why has sexual choking become so prevalent among young people?
why has sexual choking become so prevalent among young people?
Mar 30 2025, 1:55 AM
(Mar 24 2025, 11:26 AM)Fortherecord https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/sep/02/i-think-its-natural-why-has-sexual-choking-become-so-prevalent-among-young-people
Quote:Anthony* has been in a relationship for 10 years and chokes his partner during sex about one in every 10 times. The 29-year-old, who works in the health and fitness industry, noticed she liked to be touched around her neck, which over time led to experimenting with more pressure and “choking”.I wish they could call it what it is: strangling.
Quote:“It’s something we always do with lights on, it’s never a lights off thing because it very much involves looks. Because we’ve been together for so long there’s subtle looks during sex that we have … ‘OK, it’s too much’, ‘keep going’-type situation. It’s definitely not anything that could be done verbally. Again there’s that trust thing. I know what that look means so I know I have to stop.”
I see this really as a case of ''I know that road like the back of my hand! Of course I can drive home from the pub there with my busted headlights and questionable amounts of alcohol in my blood. I've done it hundreds of times and nothing ever happened!''... Until it does.
Quote:“People should be able to engage in whatever they want to do, if it’s consensual and talked-through and everybody wants to do it and it’s feeling good for people,” Douglas says. We should stay out of people’s private lives, she says. “But I think strangulation is a rather particular thing.”What happens in the bedroom really is the epitome of ''the personal is political''.
What's interesting to me is that they speak of ''young people''; who is strangling who? Is it people, or is it men strangling women? When so many men are so utterly selfish in bed, are they truly strangling for her pleasure? Why are they strangling exactly?
Also I find it peculiar how they somewhat question the influence of porn on sex. Like, are you kidding me? Look at just how men talk, what they say! How for so many of them, porn is the framework through which they view the world, how some of the misogyny is clearly influenced by porn (not as a cause, but in terms of the form that it takes). The jokes they make, that stem from porn, how they label women as porn categories. The things they demand from their partner. Everything! And that's just ignoring all the data of how porn influences the way men in particular view sex and women.
This article is clearly pro-patriarchy. It glosses over who is strangling who and why, it's all ''young people''. It questions whether porn has a major, problematic influence. It somewhat normalizes strangling. It paints it as a ''private issue'', what do we know that from? ... From people who look away from DV and child abuse happening behind closed doors (or publicly) because it's a ''private matter''. When you gloss over all connotations, context, meaning, the influence of millennia of extreme misogyny and call it a choice, you're benefitting the status quo and the perpetrators of violence. You take away chances for (young) women to stop and think, wait, am I right in feeling uncomfortable with this?
Instead it's the dove and crow meme, where the crow is screaming choice! Empowerment! Safe, sane and consensual! PEOPLE do this! Just watch out for signs of incoming death!
Edited Mar 30 2025, 1:57 AM by Wandering_Feminist56.
Wandering_Feminist56
Mar 30 2025, 1:55 AM #11(Mar 24 2025, 11:26 AM)Fortherecord https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/sep/02/i-think-its-natural-why-has-sexual-choking-become-so-prevalent-among-young-people
Quote:Anthony* has been in a relationship for 10 years and chokes his partner during sex about one in every 10 times. The 29-year-old, who works in the health and fitness industry, noticed she liked to be touched around her neck, which over time led to experimenting with more pressure and “choking”.I wish they could call it what it is: strangling.
Quote:“It’s something we always do with lights on, it’s never a lights off thing because it very much involves looks. Because we’ve been together for so long there’s subtle looks during sex that we have … ‘OK, it’s too much’, ‘keep going’-type situation. It’s definitely not anything that could be done verbally. Again there’s that trust thing. I know what that look means so I know I have to stop.”
I see this really as a case of ''I know that road like the back of my hand! Of course I can drive home from the pub there with my busted headlights and questionable amounts of alcohol in my blood. I've done it hundreds of times and nothing ever happened!''... Until it does.
Quote:“People should be able to engage in whatever they want to do, if it’s consensual and talked-through and everybody wants to do it and it’s feeling good for people,” Douglas says. We should stay out of people’s private lives, she says. “But I think strangulation is a rather particular thing.”What happens in the bedroom really is the epitome of ''the personal is political''.
What's interesting to me is that they speak of ''young people''; who is strangling who? Is it people, or is it men strangling women? When so many men are so utterly selfish in bed, are they truly strangling for her pleasure? Why are they strangling exactly?
Also I find it peculiar how they somewhat question the influence of porn on sex. Like, are you kidding me? Look at just how men talk, what they say! How for so many of them, porn is the framework through which they view the world, how some of the misogyny is clearly influenced by porn (not as a cause, but in terms of the form that it takes). The jokes they make, that stem from porn, how they label women as porn categories. The things they demand from their partner. Everything! And that's just ignoring all the data of how porn influences the way men in particular view sex and women.
This article is clearly pro-patriarchy. It glosses over who is strangling who and why, it's all ''young people''. It questions whether porn has a major, problematic influence. It somewhat normalizes strangling. It paints it as a ''private issue'', what do we know that from? ... From people who look away from DV and child abuse happening behind closed doors (or publicly) because it's a ''private matter''. When you gloss over all connotations, context, meaning, the influence of millennia of extreme misogyny and call it a choice, you're benefitting the status quo and the perpetrators of violence. You take away chances for (young) women to stop and think, wait, am I right in feeling uncomfortable with this?
Instead it's the dove and crow meme, where the crow is screaming choice! Empowerment! Safe, sane and consensual! PEOPLE do this! Just watch out for signs of incoming death!