why has sexual choking become so prevalent among young people?
why has sexual choking become so prevalent among young people?
why has sexual choking become so prevalent among young people?
why has sexual choking become so prevalent among young people?
Quote:“It kind of feels like a very ultimate form of intimacy, in the way that someone actually genuinely trusts you with their life,” he says.
Every now and then I think about dating again, and then I remember that before sleeping with any man I would have to explicitly tell him "I do not want you to strangle me" because otherwise there's a good chance he'll do it without asking, even if he seems like a kind man up till that point. I know from my friends who date that it's just expected at this point, at least in our area and age group, and treated the same as nonviolent sex acts.
Society is just really broken if being violent with your sex partner is just status quo.
edit because I wasn't done reading the article
Quote:“It kind of feels like a very ultimate form of intimacy, in the way that someone actually genuinely trusts you with their life,” he says.
I read a sex scene in a book (Fiona and Jane by Jean Ho) where choking/strangling was weirdly tender, not violent or confrontational, just the man cutting off the woman’s breath to heighten her pleasure. It’s still dumb and I wouldn’t do it, but it gave me a different perspective on how people who do it see it.
(Mar 24 2025, 1:03 PM)VerdantHorizon edit because I wasn't done reading the articlelol I feel men like this just parrot what women say to cover their asses - like with BDSM where women wax philisophical about how "intimate" and "trusting" it is and how incredibly important it is for consent, whereas men are just jerking each other off to slurs. Men are just so unconcerned with the deeper emotional aspects of it that women project onto it unless they need to make themselves seem less sus to draw in more victims.
Quote:“It kind of feels like a very ultimate form of intimacy, in the way that someone actually genuinely trusts you with their life,” he says.
(Mar 24 2025, 1:03 PM)VerdantHorizon edit because I wasn't done reading the articlelol I feel men like this just parrot what women say to cover their asses - like with BDSM where women wax philisophical about how "intimate" and "trusting" it is and how incredibly important it is for consent, whereas men are just jerking each other off to slurs. Men are just so unconcerned with the deeper emotional aspects of it that women project onto it unless they need to make themselves seem less sus to draw in more victims.
Quote:“It kind of feels like a very ultimate form of intimacy, in the way that someone actually genuinely trusts you with their life,” he says.
(Mar 24 2025, 5:49 PM)Feministunderyrbed I read a sex scene in a book (Fiona and Jane by Jean Ho) where choking/strangling was weirdly tender, not violent or confrontational, just the man cutting off the woman’s breath to heighten her pleasure. It’s still dumb and I wouldn’t do it, but it gave me a different perspective on how people who do it see it.
(Mar 24 2025, 5:49 PM)Feministunderyrbed I read a sex scene in a book (Fiona and Jane by Jean Ho) where choking/strangling was weirdly tender, not violent or confrontational, just the man cutting off the woman’s breath to heighten her pleasure. It’s still dumb and I wouldn’t do it, but it gave me a different perspective on how people who do it see it.
(Mar 26 2025, 12:45 PM)Puffin(Mar 24 2025, 5:49 PM)Feministunderyrbed I read a sex scene in a book (Fiona and Jane by Jean Ho) where choking/strangling was weirdly tender, not violent or confrontational, just the man cutting off the woman’s breath to heighten her pleasure. It’s still dumb and I wouldn’t do it, but it gave me a different perspective on how people who do it see it.
Tender strangulation is an oxymoron. It's not like men are some alien species who don't know humans need oxygen to survive, they know what strangulation is, they know they're playing chicken with death. There are 100 other ways to heighten a woman's pleasure that don't involve risking her life. I don't see how cutting off someone's oxygen supply can be anything but violent.
(Mar 26 2025, 12:45 PM)Puffin(Mar 24 2025, 5:49 PM)Feministunderyrbed I read a sex scene in a book (Fiona and Jane by Jean Ho) where choking/strangling was weirdly tender, not violent or confrontational, just the man cutting off the woman’s breath to heighten her pleasure. It’s still dumb and I wouldn’t do it, but it gave me a different perspective on how people who do it see it.
Tender strangulation is an oxymoron. It's not like men are some alien species who don't know humans need oxygen to survive, they know what strangulation is, they know they're playing chicken with death. There are 100 other ways to heighten a woman's pleasure that don't involve risking her life. I don't see how cutting off someone's oxygen supply can be anything but violent.
(Mar 26 2025, 12:45 PM)PuffinI know nothing about this kink but does the way it's practiced actually involve cutting off oxygen supply? I always thought it's just grabbing a person's neck, but not literally suffocating them (though obviously it's easy for it to escalate to the latter).(Mar 24 2025, 5:49 PM)Feministunderyrbed I read a sex scene in a book (Fiona and Jane by Jean Ho) where choking/strangling was weirdly tender, not violent or confrontational, just the man cutting off the woman’s breath to heighten her pleasure. It’s still dumb and I wouldn’t do it, but it gave me a different perspective on how people who do it see it.
Tender strangulation is an oxymoron. It's not like men are some alien species who don't know humans need oxygen to survive, they know what strangulation is, they know they're playing chicken with death. There are 100 other ways to heighten a woman's pleasure that don't involve risking her life. I don't see how cutting off someone's oxygen supply can be anything but violent.
(Mar 26 2025, 12:45 PM)PuffinI know nothing about this kink but does the way it's practiced actually involve cutting off oxygen supply? I always thought it's just grabbing a person's neck, but not literally suffocating them (though obviously it's easy for it to escalate to the latter).(Mar 24 2025, 5:49 PM)Feministunderyrbed I read a sex scene in a book (Fiona and Jane by Jean Ho) where choking/strangling was weirdly tender, not violent or confrontational, just the man cutting off the woman’s breath to heighten her pleasure. It’s still dumb and I wouldn’t do it, but it gave me a different perspective on how people who do it see it.
Tender strangulation is an oxymoron. It's not like men are some alien species who don't know humans need oxygen to survive, they know what strangulation is, they know they're playing chicken with death. There are 100 other ways to heighten a woman's pleasure that don't involve risking her life. I don't see how cutting off someone's oxygen supply can be anything but violent.
(Mar 26 2025, 6:03 PM)YesYourNigel I know nothing about this kink but does the way it's practiced actually involve cutting off oxygen supply? I always thought it's just grabbing a person's neck, but not literally suffocating them (though obviously it's easy for it to escalate to the latter).
(Mar 26 2025, 6:03 PM)YesYourNigel I know nothing about this kink but does the way it's practiced actually involve cutting off oxygen supply? I always thought it's just grabbing a person's neck, but not literally suffocating them (though obviously it's easy for it to escalate to the latter).
The last thing I want to do is promote strangulation, but I think men have a history of self-strangulation while masturbating, to the point that some men have accidentally hanged themselves (e.g. Michael Hutchence, the singer from 1980’s band INXS). Supposedly the oxygen deprivation heightens something something, I don’t want to go into it any further. I’m sure some men like choking because they like the idea of (nearly, lol) killing a woman. But I can still see some of it as just another dangerous sexual practice.
Autoerotic strangulation is a real thing some men do.
And the eroticising of male violence against women is a thing patriarchy does, so I’m not surprised there’s tender choking in a novel.
I stopped dating too long ago to have experienced this, but it’s a porn thing, right? Porn shows women being choked because porn gets more violent the more its audience gets jaded, because it’s a hell of symbol of male domination, because it’s visually compelling. And as porn becomes ubiquitous, as, what, two generations now learn their sexual vocabulary from porn, what had been rare becomes common.
