Healing women from femininity

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Healing women from femininity

Healing women from femininity

YesYourNigel

206

Yesterday, 11:10 AM

#1

Most feminism seems utterly toothless when it comes to truly tackling the damage that femininity does to women. The damage is acknowledged, yes - there are programs that seek to encourage women into traditionally male fields and interests, as well as criticism of beauty standards and gender roles for women. But nothing ever really gets done about it. It is always packaged in a thick cover of "It's only bad if you're forced into it, but if you willingly partake, then YASS QUEEN SLAYYY 💅". Despite acknowledging how society brainwashes women into femininity, foregoing it is still seen as solely the domain of a minority of "weird" individuals who have the excuse of never getting fully sucked into them in the first place. The women who did I guess are just destined to be exploited and suffer.

I wish more resources taught women how to dump all aspects of female gender roles and move towards living as a human being that maximises their own abilities, independence and dignity. I think trans can give this to women in the form of an excuse, and a goal in the form of masculine gender roles, rather than the vague "follow your heart" and "do what you truly want", which just ends up with people following the line of least resistance, because unsurprisingly that's what's the least stressful for them. I think (partially) emulating masculinity can help women, but not via trans means where women's grievances with a patriarchal system are medicalised, dismissed as inborn "boysouls", and rely on maintaining the unquestioned cognitive dissonance between one's reality as a subhuman, and the roleplay identity of a superior man.

Edited Yesterday, 11:11 AM by YesYourNigel.

I refuse to debate two obvious facts: 1. the patriarchy exists 2. and that's a bad thing

YesYourNigel

Yesterday, 11:10 AM #1

Most feminism seems utterly toothless when it comes to truly tackling the damage that femininity does to women. The damage is acknowledged, yes - there are programs that seek to encourage women into traditionally male fields and interests, as well as criticism of beauty standards and gender roles for women. But nothing ever really gets done about it. It is always packaged in a thick cover of "It's only bad if you're forced into it, but if you willingly partake, then YASS QUEEN SLAYYY 💅". Despite acknowledging how society brainwashes women into femininity, foregoing it is still seen as solely the domain of a minority of "weird" individuals who have the excuse of never getting fully sucked into them in the first place. The women who did I guess are just destined to be exploited and suffer.

I wish more resources taught women how to dump all aspects of female gender roles and move towards living as a human being that maximises their own abilities, independence and dignity. I think trans can give this to women in the form of an excuse, and a goal in the form of masculine gender roles, rather than the vague "follow your heart" and "do what you truly want", which just ends up with people following the line of least resistance, because unsurprisingly that's what's the least stressful for them. I think (partially) emulating masculinity can help women, but not via trans means where women's grievances with a patriarchal system are medicalised, dismissed as inborn "boysouls", and rely on maintaining the unquestioned cognitive dissonance between one's reality as a subhuman, and the roleplay identity of a superior man.

I refuse to debate two obvious facts: 1. the patriarchy exists 2. and that's a bad thing

Clover
Kozlik's regular account 🍀🐐

926

Yesterday, 5:50 PM

#2

I think it takes little steps to get there. Like, for example, the programs that encourage women to get into male-dominated careers. I think helping women achieve financial Independence is a good way to go about having them heal from femininity, because this means being able to have the funds to tell femininity to fuck off.

Sadly any avenue is really an uphill battle. Like, for example, a woman can be in a well paying male-dominated career, but still feel like she needs to perform femininity in order to be "acceptable" in the workplace. Or a woman can go to therapy to resolve mental health issues like depression and anxiety that are rooted in living in a patriarchy, but might end up with a handmaiden therapist or some gender woowoo one who thinks she has a "boysoul" for being fed up with systemic misogyny.

I think a big part would be women forming female friendships with gender non-conforming women, but I'm not sure if that would guarantee healing from femininity either. It would provide them a woman to feel safe with when healing from femininity, but that itself does not mean they will do so. The gender non-conforming female friend could just be viewed as an "oddity" in her friend group.

I don't know the answer. :( I think age can help women recover from femininity. I'm reminded of Hags, where I think there were three f's in what "being a woman is" to society and that was "feminine, fertile, and fuckable." The "fertile" one was associated with age, and the trope of how women become invisible and "useless" once they age past their "prime." I remember reading a Guardian article about an elder woman who utilized her "invisibleness" to do graffiti lol.

I think in the end, in order to have women heal from femininity, women need to lessen their dependence on men. The male oppressor class is the reason women feel obligated to perform femininity in the first place. And for women to lessen their dependence on men requires a lot of societal changes.

Kozlik's regular member account. 🍀🐐

Clover

Kozlik's regular account 🍀🐐

Yesterday, 5:50 PM #2

I think it takes little steps to get there. Like, for example, the programs that encourage women to get into male-dominated careers. I think helping women achieve financial Independence is a good way to go about having them heal from femininity, because this means being able to have the funds to tell femininity to fuck off.

Sadly any avenue is really an uphill battle. Like, for example, a woman can be in a well paying male-dominated career, but still feel like she needs to perform femininity in order to be "acceptable" in the workplace. Or a woman can go to therapy to resolve mental health issues like depression and anxiety that are rooted in living in a patriarchy, but might end up with a handmaiden therapist or some gender woowoo one who thinks she has a "boysoul" for being fed up with systemic misogyny.

I think a big part would be women forming female friendships with gender non-conforming women, but I'm not sure if that would guarantee healing from femininity either. It would provide them a woman to feel safe with when healing from femininity, but that itself does not mean they will do so. The gender non-conforming female friend could just be viewed as an "oddity" in her friend group.

I don't know the answer. :( I think age can help women recover from femininity. I'm reminded of Hags, where I think there were three f's in what "being a woman is" to society and that was "feminine, fertile, and fuckable." The "fertile" one was associated with age, and the trope of how women become invisible and "useless" once they age past their "prime." I remember reading a Guardian article about an elder woman who utilized her "invisibleness" to do graffiti lol.

I think in the end, in order to have women heal from femininity, women need to lessen their dependence on men. The male oppressor class is the reason women feel obligated to perform femininity in the first place. And for women to lessen their dependence on men requires a lot of societal changes.

Kozlik's regular member account. 🍀🐐

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