whole "not my Nigel" attitude.

Hell, not only would I only look for a female gynecologist, I already only look for female doctors and female therapists. I also think it's funny when they claim "well being a woman doesn't make one necessarily good at being a gynecologist/doctor/therapist for other women" and then share stories about terrible experiences with female gynecologists or doctors or therapists. Yeah, well there's plenty of shitty male doctors too and yet somehow we just see them as doctors not "male doctors." Because male is the default. It also reminds me of that XKCD comic about how when a man sucks at math people say "wow, you suck at math", but when a woman sucks at math, they say "wow, women suck at math." I'd rather take my chances having a bad experience with a female doctor/gynecologist/therapist, than go to a male one. Because then I'm just gonna go find a new female doctor/gynecologist/therapist.

And yes, it's crazy to see how misogynistic the world is where a woman can say "I don't want/trust a female pilot" and no one bats an eye, but a woman can say "I don't want/trust a male gynecologist" and everybody loses their minds.

Lemonade Side story, when I had my baby my obgyn was on vacation and the on call was a man. He was asking me questions and I told him to wait when I would have a contraction. He got huffy and told me I needed to answer him. 🤨 sir please.
Straight to jail. And medical license revoked. :meowqueen:

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ShameMustChangeSides
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Feb 12 2025, 12:56 PM
#5
(Feb 12 2025, 7:01 AM)Lemonade Anywhere this comes up online, there always has to be someone. Even on Ovarit, anytime someone mentioned wanting a female gyno, someone swoops in talking about how their female gyno was terrible and how great their male gyno is. Like... okay? I had a female gyno I didn't like either, but I still don't want a man giving me a pap smear?

NAMALT, medical edition.
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ShameMustChangeSides
Feb 12 2025, 12:56 PM #5

(Feb 12 2025, 7:01 AM)Lemonade Anywhere this comes up online, there always has to be someone. Even on Ovarit, anytime someone mentioned wanting a female gyno, someone swoops in talking about how their female gyno was terrible and how great their male gyno is. Like... okay? I had a female gyno I didn't like either, but I still don't want a man giving me a pap smear?

NAMALT, medical edition.

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YesYourNigel
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Feb 12 2025, 9:19 PM
#6
There are plenty of shitty female gynos but there aren't plenty of shitty female gynos who consume violent porn on a daily basis and fantasise about doing that to women, nor shitty female gynos who use the field to creep on and assault women. Nor are there plenty of shitty female gynos who think they know better by virtue of being male and deserving to control and silence women for that reason (the closest you may get are the female enablers that parrot male "wisdom" but that doesn't come close to the male attitude of knowing better on any topic than silly women by virtue of being male).
Edited Feb 12 2025, 9:21 PM by YesYourNigel.
I refuse to debate two obvious facts: 1. the patriarchy exists 2. and that's a bad thing
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YesYourNigel
Feb 12 2025, 9:19 PM #6

There are plenty of shitty female gynos but there aren't plenty of shitty female gynos who consume violent porn on a daily basis and fantasise about doing that to women, nor shitty female gynos who use the field to creep on and assault women. Nor are there plenty of shitty female gynos who think they know better by virtue of being male and deserving to control and silence women for that reason (the closest you may get are the female enablers that parrot male "wisdom" but that doesn't come close to the male attitude of knowing better on any topic than silly women by virtue of being male).

I refuse to debate two obvious facts: 1. the patriarchy exists 2. and that's a bad thing

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ShameMustChangeSides
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Feb 12 2025, 10:00 PM
#7
(Feb 12 2025, 9:19 PM)YesYourNigel There are plenty of shitty female gynos but there aren't plenty of shitty female gynos who consume violent porn on a daily basis and fantasise about doing that to women, nor shitty female gynos who use the field to creep on and assault women. Nor are there plenty of shitty female gynos who think they know better by virtue of being male and deserving to control and silence women for that reason (the closest you may get are the female enablers that parrot male "wisdom" but that doesn't come close to the male attitude of knowing better on any topic than silly women by virtue of being male).

Yeah if I had a female gyno I'd never have to wonder if she goes home and gets off to the thought of me or gets turned on by examining me. And that matters.
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ShameMustChangeSides
Feb 12 2025, 10:00 PM #7

(Feb 12 2025, 9:19 PM)YesYourNigel There are plenty of shitty female gynos but there aren't plenty of shitty female gynos who consume violent porn on a daily basis and fantasise about doing that to women, nor shitty female gynos who use the field to creep on and assault women. Nor are there plenty of shitty female gynos who think they know better by virtue of being male and deserving to control and silence women for that reason (the closest you may get are the female enablers that parrot male "wisdom" but that doesn't come close to the male attitude of knowing better on any topic than silly women by virtue of being male).

Yeah if I had a female gyno I'd never have to wonder if she goes home and gets off to the thought of me or gets turned on by examining me. And that matters.

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komorebi
“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde
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Feb 13 2025, 12:55 PM
#8
flytraps: I, too, strongly prefer female gynaes and am a little weirded out by women who prefer male ones. I think your opinion is totally normal; I've never met in person a woman who said they preferred a male gynae, but I think that's just evidence I live in some kind of bubble. 🤣 I've definitely seen that view expressed online. After some past terrible experiences, I also just prefer female doctors in general. I've had bad experiences with female doctors and I *still* prefer them because the bad experiences I've had with male doctors have been way, WAY worse.

Unfortunately, despite my expressed preference for a female gynae, I had to have a male gynae pretty recently (for a time-sensitive ultrasound). It was...uncomfortable. Not like, "report him to the board" uncomfortable but just like. Weird and awkward, lol. It was possible he'd been informed about my preference and knew that the situation just sucked.

My only reason for not saying that all gynaes should be female is that unfortunately, in practice, I don't think there'd be enough gynaecologists. But apart from just making up the numbers, I honestly just don't know why dudes go into the field at all. There are way too many malicious answers to that question for me to not side-eye them a little.
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komorebi
“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” – Audre Lorde
Feb 13 2025, 12:55 PM #8

flytraps: I, too, strongly prefer female gynaes and am a little weirded out by women who prefer male ones. I think your opinion is totally normal; I've never met in person a woman who said they preferred a male gynae, but I think that's just evidence I live in some kind of bubble. 🤣 I've definitely seen that view expressed online. After some past terrible experiences, I also just prefer female doctors in general. I've had bad experiences with female doctors and I *still* prefer them because the bad experiences I've had with male doctors have been way, WAY worse.

Unfortunately, despite my expressed preference for a female gynae, I had to have a male gynae pretty recently (for a time-sensitive ultrasound). It was...uncomfortable. Not like, "report him to the board" uncomfortable but just like. Weird and awkward, lol. It was possible he'd been informed about my preference and knew that the situation just sucked.

My only reason for not saying that all gynaes should be female is that unfortunately, in practice, I don't think there'd be enough gynaecologists. But apart from just making up the numbers, I honestly just don't know why dudes go into the field at all. There are way too many malicious answers to that question for me to not side-eye them a little.

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wormwood
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Feb 13 2025, 10:33 PM
#9
I prefer female doctors generally but I will not see a male gynaecologist, not ever again.

I have a chronic dermatological condition  and a traumatic childhood experience because of it (I don’t want to discuss it at the moment but it involves medical misogyny and male doctors) and I have been asking for female doctors ever since I was in charge of my own care.

When I asked my male family doctor to recommend a woman gynaecologist, it was the 1990s. He said “do you want a woman gynaecologist or the best gynaecologist?”

I said “I want the best gynaecologist and if you don’t know her, I can ask another doctor”. I saw his smug little smile at the first words, but he sent me to a wonderful woman. I never spoke to him again.

The first time I saw a male gynaecologist as an adult a male doctor relative-by-marriage recommended him. I was in a bad way medically (did I mention the chronic condition is in the groin? It was exacerbated by menopause and an infection. It was really distressing) and argued my case but my relationship with that relative and his insistence made me back down. I did ask my blood relative his wife to go with me, so she was there as I shook uncontrollably after getting off the table, unable to flit on my clothes I was trembling so hard.

The second time I saw a male doctor for this condition as an adult it was a specialist vulva clinic of the public health system in the country I then lived in. Two doctors, one woman, one man. The man was a dermatologist. I had waited for the appointment for months.
Again I shook with reaction, apologising constantly. They didn’t prescribe anything useful and I was so shamed by my fawning it took days to recover emotionally.

I have female doctors now, in a different public health system, and they have been able to help me, some.

I am never getting bullied or sweet-talked, personally or institutionally, into seeing a male doctor again. I make exceptions for dentists and ophthalmologists, with whom I have been lucky, but no taking off my clothes for doctors who aren’t women.

*little edit to the story about my family doctor because I’d mixed up two versions of introducing the context. I really should have coffee before posting here.
Edited Feb 14 2025, 1:36 PM by wormwood.
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wormwood
Feb 13 2025, 10:33 PM #9

I prefer female doctors generally but I will not see a male gynaecologist, not ever again.

I have a chronic dermatological condition  and a traumatic childhood experience because of it (I don’t want to discuss it at the moment but it involves medical misogyny and male doctors) and I have been asking for female doctors ever since I was in charge of my own care.

When I asked my male family doctor to recommend a woman gynaecologist, it was the 1990s. He said “do you want a woman gynaecologist or the best gynaecologist?”

I said “I want the best gynaecologist and if you don’t know her, I can ask another doctor”. I saw his smug little smile at the first words, but he sent me to a wonderful woman. I never spoke to him again.

The first time I saw a male gynaecologist as an adult a male doctor relative-by-marriage recommended him. I was in a bad way medically (did I mention the chronic condition is in the groin? It was exacerbated by menopause and an infection. It was really distressing) and argued my case but my relationship with that relative and his insistence made me back down. I did ask my blood relative his wife to go with me, so she was there as I shook uncontrollably after getting off the table, unable to flit on my clothes I was trembling so hard.

The second time I saw a male doctor for this condition as an adult it was a specialist vulva clinic of the public health system in the country I then lived in. Two doctors, one woman, one man. The man was a dermatologist. I had waited for the appointment for months.
Again I shook with reaction, apologising constantly. They didn’t prescribe anything useful and I was so shamed by my fawning it took days to recover emotionally.

I have female doctors now, in a different public health system, and they have been able to help me, some.

I am never getting bullied or sweet-talked, personally or institutionally, into seeing a male doctor again. I make exceptions for dentists and ophthalmologists, with whom I have been lucky, but no taking off my clothes for doctors who aren’t women.

*little edit to the story about my family doctor because I’d mixed up two versions of introducing the context. I really should have coffee before posting here.

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Clover
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Feb 14 2025, 12:23 AM
#10
(Feb 13 2025, 10:33 PM)wormwood The first time I asked my male family doctor to recommend a woman gynaecologist was in the 1990s. He said “do you want a woman gynaecologist or the best gynaecologist?”

I said “I want the best gynaecologist and if you don’t know her, I can ask another doctor”. I saw his smug little smile at the first words, but he sent me to a wonderful woman. I never spoke to him again.
Queen. :meowqueen:
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Clover
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Feb 14 2025, 12:23 AM #10

(Feb 13 2025, 10:33 PM)wormwood The first time I asked my male family doctor to recommend a woman gynaecologist was in the 1990s. He said “do you want a woman gynaecologist or the best gynaecologist?”

I said “I want the best gynaecologist and if you don’t know her, I can ask another doctor”. I saw his smug little smile at the first words, but he sent me to a wonderful woman. I never spoke to him again.
Queen. :meowqueen:

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