Social Media Ovarit post on o/Lesbians: "Where have we all gone?"
Social Media Ovarit post on o/Lesbians: "Where have we all gone?"
https://ovarit.com/o/Lesbians/633964/where-have-we-all-gone
Many users discussing how the lesbophobia on Ovarit (among other issues) has led them to participate less. :(
(Note: only lesbians are allowed to participate in o/Lesbians! I subscribe, but just to see what women are talking about.)
I think one of the first telltale signs that Ovarit was leaning towards conservatism was when a detrans woman spoke about how she felt unwelcome on Ovarit. Back then I was surprised, because there is even a circle dedicated to detrans women! But it is an extremely inactive circle. And then I started paying closer attention and I saw what she meant. Sometimes you can just pick up a vibe and tell you're not "welcome" there. Especially if a detrans woman chose to be trans due to wanting to be GNC, when a large majority of Ovarit don't really have GC takes or support GNC, they just want trans to "go away" and I guess they think gender non-conformity is just magically going to go away with it..? It very much doesn't feel like a place where one can feel vulnerable/supported about such topics.
Anyway, I guess my point there is "just because a circle exists for a group of women, doesn't mean the website as a whole is welcoming of that group." I am disappointed to see one of them said “I came in here to say that lesbians get banned for standing up to the homophobic nonsense here.” Although I am a strange mixture of shocked and yet also unsurprised? Right-wing rhetoric doesn't jump out guns blazing right away, it creeps in slowly. The idea of "dogwhistles" gets a fair amount of mockery, no thanks to TRAs abusing that term to claim anything under the sun is a "terf/transphobic dogwhistle," but I do believe dogwhistles exist (I just know claiming is a dogwhistle is absolutely useless nowadays, but to actually pick apart the dogwhistle takes so much energy than it does for the person who uses it). Those who are part of minority groups are more likely to pick up on it sooner, more likely to voice concerns, and more likely to "act out of line" (get warnings/bans) when calling out prejudiced takes they see (especially when earlier concerns may have been dismissed). Or they can just get fed up with seeing such takes and just leave. Although, another caveat to all this that I'm saying, conservative/right-wing lesbians exist lol, so that might make a lesbian online community (especially on Ovarit which is welcomes right-wingers) even more fractured/less likely to engage with each other, since politics have become so extremely polarized.
TLDR; sadge for lesbian women on Ovarit.
(Dec 16 2024, 11:43 AM)Clover Especially if a detrans woman chose to be trans due to wanting to be GNC, when a large majority of Ovarit don't really have GC takes or support GNC, they just want trans to "go away" and I guess they think gender non-conformity is just magically going to go away with it..? It very much doesn't feel like a place where one can feel vulnerable/supported about such topics.
Yeah, it sucks that a lot of useful ideas (not just dogwhistles, but like, intersectionality for example...) have been coopted, made useless, or otherwise turned on their heads by TRAs. In my experience, though, sometimes things went way past "dogwhistle" on Ovarit into blatant homophobia, and as far as I could tell the behavior was never censured or even corrected by mods in any way. I remember some posts just showing like the regular old rainbow pride flag and people saying hateful things, and some users piping up being like "hey this is the normal pride flag, not the ugly 'progress' one, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater," and then other posters being like "well it's all the same shit." So much for solidarity with our lesbian sisters, eh?
(Dec 16 2024, 11:43 AM)Clover Especially if a detrans woman chose to be trans due to wanting to be GNC, when a large majority of Ovarit don't really have GC takes or support GNC, they just want trans to "go away" and I guess they think gender non-conformity is just magically going to go away with it..? It very much doesn't feel like a place where one can feel vulnerable/supported about such topics.
Quote:Although, another caveat to all this that I'm saying, conservative/right-wing lesbians exist lol, so that might make a lesbian online community (especially on Ovarit which is welcomes right-wingers) even more fractured/less likely to engage with each other, since politics have become so extremely polarized.
Quote:Although, another caveat to all this that I'm saying, conservative/right-wing lesbians exist lol, so that might make a lesbian online community (especially on Ovarit which is welcomes right-wingers) even more fractured/less likely to engage with each other, since politics have become so extremely polarized.
Oh hey, thanks for posting this - we'll see if Ovarit mods delete my comments on that thread. There are definitely a handful of annoying rightwing and adjacent lesbians on that site, and they also complain about most other lesbians wanting nothing to do with them, hmmm I wonder why! Lol.
And yeah mainly it's nonstop homophobia, hate for GNC people rather than specifically the misogynistic aspects of the gender movement, and all kinds of garden variety usamerican and UK style bigotry from the users of the other circles that give the site a well-deserved bad name among radical feminists I know in person. Especially the constant racism and the absolute failure to create a WOC circle, to the point multiple users left or were banned over it... Their mods have given me several reasons over the years as to why they say they care a lot about racism but can't build one, which hold less and less water for me as they continue to pull in donations every month to pay off the costs of hosting the site and no WOC centric space is forthcoming. Other comments here are right that a lot of it is rhetoric and language/mindset rather than simply typing racial slurs, so the mods can conveniently say "who is being racist? please report them" while clearly having zero intention to put a stop to it and expecting us to just Civilly Discuss with garbage humans literally defending white nationalism.
The constant vitriol for trans-identifying women and girls is disgusting, especially antifeminist mockery of their looks and mental health, and most especially from the smugly ignorant, gender conforming, clueless straight women who think they are soooo much smarter than dysphoric women while they themselves are obeying all these patriarchal dictates and will start a 200 comment defensive outrage thread if you mention that makeup is not feminist or how women's clothing is designed to objectify, degrade, and to hamper your movement. Dysphoric and gender noncompliant women and girls are seeing many aspects of society more clearly than these obedient wives could manage, yet they think we are so delusional and beneath them it's actually laughable to me personally, but yeah I definitely would not post deeply personal and traumatic history about my early disidentification from womanhood there for them to mock and get homophobic about, nor suggest any woman struggling with newly reidentifying, desisting or detransitioning do so either unless she is in a sound mental space to deal with complacent, ignorant assholes who refuse to educate themselves on gendered socialization, cheerfully talk plans to put their poor daughters into womanhating catholic schools to keep them away from trans-identifying friend groups, repeat gender essentialist ladybrain stuff all the time, and blame dysphoric women and girls for problems caused by the deep-seated misogyny in patriarchal societies. It is not a supportive place for desisting women in my experience - even though they may welcome new desisted users, it's also with an outpouring of condescendingly scolding them in the same breath.
I am glad I signed up for this site, reading a few threads has been a breath of fresh air in comparison so far. I thought about suggesting this forum over there but I haven't been here long enough to see if we have an active lesbian community here.
Quote:I am glad I signed up for this site, reading a few threads has been a breath of fresh air in comparison so far. I thought about suggesting this forum over there but I haven't been here long enough to see if we have an active lesbian community here.
@sealwomyn: I was going to quote your post to respond but then realized I was quoting all of it. XD You said everything I feel quite succinctly, from the frustration with inaction on the part of the mods, to being pissed off about the rampant and brazen homophobia. It's become one of those sites where I always regret reading the comments. 😔 I really should know better by now!
Quote:I am glad I signed up for this site, reading a few threads has been a breath of fresh air in comparison so far. I thought about suggesting this forum over there but I haven't been here long enough to see if we have an active lesbian community here.
Quote:Especially the constant racism and the absolute failure to create a WOC circle, to the point multiple users left or were banned over it...
Quote:Their mods have given me several reasons over the years as to why they say they care a lot about racism but can't build one
Quote:a lot of it is rhetoric and language/mindset rather than simply typing racial slurs, so the mods can conveniently say "who is being racist? please report them" while clearly having zero intention to put a stop to it and expecting us to just Civilly Discuss with garbage humans literally defending white nationalism.
Quote:especially from the smugly ignorant, gender conforming, clueless straight women who think they are soooo much smarter than dysphoric women while they themselves are obeying all these patriarchal dictates and will start a 200 comment defensive outrage thread if you mention that makeup is not feminist or how women's clothing is designed to objectify, degrade, and to hamper your movement.
Quote: I definitely would not post deeply personal and traumatic history about my early disidentification from womanhood there for them to mock and get homophobic about, nor suggest any woman struggling with newly reidentifying, desisting or detransitioning do so either unless she is in a sound mental space
Quote:repeat gender essentialist ladybrain stuff all the time
Quote:Especially the constant racism and the absolute failure to create a WOC circle, to the point multiple users left or were banned over it...
Quote:Their mods have given me several reasons over the years as to why they say they care a lot about racism but can't build one
Quote:a lot of it is rhetoric and language/mindset rather than simply typing racial slurs, so the mods can conveniently say "who is being racist? please report them" while clearly having zero intention to put a stop to it and expecting us to just Civilly Discuss with garbage humans literally defending white nationalism.
Quote:especially from the smugly ignorant, gender conforming, clueless straight women who think they are soooo much smarter than dysphoric women while they themselves are obeying all these patriarchal dictates and will start a 200 comment defensive outrage thread if you mention that makeup is not feminist or how women's clothing is designed to objectify, degrade, and to hamper your movement.
Quote: I definitely would not post deeply personal and traumatic history about my early disidentification from womanhood there for them to mock and get homophobic about, nor suggest any woman struggling with newly reidentifying, desisting or detransitioning do so either unless she is in a sound mental space
Quote:repeat gender essentialist ladybrain stuff all the time
This thread is giving me a lot to think about, and this in particular really hit:
"Got booted from another GC space when I argued that long hair takes much more upkeep, even if we only look at the time it takes to dry, let alone combing, products etc. But basic laws of physics apparently change just by coping women feeling gender euphoria."
Until now, I'd have insisted women (unless maybe some TIFs) don't experience "gender euphoria." But what else is it when I'm in a nice feminine outfit, hair and makeup done, looking at myself in the mirror and feeling "pretty"?
Would I feel the same way if I were in a clean pressed button-down dress shirt, pressed trousers, shined flat dress shoes, hair short and neatly slicked back, face clean but no trace of makeup?
Or does the traditional gender presentation make me feel some kind of way, not sexual like with so many TIMs, but still an "I feel pretty" buzz? Is that not some kind of gender euphoria?
YesYourNigel I ultimately got banned from Ovarit because I told women on a thread about how women's clothes are made for female bodies that, no, women's clothes are made to objectify us, and normal clothing is not actually supposed to prioritise emphasising your bodily curves, and maybe give the actually comfortable male clothing a try for a change without worrying about how much it hugs your hips.
sealwomyn ...but yeah I definitely would not post deeply personal and traumatic history about my early disidentification from womanhood there for them to mock and get homophobic about, nor suggest any woman struggling with newly reidentifying, desisting or detransitioning do so either unless she is in a sound mental space to deal with complacent, ignorant assholes who refuse to educate themselves on gendered socialization...
YesYourNigel I ultimately got banned from Ovarit because I told women on a thread about how women's clothes are made for female bodies that, no, women's clothes are made to objectify us, and normal clothing is not actually supposed to prioritise emphasising your bodily curves, and maybe give the actually comfortable male clothing a try for a change without worrying about how much it hugs your hips.
sealwomyn ...but yeah I definitely would not post deeply personal and traumatic history about my early disidentification from womanhood there for them to mock and get homophobic about, nor suggest any woman struggling with newly reidentifying, desisting or detransitioning do so either unless she is in a sound mental space to deal with complacent, ignorant assholes who refuse to educate themselves on gendered socialization...
komorebi In my experience, though, sometimes things went way past "dogwhistle" on Ovarit into blatant homophobia, and as far as I could tell the behavior was never censured or even corrected by mods in any way. I remember some posts just showing like the regular old rainbow pride flag and people saying hateful things, and some users piping up being like "hey this is the normal pride flag, not the ugly 'progress' one, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater," and then other posters being like "well it's all the same shit." [...] I came to GC thinking in large part because I strongly objected to things like the "cotton ceiling," which I interpreted as corrective rape, and the idea that lesbians had to accept men as sexual partners just because of their internal gender identities. Now "GC" women laud the removal of pride flags and celebrate the silencing of lesbians and the stifling of gender nonconformity.Woof. That reminds me of how much schadenfreude there seemed to be when June pride festivities were decreasing (which was attributed to transmania). I was like "yeah I kind of hate the commercialization of gay pride," but some of the comments just seemed gleeful that pride was reducing in general. I'm still so disappointed about how the TQ force-teamed itself so successfully with LGB. It feels like conservatives might as well have been rooting for the force-teaming to happen, in order to reduce people's support for LGB in general, as then conservatives claims of LGB being "degenerate" was strengthened by every TIM being a fool and invading women's spaces and rights. And gender non-conformity/gender abolition has taken a massive hit because of transgenderism and the conservative backlash to transgenderism.
YesYourNigel I very rarely see right-wing lesbians, compared to right-wing gay men (most of whom want to keep their white male privileges while fucking men on the down low). Almost all the best takes I've seen on radical feminism have come from lesbians, and generally the more a place becomes overtaken with straight/bi women, the more the "Not my Nigel" bullshit and the associated persecution complex over Nigel's bullshit starts creeping in, until it's glaringly obvious that most of the ideas are just parroted hubby's rants (which in turn are just parroted from his favourite podcasters or influencers). Obvs lesbians are also raised in a patriarchy but since they don't pair off with men they're not going to be so vulnerable to just nodding at whatever the authoritive male voice next to them says.Yeah, I think lesbian women have extremely valuable insights on patriarchy and women's oppression, as they cannot be swayed by any desire to change themselves or their thoughts just for the attention of a man. That is why this /o/Lesbian discussion post is quite saddening to see, as the loss of lesbian community on Ovarit means the loss of a lot of unique perspectives, especially regarding feminist/pro-woman causes. I honestly didn't even think much about the possibility of right-wing lesbians existing until I had a run-in with one on Ovarit that left me quite shook (very misogynistic reductive anti-choice takes). Then a lesbian woman on radblr actually discussed right-wing lesbians, so I thought that was interesting to see expanded upon. But yeah, I do imagine the intersection of "right-wing" and "lesbian" is quite small.
sealwomyn There are definitely a handful of annoying rightwing and adjacent lesbians on that site, and they also complain about most other lesbians wanting nothing to do with them, hmmm I wonder why!I am curious, is there ever any uh, "addressing of the elephant in the room" when it comes to them wondering such a thing? lol.
sealwomyn hate for GNC people rather than specifically the misogynistic aspects of the gender movement, and all kinds of garden variety usamerican and UK style bigotry from the users of the other circles that give the site a well-deserved bad name among radical feminists I know in person.Dang. 😔 I guess I can't say I'm surprised, but it always sucks to hear. Because it means the chances of radfem/feminist women joining Ovarit to shift the Overton window more left continues to be reduced. It's like a negative feedback loop.
sealwomyn Other comments here are right that a lot of it is rhetoric and language/mindset rather than simply typing racial slurs, so the mods can conveniently say "who is being racist? please report them" while clearly having zero intention to put a stop to it and expecting us to just Civilly Discuss with garbage humans literally defending white nationalism.Okay, I even touched on this a bit in RusticTroglodyte's "elephant in the room" thread! Someone was asking for instances of this "supposed" right-wing shift with a lot of investigative sounding questions and I replied with something like "that just sounds utterly exhausting" to sit there and compile every instance?!
sealwomyn The constant vitriol for trans-identifying women and girls is disgusting, especially antifeminist mockery of their looks and mental health, and most especially from the smugly ignorant, gender conforming, clueless straight women who think they are soooo much smarter than dysphoric women while they themselves are obeying all these patriarchal dictates and will start a 200 comment defensive outrage thread if you mention that makeup is not feminist or how women's clothing is designed to objectify, degrade, and to hamper your movement. Dysphoric and gender noncompliant women and girls are seeing many aspects of society more clearly than these obedient wives could manage, yet they think we are so delusional and beneath them it's actually laughable to me personally, but yeah I definitely would not post deeply personal and traumatic history about my early disidentification from womanhood there for them to mock and get homophobic about, nor suggest any woman struggling with newly reidentifying, desisting or detransitioning do so either unless she is in a sound mental space to deal with complacent, ignorant assholes who refuse to educate themselves on gendered socialization, cheerfully talk plans to put their poor daughters into womanhating catholic schools to keep them away from trans-identifying friend groups, repeat gender essentialist ladybrain stuff all the time, and blame dysphoric women and girls for problems caused by the deep-seated misogyny in patriarchal societies. It is not a supportive place for desisting women in my experience - even though they may welcome new desisted users, it's also with an outpouring of condescendingly scolding them in the same breath.I wanted to try shortening this quote lol but I couldn't find anything that deserved to be cut because it's all valid. I remember seeing a post in /o/TransLogic where the OP literally just scraped a bunch of selfies from a TIF subreddit and made fun of their looks. The comments, mainly from her, were absolutely atrocious. Calling these young women "clowns" and "mimes" and "demons" and encouraging others to laugh, it was sick. Luckily this post got removed (I reported it, it had absolutely nothing to do with trans logic) but I'm still shocked that this person thought Ovarit is a place where they can "safely" ridicule young women (teenage girls even?) struggling with mental health issues, internalized and externalized misogyny, and living in a gender-conforming patriarchal society (where most people are unaware of, and don't care, or don't even believe exists), instead of... showing some basic human empathy?!
sealwomyn I thought about suggesting this forum over there but I haven't been here long enough to see if we have an active lesbian community here.This forum is still small. There are, I would say, (and given its small size) a fair amount of lesbian women registered, but I don't think all of them are active. Some made accounts but don't check in or participate very often. It's somewhat similar to what was discussed in the o/Lesbians post, where I assume people want the community, but it takes work to build the community. (For instance, there was a lot of hype for CH when I was developing it and sharing updates on Tumblr, but all those like/reblogs didn't necessarily translate to active CH users. And I understand, it takes effort to make posts, use a new website, build up activity, remember to check in, etc. I'm happy when anyone participates whenever they do.)
YesYourNigel I ultimately got banned from Ovarit because I told women on a thread about how women's clothes are made for female bodies that, no, women's clothes are made to objectify us,Women's clothing is also made to waste our money on selling us cheap-ass garbage shit that breaks down faster than men's, so we pay more for new clothes more often than men, all while being paid less on the dollar than men!
YesYourNigel Got booted from another GC space when I argued that long hair takes much more upkeep, even if we only look at the time it takes to dry, let alone combing, products etc.Damn. I got long hair, and there's no way I could deny that it is heavy, it gets in the way, it takes REALLY LONG to dry, it's inconvenient, it takes more effort, etc. (and that's with me not even doing typical styling like hair products beyond just shampoo/conditioner).
YesYourNigel whereas these women think they're somehow brave and daring for just having the most milquetoast view that yes, women have vaginas. Have a fucking medal.lmao. fr.
YesYourNigel I remember seeing a picture of a confident butch desisted woman who was smiling and living her best life, even though she underwent masectomy. I wish more desisters understood that life isn't over just because you stop lying to yourself, or just because you were preyed on to damage your body. And esp that they're not somehow less female. The whole point is that it's impossible to change your femaleness. My heart sinks every time a "GC" or desisted woman caked in makeup, fake eyelashes, nails etc.Yeah... It is a lil' heart breaking when desisted/detrans women dive back into performative femininity. I hope they realize that... they don't have to do that and they're still 100% valid as women. But maybe their desire to "fit in", somewhere, anywhere, might be stronger than just being themselves. I hope they realize "woman is not a costume" applies to actual women just as much as it does to men who pretend to be women.
YesYourNigel They basically like the idea that brainsex is women being motherly and sth sth sacred femininityThis makes me whenever I see it. It's like the Borax mixed with sugar used to kill ants. It's "so sweet" on the surface so it's easier to ingest while it rots out your guts and soul.
komorebi (For anyone who has a similar problem, I highly recommend UNIQLO's men's EZY jeans! Sooo comfy, they feel like sweatpants.)Omg, we're pants buddies. I love Uniqlo men's jeans! Their men's skinny jeans. 💋👌 My pockets are so massive (I'm used to them now since I've been buying/wearing them for years, so much so that when I wear women's pants I get so angery over the small pockets lol.)
komorebi In my experience, though, sometimes things went way past "dogwhistle" on Ovarit into blatant homophobia, and as far as I could tell the behavior was never censured or even corrected by mods in any way. I remember some posts just showing like the regular old rainbow pride flag and people saying hateful things, and some users piping up being like "hey this is the normal pride flag, not the ugly 'progress' one, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater," and then other posters being like "well it's all the same shit." [...] I came to GC thinking in large part because I strongly objected to things like the "cotton ceiling," which I interpreted as corrective rape, and the idea that lesbians had to accept men as sexual partners just because of their internal gender identities. Now "GC" women laud the removal of pride flags and celebrate the silencing of lesbians and the stifling of gender nonconformity.Woof. That reminds me of how much schadenfreude there seemed to be when June pride festivities were decreasing (which was attributed to transmania). I was like "yeah I kind of hate the commercialization of gay pride," but some of the comments just seemed gleeful that pride was reducing in general. I'm still so disappointed about how the TQ force-teamed itself so successfully with LGB. It feels like conservatives might as well have been rooting for the force-teaming to happen, in order to reduce people's support for LGB in general, as then conservatives claims of LGB being "degenerate" was strengthened by every TIM being a fool and invading women's spaces and rights. And gender non-conformity/gender abolition has taken a massive hit because of transgenderism and the conservative backlash to transgenderism.
YesYourNigel I very rarely see right-wing lesbians, compared to right-wing gay men (most of whom want to keep their white male privileges while fucking men on the down low). Almost all the best takes I've seen on radical feminism have come from lesbians, and generally the more a place becomes overtaken with straight/bi women, the more the "Not my Nigel" bullshit and the associated persecution complex over Nigel's bullshit starts creeping in, until it's glaringly obvious that most of the ideas are just parroted hubby's rants (which in turn are just parroted from his favourite podcasters or influencers). Obvs lesbians are also raised in a patriarchy but since they don't pair off with men they're not going to be so vulnerable to just nodding at whatever the authoritive male voice next to them says.Yeah, I think lesbian women have extremely valuable insights on patriarchy and women's oppression, as they cannot be swayed by any desire to change themselves or their thoughts just for the attention of a man. That is why this /o/Lesbian discussion post is quite saddening to see, as the loss of lesbian community on Ovarit means the loss of a lot of unique perspectives, especially regarding feminist/pro-woman causes. I honestly didn't even think much about the possibility of right-wing lesbians existing until I had a run-in with one on Ovarit that left me quite shook (very misogynistic reductive anti-choice takes). Then a lesbian woman on radblr actually discussed right-wing lesbians, so I thought that was interesting to see expanded upon. But yeah, I do imagine the intersection of "right-wing" and "lesbian" is quite small.
sealwomyn There are definitely a handful of annoying rightwing and adjacent lesbians on that site, and they also complain about most other lesbians wanting nothing to do with them, hmmm I wonder why!I am curious, is there ever any uh, "addressing of the elephant in the room" when it comes to them wondering such a thing? lol.
sealwomyn hate for GNC people rather than specifically the misogynistic aspects of the gender movement, and all kinds of garden variety usamerican and UK style bigotry from the users of the other circles that give the site a well-deserved bad name among radical feminists I know in person.Dang. 😔 I guess I can't say I'm surprised, but it always sucks to hear. Because it means the chances of radfem/feminist women joining Ovarit to shift the Overton window more left continues to be reduced. It's like a negative feedback loop.
sealwomyn Other comments here are right that a lot of it is rhetoric and language/mindset rather than simply typing racial slurs, so the mods can conveniently say "who is being racist? please report them" while clearly having zero intention to put a stop to it and expecting us to just Civilly Discuss with garbage humans literally defending white nationalism.Okay, I even touched on this a bit in RusticTroglodyte's "elephant in the room" thread! Someone was asking for instances of this "supposed" right-wing shift with a lot of investigative sounding questions and I replied with something like "that just sounds utterly exhausting" to sit there and compile every instance?!
sealwomyn The constant vitriol for trans-identifying women and girls is disgusting, especially antifeminist mockery of their looks and mental health, and most especially from the smugly ignorant, gender conforming, clueless straight women who think they are soooo much smarter than dysphoric women while they themselves are obeying all these patriarchal dictates and will start a 200 comment defensive outrage thread if you mention that makeup is not feminist or how women's clothing is designed to objectify, degrade, and to hamper your movement. Dysphoric and gender noncompliant women and girls are seeing many aspects of society more clearly than these obedient wives could manage, yet they think we are so delusional and beneath them it's actually laughable to me personally, but yeah I definitely would not post deeply personal and traumatic history about my early disidentification from womanhood there for them to mock and get homophobic about, nor suggest any woman struggling with newly reidentifying, desisting or detransitioning do so either unless she is in a sound mental space to deal with complacent, ignorant assholes who refuse to educate themselves on gendered socialization, cheerfully talk plans to put their poor daughters into womanhating catholic schools to keep them away from trans-identifying friend groups, repeat gender essentialist ladybrain stuff all the time, and blame dysphoric women and girls for problems caused by the deep-seated misogyny in patriarchal societies. It is not a supportive place for desisting women in my experience - even though they may welcome new desisted users, it's also with an outpouring of condescendingly scolding them in the same breath.I wanted to try shortening this quote lol but I couldn't find anything that deserved to be cut because it's all valid. I remember seeing a post in /o/TransLogic where the OP literally just scraped a bunch of selfies from a TIF subreddit and made fun of their looks. The comments, mainly from her, were absolutely atrocious. Calling these young women "clowns" and "mimes" and "demons" and encouraging others to laugh, it was sick. Luckily this post got removed (I reported it, it had absolutely nothing to do with trans logic) but I'm still shocked that this person thought Ovarit is a place where they can "safely" ridicule young women (teenage girls even?) struggling with mental health issues, internalized and externalized misogyny, and living in a gender-conforming patriarchal society (where most people are unaware of, and don't care, or don't even believe exists), instead of... showing some basic human empathy?!
sealwomyn I thought about suggesting this forum over there but I haven't been here long enough to see if we have an active lesbian community here.This forum is still small. There are, I would say, (and given its small size) a fair amount of lesbian women registered, but I don't think all of them are active. Some made accounts but don't check in or participate very often. It's somewhat similar to what was discussed in the o/Lesbians post, where I assume people want the community, but it takes work to build the community. (For instance, there was a lot of hype for CH when I was developing it and sharing updates on Tumblr, but all those like/reblogs didn't necessarily translate to active CH users. And I understand, it takes effort to make posts, use a new website, build up activity, remember to check in, etc. I'm happy when anyone participates whenever they do.)
YesYourNigel I ultimately got banned from Ovarit because I told women on a thread about how women's clothes are made for female bodies that, no, women's clothes are made to objectify us,Women's clothing is also made to waste our money on selling us cheap-ass garbage shit that breaks down faster than men's, so we pay more for new clothes more often than men, all while being paid less on the dollar than men!
YesYourNigel Got booted from another GC space when I argued that long hair takes much more upkeep, even if we only look at the time it takes to dry, let alone combing, products etc.Damn. I got long hair, and there's no way I could deny that it is heavy, it gets in the way, it takes REALLY LONG to dry, it's inconvenient, it takes more effort, etc. (and that's with me not even doing typical styling like hair products beyond just shampoo/conditioner).
YesYourNigel whereas these women think they're somehow brave and daring for just having the most milquetoast view that yes, women have vaginas. Have a fucking medal.lmao. fr.
YesYourNigel I remember seeing a picture of a confident butch desisted woman who was smiling and living her best life, even though she underwent masectomy. I wish more desisters understood that life isn't over just because you stop lying to yourself, or just because you were preyed on to damage your body. And esp that they're not somehow less female. The whole point is that it's impossible to change your femaleness. My heart sinks every time a "GC" or desisted woman caked in makeup, fake eyelashes, nails etc.Yeah... It is a lil' heart breaking when desisted/detrans women dive back into performative femininity. I hope they realize that... they don't have to do that and they're still 100% valid as women. But maybe their desire to "fit in", somewhere, anywhere, might be stronger than just being themselves. I hope they realize "woman is not a costume" applies to actual women just as much as it does to men who pretend to be women.
YesYourNigel They basically like the idea that brainsex is women being motherly and sth sth sacred femininityThis makes me whenever I see it. It's like the Borax mixed with sugar used to kill ants. It's "so sweet" on the surface so it's easier to ingest while it rots out your guts and soul.
komorebi (For anyone who has a similar problem, I highly recommend UNIQLO's men's EZY jeans! Sooo comfy, they feel like sweatpants.)Omg, we're pants buddies. I love Uniqlo men's jeans! Their men's skinny jeans. 💋👌 My pockets are so massive (I'm used to them now since I've been buying/wearing them for years, so much so that when I wear women's pants I get so angery over the small pockets lol.)