Why is J. K. Rowling going after asexuals now?

clovenhooves The Personal Is Political General Discussion Why is J. K. Rowling going after asexuals now?

Discussion Why is J. K. Rowling going after asexuals now?

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Elsacat

317

Apr 8 2025, 7:35 AM

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/j-k-rowling-faces-backlash-152421217.html

I get how "I'm ace/aro/demi/xyz, look at me" is annoying but come on, this isn't like TIPs pushing their way into women's sports and spaces, or medicalizing kids, or trying to redefine what biological sex actually is.

Am I missing something here? Is there some actual reason to get assmad about International Asexuality Day instead of ignoring it if it doesn't apply? I didn't even know International Asexuality Day was a thing until I saw articles and tweets about her getting upset about it.

Elsacat

Apr 8 2025, 7:35 AM #1

MenacinglyLavender
Fesbian Leminist🪻

Apr 8 2025, 9:01 AM

Yeah, this feels like pointless pot stirring. I definitely have my issues with the ace community as a whole (they basically forced their way into the greater LGBTQ community, while having a major homophobia problem), but there’s no issue with asexual people taking an opportunity to talk about their experiences and celebrate themselves….

This feels so silly.

MenacinglyLavender

Fesbian Leminist🪻

Apr 8 2025, 9:01 AM #2

eyeswideopen

Apr 8 2025, 9:05 AM

I read JKR's tweets and I don't think she's angry - just mocking the movement for it's inherent silliness. But anything she tweets that is associated with gender is going to be interpreted as an attack. There are more important issues to be concerned with, imho, but it's her social media account.

eyeswideopen

Apr 8 2025, 9:05 AM #3

skunk

Apr 8 2025, 9:08 AM

Nah, for the most part, asexuals don't do much of anything, i hardly even see them being cringy besides when theyre being nonsensical (like people who call themselves asexual but apparently love sex? What?) and I can't say I've personally seen asexual people claiming they're horribly oppressed or something. For the most part, I don't see any issue with them and don't really see why she felt the need to go after them. Its not a great look and they're not really hurting anyone. People who aren't interested in sex in a society that's become intensely hypersexual is not really a concern for me. Maybe cause I can relate to them to some degree. I dont get the shit stirring, but its disappointing. It makes her look shitty, where as she had an actual point when it came to trans people.

Edited Apr 8 2025, 9:09 AM by skunk.

skunk

Apr 8 2025, 9:08 AM #4

Sunny

Apr 8 2025, 9:49 AM

I am extremely wary (and weary, tbh) of asexual people. One of the few times I went to a face to face LGBT meetup there was a straight couple there claiming they were asexual but then brought up that they did have sex. (This was a dinner meant for socializing, it wasn't relevant they just wanted to blurt that out). My exhusband, a serial rapist who raped me for over a decade, uses that to cover up his past and claim he's a changed man. Well woman, as he's a TIM, but y'know. Two other "ace" males who I interacted with IRL used it to prey on people as well, myself included. I never, ever believe men about their supposed asexuality now. (Even less so aromanticism.)

The ones I've met online have largely been insufferable and cringe worthy, the stereotype of the neopronoun gendie with a list of popular mental disorders they claim to have, then they turn out to be sexually abused TIFs or "cis" women just trying to get away from sexual pressure from men due to trauma.

Anyway I have no problem with what she said, I often feel the same way about ace folks.

Sunny

Apr 8 2025, 9:49 AM #5

Chernobog

Apr 8 2025, 11:13 AM

You're so right for this and I need to rant about it so I stop monopolizing the conversation all over Discord lol

My biggest peeve with making a debate out of "asexuality" is WHY this matters to anyone. WHY does it matter to you if someone refuses sex in certain contexts or indefinitely or permanently? Is it a fundamental, inalienable right to refuse sex at any time, for any reason or not? Why do we need to play green eggs and ham with people's sexuality, which should be fucking private ffs, until we find whatever needle in the haystack we're looking for to prove they're whatever kind of horndog would make us most comfortable? What purpose does that serve? Who does that benefit?

I totally get why people bag on all the AVEN/post-AVEN-esque nonsense, like the "ace spectrum" (that word is already just so indicative of something desperate and loser-y, imho), and hair-splitting over what constitutes "attraction". But I get beef when I see people pulling away from material reality and into philosophical speculation, like how much the term "sex drive" gets thrown around without being defined or even examined as a scientific phenomenon. I fully agree that the people making bizarre reaches about what constitutes "asexuality" are digging the grave they're gonna lay in all on their own, however, it seems fundamentally anti-feminist to me to refute their worldview by doubling down on the status quo that anyone with an even vaguely feminist position would in any other context be critical of.

Basically, this is not a serious discussion. People are not asking serious questions. If JKR could magically make the Kyle Prue that lives in my mind that I would potentially consider doinking (cue Arrested Development joke about my readiness given I insist on calling it 'doinking'), we might have an actual debate on our hands, but she can't. Most people, JKR included, I suspect, don't even have the philosophical background necessary to get into phenomenology like that.
"Is asexuality real?" is as much of a spurious strawman to feminism and materialism as "is transgender real?"; you have to play six rounds of "what do you mean by that?" to even begin getting at anything that has any bearing on real life and isn't just playing mean-spirited ping pong with ideas that aren't very well-defined or thought out to begin with.
I hate that I've spent thirty years of my life screaming into the void about this and the only thing people seem to be capable of engaging with is the stupidest, dumbest, most shallow, asinine, irrelevant bad faith points possible.

Chernobog

Apr 8 2025, 11:13 AM #6

Wandering_Feminist56

Apr 8 2025, 12:32 PM

I don't care much about asexuality either way. I did see a former colleague of mine in an interview where she spoke about her asexual ''identity'' and whatnot and she walked around with the progress flag, which seemed a bit ridiculous to me, but I'm not in the LGBTQ community in any way so I had no reason to complain. Anyway, that hardly warrants further attention. JKR's tweet seems a bit unnecessary to me.

I won't deny that it exists, who am I to say that? I fully support people's right to stay free from sex, and I could see this being a major issue in religious communities or countries where women have no rights and everyone is expected to get married. But here where ''asexuality'' is a thing and an identity? I don't care, continue being happy with not desiring sex I suppose. It doesn't matter. These people don't try to shove some ideology down my throat nor are they impeding on my (or anyone's) freedom and safety so I see JKR's tweet as a bit unnecessary, but nothing to really get worked up about.

If she were some 55-year-old dadbodded has-been actor nobody would blink twice.

Edited Apr 8 2025, 12:33 PM by Wandering_Feminist56.

Wandering_Feminist56

Apr 8 2025, 12:32 PM #7

Shroom

Apr 8 2025, 12:52 PM

I mean, I could go into a whole thesis paper about how the asexual movement and all its friends (mogai, self-ID, neopronouns, etc.) are a direct offshoot from trans ideology but to be brief:

-If asexuality is such a nothingburger, not worth getting upset about, "it literally doesn't matter just leave them alone", why do they have a holiday then? Based on the idea of gay pride? You know, the same forced-teaming strategy that we rightfully criticize trans ideology for?

Similarly, why do they have a flag? Why do they need a flag? The point of political flags is to rally an oppressed group. Why did a bunch of straight teenagers look at the gay rights movement and say "OMG ME TOO! I WANT A FLAG, I WANT AN OPPRESSION COSPLAY IDENTITY, LET'S MAKE 1000000"

-A lack of sexual interest is a very common and very clearly linked result of sexual trauma. Most if not all people I see identifying as asexual are women. I'd much rather women avoid sex (especially with men) if they've been traumatized than do the opposite also-common response of become hypersexual but I also don't think it's a good idea to treat the negative aftermath of abuse as both a good thing and a permanent part of who you are.

ETA: As for JK talking about it, it's literally just a handful of short tweets. She just posted a short quip of what was on her mind and then went back to doing something else, which is how normal irl conversation works, but because it's a forever post online it seems like she made a decree or mandate something. All the posts here (mine included!) took more effort to write and think up than her tweets. Idk why this is even a thread tbh.

Also all the criticism is very much the same vein of "why do you CARE how does it AFFECT you it costs nothing to #bekind" which rubs me the wrong way. Especially since, like I said, this is one of many tumblr-borne facets of at best mild homophobia via tokenism ("being oppressed gets me attention, I wish I were gay, I'll make up an identity and say it's part of the gay rights movement!") and at worst outright "gays are gross" homophobia (see the quite popular tumblr comic about how pride being about celebrating same-sex relationships makes a poor asexual girl feel alienated and forces her to look at asexual-triggering icky kissing. wish I had a link, I'll look for it.)

Edited Apr 8 2025, 1:07 PM by Shroom.

Shroom

Apr 8 2025, 12:52 PM #8

Similarly, why do they have a flag? Why do they need a flag? The point of political flags is to rally an oppressed group. Why did a bunch of straight teenagers look at the gay rights movement and say "OMG ME TOO! I WANT A FLAG, I WANT AN OPPRESSION COSPLAY IDENTITY, LET'S MAKE 1000000"

Myrth
Fiesty Crone 🧙‍♀️

Apr 8 2025, 1:43 PM

I thought her tweet was just musing. I totally get why LGB exist. They were persecuted, imprisoned, force sterilized, and even killed historically for just existing. They had to battle for the right to EXIST, all because of their sexual orientations. They truly are the people who just want to live their lives. And pride was about that. Here we are, we exist, we have a RIGHT TO EXIST.

Then the alphabet soup was made and added to the LGB. And none of the rest of the alphabet has anything to do with sexual orientations. It has to do with identity and being special. Spicy straight people.

Asexuals have never lost housing for being asexual. They were not imprisoned for being asexual. And they were not force-sterilized or killed for being asexual. They are just special because they don’t have sex (or don’t like it when they have it), etc.

So great! Be asexual! Don’t have sex! It’s quite freeing! Just … why do they need to announce their specialness to the world?

I have nothing against asexuals. I myself have had zero desire for sex for years now. But their inclusion in the rainbow seems a tad odd. LGB people literally died. A’s? Are special.

Myrth

Fiesty Crone 🧙‍♀️

Apr 8 2025, 1:43 PM #9

Iota Aurigae

Apr 8 2025, 9:33 PM

#10

I saw a few people in the replies and community notes point out that asexual people do face oppression because... asexual women are discriminated against for not wanting kids.

Like no, that's misogyny. Women are discriminated against for not wanting kids regardless of whether or not they call themselves asexual, because gender roles dictate that we pump out a man's sons like a machine.

I try to be as polite about it as possible, but I think the idea of asexual oppression is way overblown. It's something I've seen a lot of quirky straight people call themselves, and I think it serves to obfuscate the reality of women's oppression as well.

You don't want to participate in hookup culture but rather want to wait until you've gotten into a loving relationship before you have sex? Congrats, you're demisexual now, which is on the "ace spectrum". Never mind that hookup culture is part of patriarchy's demand that women be public sexual property, that it exists to further male pleasure, and that it is inherently dangerous for women.

I think that the only people who care if a woman doesn't want to have sex are men who want to get with her and who feel entitled to her. That is, again, patriarchy. The pressure on women to have kids is not "acephobia" but is instead misogyny.

Iota Aurigae

Apr 8 2025, 9:33 PM #10

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