“True love” is sexist propaganda

clovenhooves Feminist Repository Feminist Discourse “True love” is sexist propaganda

Dec 27 2025, 9:22 PM

https://open.substack.com/pub/parisgitobu/p/true-love-is-sexist-propaganda?r=3aln0f&utm_medium=ios&shareImageVariant=overlay

Quote:Under a patriarchy, women are raised to be subservient to men. This service manifests mostly in the home, in child-raising and in community building. From this, men gain the invaluable labor of having someone take care of them and their kids. How men encourage women to continuously engage in this system is to romanticize it–literally.

100ultra - Clover, Impress Polly, Persephone, dobby, periwinkle

radgem - Clover, Impress Polly, Persephone, dobby, periwinkle

ShameMustChangeSides

Dec 27 2025, 9:22 PM #1

https://open.substack.com/pub/parisgitobu/p/true-love-is-sexist-propaganda?r=3aln0f&utm_medium=ios&shareImageVariant=overlay

Quote:Under a patriarchy, women are raised to be subservient to men. This service manifests mostly in the home, in child-raising and in community building. From this, men gain the invaluable labor of having someone take care of them and their kids. How men encourage women to continuously engage in this system is to romanticize it–literally.

Elsacat

695

Dec 28 2025, 9:29 AM

I feel like it's also designed to enforce women's chastity for men's benefit. No giving yourself up until you find The One!

Quote:In the ideal fairytale romance where are you? Behind the white picket fence, in the white two story home, where do you lie? As a woman, I can identify myself easily. I am the wife in the kitchen. I am the mom tucking her kids to bed. I am in the backyard on my knees, tending to the garden. Where does a man see himself? Nowhere, probably.

Take the kids and men out of the picture and yeah, that is kind of my fairytale life. A cute little house with a yard, room enough for a couple of pets and me to enjoy indoors, and enough space outdoors for a modest garden. if a man was going to be in there somewhere, he better have his own place to live and his own life that doesn't involve trying to ruin mine.

Elsacat

Dec 28 2025, 9:29 AM #2

I feel like it's also designed to enforce women's chastity for men's benefit. No giving yourself up until you find The One!

Quote:In the ideal fairytale romance where are you? Behind the white picket fence, in the white two story home, where do you lie? As a woman, I can identify myself easily. I am the wife in the kitchen. I am the mom tucking her kids to bed. I am in the backyard on my knees, tending to the garden. Where does a man see himself? Nowhere, probably.

ShameMustChangeSides

Dec 28 2025, 11:12 AM

(Dec 28 2025, 9:29 AM)Elsacat I feel like it's also designed to enforce women's chastity for men's benefit. No giving yourself up until you find The One!

Quote:In the ideal fairytale romance where are you? Behind the white picket fence, in the white two story home, where do you lie? As a woman, I can identify myself easily. I am the wife in the kitchen. I am the mom tucking her kids to bed. I am in the backyard on my knees, tending to the garden. Where does a man see himself? Nowhere, probably.

Take the kids and men out of the picture and yeah, that is kind of my fairytale life. A cute little house with a yard, room enough for a couple of pets and me to enjoy indoors, and enough space outdoors for a modest garden. if a man was going to be in there somewhere, he better have his own place to live and his own life that doesn't involve trying to ruin mine.

It totally is a dream life if you aren't trapped in it while a man sucks the life force out of you! They pair the dream life with the nightmare and sell them together lol. Without the white picket fence and garden it would be a way tougher sell.
I am partnered so it would be hypocritical of me to say no one should be living with a man, but I looked at my parents when I was a teen and came to the same conclusion as this piece. My dad worked and my mom got room and board. My mom took care of the kids, cleaned, shopped, cooked, managed the finances, fluffed my dad's ego while he treated her with contempt, all in hopes of finally getting the carrot--to feel loved?? Teen me was like... That shit ain't worth it.
Partnering with a man needs to be done with eyes wide open, lots of discernment, and an escape route kept open.

radgem - Clover, LeftFem, dobby, Persephone

ShameMustChangeSides

Dec 28 2025, 11:12 AM #3

(Dec 28 2025, 9:29 AM)Elsacat I feel like it's also designed to enforce women's chastity for men's benefit. No giving yourself up until you find The One!

Quote:In the ideal fairytale romance where are you? Behind the white picket fence, in the white two story home, where do you lie? As a woman, I can identify myself easily. I am the wife in the kitchen. I am the mom tucking her kids to bed. I am in the backyard on my knees, tending to the garden. Where does a man see himself? Nowhere, probably.

Take the kids and men out of the picture and yeah, that is kind of my fairytale life. A cute little house with a yard, room enough for a couple of pets and me to enjoy indoors, and enough space outdoors for a modest garden. if a man was going to be in there somewhere, he better have his own place to live and his own life that doesn't involve trying to ruin mine.

YesYourNigel

326

Dec 28 2025, 2:16 PM

I feel like it's more obvious with these very traditional narratives, but something I particularly hate is how women are discouraged from bringing "politics" into a relationship, and told to overlook the mentality of primitive regressive misogynists for "love". And all the BS about "self-sacrifice" and "understanding" that is superficially presented as being general relationship advice for everyone but that, due to how our society socialises us, only women are really primed to take in. So you just get all this self-help relationship advice gaslighting women and telling them they need to turn the other cheek and be more tolerant when the man is being a dead weight.

Quote:Partnering with a man needs to be done with eyes wide open, lots of discernment, and an escape route kept open.

I'd want women to only partner with men if he can at the very least put in the work of reconsidering his patriarchal socialisation and ideology. I feel all too often men get away with keeping their misogyny as part of their "normal" male attitude, and feminism gets treated as some side-project for the woman in relationship with him, instead of the man putting in the work to not be a burden and to not be explotative towards the woman he supposedly loves. If you're keeping your radfem ideology on the down-lo because he'll get pissy and defensive, then don't bother.

Edited Dec 28 2025, 2:21 PM by YesYourNigel.

YesYourNigel

Dec 28 2025, 2:16 PM #4

Quote:Partnering with a man needs to be done with eyes wide open, lots of discernment, and an escape route kept open.

ShameMustChangeSides

Dec 28 2025, 7:07 PM

(Dec 28 2025, 2:16 PM)YesYourNigel I feel like it's more obvious with these very traditional narratives, but something I particularly hate is how women are discouraged from bringing "politics" into a relationship, and told to overlook the mentality of primitive regressive misogynists for "love". And all the BS about "self-sacrifice" and "understanding" that is superficially presented as being general relationship advice for everyone but that, due to how our society socialises us, only women are really primed to take in. So you just get all this self-help relationship advice gaslighting women and telling them they need to turn the other cheek and be more tolerant when the man is being a dead weight.

Quote:Partnering with a man needs to be done with eyes wide open, lots of discernment, and an escape route kept open.

Hard agree. In my mid-20s I finally wondered why all the marriage advice books were for women, or at least women were the only ones consuming them and contorting themselves to fit into a shitty situation while very little was ever asked of men.

Quote:I'd want women to only partner with men if he can at the very least put in the work of reconsidering his patriarchal socialisation and ideology. I feel all too often men get away with keeping their misogyny as part of their "normal" male attitude, and feminism gets treated as some side-project for the woman in relationship with him, instead of the man putting in the work to not be a burden and to not be explotative towards the woman he supposedly loves. If you're keeping your radfem ideology on the down-lo because he'll get pissy and defensive, then don't bother.

Hard agree. It's crazy that men can treat their partners the way they do, extracting immense amounts of labor, care, and even finances, and turn around and claim to love her, and we mostly just swallow that and accept it. Insane.

ShameMustChangeSides

Dec 28 2025, 7:07 PM #5

(Dec 28 2025, 2:16 PM)YesYourNigel I feel like it's more obvious with these very traditional narratives, but something I particularly hate is how women are discouraged from bringing "politics" into a relationship, and told to overlook the mentality of primitive regressive misogynists for "love". And all the BS about "self-sacrifice" and "understanding" that is superficially presented as being general relationship advice for everyone but that, due to how our society socialises us, only women are really primed to take in. So you just get all this self-help relationship advice gaslighting women and telling them they need to turn the other cheek and be more tolerant when the man is being a dead weight.

Quote:Partnering with a man needs to be done with eyes wide open, lots of discernment, and an escape route kept open.

Quote:I'd want women to only partner with men if he can at the very least put in the work of reconsidering his patriarchal socialisation and ideology. I feel all too often men get away with keeping their misogyny as part of their "normal" male attitude, and feminism gets treated as some side-project for the woman in relationship with him, instead of the man putting in the work to not be a burden and to not be explotative towards the woman he supposedly loves. If you're keeping your radfem ideology on the down-lo because he'll get pissy and defensive, then don't bother.

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